


The Path of Most Resistance

by russiaeats1cake



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Beards (Relationships), Coming Out, Denial, Drama & Romance, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Sex, F/M, Future Fic, Lust, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Violetshipping, Yaoi, eventual peach fluff (maybe), post-dsod, puppyshipping - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-06-15 21:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 42,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15421860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/russiaeats1cake/pseuds/russiaeats1cake
Summary: Being in the public eye in Japan and the CEO of a multimillion dollar company, there are things that Kaiba can't do. Now having found an 'acceptable' woman for wife material, he is marching down the path of least resistance. What happens when tragedy strikes, and a certain blond-haired duelist becomes a touchstone. COMPLETE





	1. The Proposal

Chapter 1: The Proposal

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: After many a year of silence, I have finally returned to writing fanfiction. And what better start than a puppyshipping fic? This is a little side project to remove some pressure from my larger writing projects.

Remember, if you don’t like the pairing, don’t read. And if you wanna follow or review, please do. I would love to hear from you all.

Yugioh is owned by Kazuki Takahashi and definitely not by me.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
For all intents and purposes, Ito Niko was the perfect woman for him. She was beautiful--straight, white teeth, luscious raven-black hair, an hourglass figure--, she was witty, and intelligent...driven. She was patient with his devotion to work, and she got along well with Mokuba. And of course, Mokuba liked her, though he seemed to like most people. And who wouldn’t want a television celebrity as a spouse? From the standpoint of any heterosexual male in Kaiba Seto’s position, Niko was “the One” with a capital O. It made the most logical sense.

Kaiba sat at his desk, his chair swiveled to the large window behind him, a glass of whiskey neat clutched in his hand. On his desk was a small black box that he had bought a few days ago. For Niko. He gave the glass a squeeze and took a big gulp of his drink.

The problem was that he wasn’t straight. He had known for years that he was far from it. His lingering glances, his dreams, his impassioned affairs behind closed doors. That didn’t start him down the road to finding a life partner though. On the contrary, he was not in a position to “flaunt his gay”. It wasn’t exactly socially acceptable in Japan to be in a homosexual relationship, and who knew how that would affect the public image of Kaiba Corp... 

He ran a hand through his chestnut brown hair, then brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing.

No, he couldn’t publicly follow through with his own desires. It could ruin him. Tonight had to be the night so that they could announce it the next day and silence any spurned ex-lovers of his that were speaking to the media. It didn’t matter what he wanted in this case. He just wanted to make sure Mokuba’s life wouldn’t be disrupted.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.

“Enter,” Kaiba managed to croak out.

Behind him, the office door opened and clicked shut. He didn’t turn around. He kept staring out blankly at the skyline of Domino City.

“Hey, Seto,” said Mokuba. At the age of seventeen, his voice had deepened, increasingly and eerily reminding Kaiba of his real father’s voice. “I wanted to catch you before your date tonight.”

Kaiba cocked an eyebrow and turned his chair to face Mokuba, who had found a seat at the opposite side of the desk. His eyes followed Mokuba’s to the black box.

“So you’re really going to do it,” he said. He shook his head. “You don’t have to do this, Seto. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

Kaiba snorted. “What are you talking about, Mokuba?”

“You know what I’m talking about. I know you really don’t want to do this. Niko’s great, but I know that you won’t be completely happy with her.”

“That’s rather presumptuous of you to say that. I’m pretty sure I would know what would make me happy. Besides, why would any rational human being sign a legally binding contract that--

“You mean, why would anyone marry someone they weren’t in love with?” Mokuba cut in. He tugged at his long hair in frustration. “Big brother, marriage isn’t just about assets and contracts and image. It’s about caring for someone and, and intimacy. And you and Niko...I just can’t see it working out.”

Mokuba’s gray eyes locked with Kaiba’s blue. The likeness of his eyes to his mother’s was overwhelming now. His brother had grown up to be a precious reminder of their family. Their father’s wit and hair, their mother’s eyes and fire. Kaiba looked like their father, but he didn’t want to make any presumptions of who he was most like. He just knew, looking at his baby brother, that he was the best of both of their parents. A lighthouse for Kaiba’s sanity.

“Screw what the tabloids have been saying. You don’t need a beard to be an effective CEO of Kaiba Corp. Be true to yourself and find happiness that way. Whatever happened to the brother that didn’t have to explain himself to anyone?”

“Sometimes, you just have to do things you don’t want to do. It’s called being an adult, Mokuba.” Kaiba finished off his drink and broke out the bottle again, filling his glass.

Again, Mokuba shook his head. “Seto, you haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what?” It may have been the whiskey, but his words were more biting.

“You’re always drinking when it involves Niko. Hell, look at you now,” Mokuba said and gestured at Kaiba’s heavy handed pour. “How many have you had?” He didn’t wait for Kaiba to answer. “You’re, you’re fucking liquoring up for the proposal. Who does that?”

“That’s enough, Mokuba.” His glass was already half-empty. He hated to admit that there was truth in that, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“I don’t think so. Not until you come to your senses--”

“My senses are completely clear.” Kaiba slammed his drink to the desk, droplets of alcohol showering the surface. His words were unconvincing as he seemed to notice that his words were slurring together.

“Whatever. I don’t think that Mom and Dad would have wanted you to have some farce marriage.”

“Don’t you dare bring our parents into this, Mokuba.” Kaiba’s eye twitched. The mere mention of them was upsetting. He didn’t want to even think about what they would think of the entire situation, about him. 

Mokuba growled. “You’re not even denying that it’s all a farce. Seto,” he squeezed his eyes shut, and Kaiba could only imagine his brother as he was almost five years ago--small, needing to be protected. “I just want you to be happy. I know you’re doing this for Kaiba Corp., but you can’t always put that ahead of yourself. You’ll just end up lonely.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Kaiba said.

“Well, I want to talk about it--”

“Mokuba, get it through your thick skull. Not everyone gets what they want.” Kaiba stood and gestured to the door. “Now get out. I’ll see you at home, and we will never speak of this again. You understand?”

Stricken, Mokuba stiffly nodded. He stood and walked to the door. He looked back at Kaiba. “I understand, Big Brother. I just can’t help, but…”

The door opened.

“I love you, Seto.” 

A pause. Kaiba said nothing. He only sat, grabbed his drink, and swiveled his chair back to the window.

There was a resounding click as Mokuba closed the door and left.

Kaiba sat silently, fuming. He needed to calm down before he met Niko. Coming in drunk and angry did not spell success for a marriage proposal. He glared at the cityscape, the blanket of sunset settling upon it, shadows reaching like hands. He knew that Mokuba was right, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. He was the face of Kaiba Corp., and he had to keep up appearances. Mokuba was the one that needed to enjoy the freedom given to him. 

Looking down at his near empty glass, he considered a fourth drink. That would be overkill, he thought to himself. He placed his glass on his desk and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. He sat there like that for several minutes. Finally, he reached over to his office phone and pressed 1 for his secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Kaiba?”

“Kanna, have my limo ready for me in ten.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She was the center of attention. All eyes were on her. Except Kaiba’s. His eyes were downcast, thinking of Mokuba’s words. He shook them out of his head, and he took a bite from his Basque-style fish with green peppers and Manila clams. His stomach squirmed. Niko’s hand reached over and held his hand.

“Love, are you okay? You seem distracted…” Niko tossed her side ponytail to her back and leaned across his table, touching his face, pulling it to look at her own.

Worry creased her face, and Kaiba felt bad. He didn’t hate or resent Niko. Again, she was the perfect woman, and she had slowly become a close friend of his. Long nights talking about their lives and interests. Adventures across continents without murdering each other or growing tired of each other. The basis of a good marriage. Right? What did it matter that he didn’t necessary have any desire for her? He gave her a small smile and said. “Sorry. Work has been,” he searched for a word, “taxing.”

Resting her head on her hand, Niko gave his hand a squeeze and said, “Yeah, but I feel like there’s something else. You know you can’t hide anything from me, Seto.”

With his free hand, Kaiba sipped at his red wine. His eyes darted to the tablecloth. Better now than later, he supposed. He had the key points he wanted to cover already in his head. He knew what to say, how to say, when to smile, when to lock eyes with her. He had had enough alcohol to make it easier to start. Yes, why not now? He took another sip of his wine.

“You’re so nervous,” Niko commented. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

Show time.

Kaiba smiled at her and took her hand in his. It was one of the few times he displayed very much affection in public, and Niko could only blush. He figured she knew what was coming as a small smile crept onto her face. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He said, “I’m fine, Niko. Great, actually. I guess nervous too. I’ve just been thinking. We’ve been together for two years now. We’ve gone on adventures together. We’ve grown together. Shared plenty of laughs. And,” he gave pause, looking up at her, locking eyes with her, “I’ve never felt lonely in your company. You’re my best friend.”

Niko covered her mouth with her hand, tears threatened to cascade down her cheeks. Kaiba pulled out the box and opened it, revealing a sparkling ring. Around them, people were chattering excitedly. Kaiba pushed on, feeling sick to his stomach.

“I can’t imagine life without you, Niko. Will you…?” He pushed the box to Niko.

“Yes. Absolutely.” She again leaned across the table and pulled his face to her. Her lips touched his, and he kissed back dutifully.

People broke out into applause. People were recording the moment on their phones, snapping pictures. This was for Kaiba Corp., for Mokuba, Kaiba thought to himself. He slipped the ring on Niko’s finger and Niko held his hand and held it up in the air like a trophy. She smiled for the pictures. The pictures would be all over the internet, trending on social media, and by morning, it would be the talk of the town. 

This was for Kaiba Corp.

This was for Mokuba.

He pulled her hand over and gave it a kiss. 

It wasn’t long after that they both sat in his limo, driving back to Niko’s place. His gut ached, and Niko was nibbling at his neck and rubbing at his thigh. He couldn’t even feign interest. They reached her condo and the limo driver parked, leaving the car idle. Niko pressed her breasts to his arm and she whispered into his ear.

“Stay the night?”

Kaiba shifted away from her. He said, “Not tonight.”

He caught her disappointed face. He knew that occasions like proposals usually led to sex, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it tonight. He brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted. Work really has been taxing lately.”

“Okay,” Niko said and kissed him deeply. She poked at his chest. “But you owe me.”

She opened the door and got out. She bent down to look at him, and he was positive she was doing this to show off her cleavage. “You sure?”

He smirked. “Unfortunately.”

“I’ll call you in the morning then. Love you!” Niko shut the door.

Free, Kaiba slumped down and covered his face with his hands.

“Are you okay, Mr. Kaiba?” the driver said.

“Yes. Just tired. Take me home.”

“Yes, sir.”

The limo started moving, and Kaiba relished in the silence of the ride until his phone started ringing. He looked at the caller. It was a number he didn’t recognize. He answered it.

“Kaiba.”

“Mr. Kaiba Seto? This is the Central Hospital. My name is Dr. Tanaka Riku.”

“Mhm.” He was loosening his tie. His head felt too fuzzy to pretend that he had patience.

“We need you to come immediately. Your brother has been in an accident.”

His heart stopped. He leaned to the driver and hissed. “Central Hospital, now.”

To Dr. Tanaka, he said, “Is he okay? What happened?”

“A car wreck. He is currently in surgery, but…”

“But what? Out with it.”

“It doesn’t look good.”

His mind sharpened immediately. Anger bubbled up inside his gut now, amplifying the pain. “Now you listen here. You are going to care for my brother like your job is on the line.”

He hung up. His driver seemed to take the hint of the urgency and sped down the road, but Kaiba was too distracted by his shaking hands. He needed to call somebody, anybody, and let them know about this. 

Yugi. Yugi needed to know about this. Aside from Niko, he had somehow become his best friend. It was funny how becoming business partners changed things.

With his hands still shaking, Kaiba managed to dial Yugi’s number.


	2. The Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaiba and Jonouchi's paths cross during a time of crisis. How will Jonouchi react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...So some real talk. I haven't been able to post for a very good reason. I have bipolar disorder and just recently had an episode that lasted a few weeks. It was long and exhausting, and I felt God awful for not being able to post or write new material. However, here it is now. New post, ready for the eyes to feast upon.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Chapter 2

The Accident

Jonouchi Katsuya sat across from his best friend Mutou Yugi. A game of renju sat between them. Unsurprisingly, Yugi was winning, and he had the audacity to make small talk while he did. Jonouchi smirked. There was always something about games that made his shorter friend at ease. He placed his black piece on the board. 

“How’s Shizuka? I haven’t seen her in forever,” Yugi said as he stared at the board, his hand tugging at the knot of his purple tie. He looked like he was deep in thought, but Jonouchi knew he was listening.

“She’s good. She’s about to graduate,” Jonouchi said. He watched as Yugi finally moved a white piece. “Ma’s actually asking if I’m coming to graduation. She’s trying to make dinner plans.”

It had been years in the making, but Jonouchi and his mother were finally coming to an understanding with each other. Not everything was forgiven. But it was a start. He was just glad that he was being included in Shizuka’s life. Especially when she wasn’t allowed to come to Jonouchi’s graduation. He still felt sore about it, but again, not everything was forgiven. He squinted at the board.

“That’s great, Jou.”

There was silence between them as Jonouchi thought through his next move. He reached for a piece.

“So are you bringing anyone?”

And Jonouchi recoiled. “What do you mean? I don’t think Ma really wants outside friends invited.”

“No, no. Not like that.” Yugi searched the room for a place to stare off at. “I just haven’t heard you talk about any dates lately. I figured you were keeping it under wraps is all.”

Jonouchi blushed. “Oh, um, no.”

“So no one.”

“Hey, I don’t wanna hear it from you,” Jonouchi said as he moved a piece. He gave Yugi a lopsided grin. “Not from the guy who’s spent the better part of his life in love with one of his friends.”

Jonouchi rested his chin on his fist.

“When did you last chat?”

It was Yugi’s turn to blush. He said, “Last night.”

“Didn’t you talk to her this past Friday too?”

“Shut up, Jou,” Yugi said. He was blushing furiously now, staring intently at the board.

“Look, I just think you should tell her how you feel. Anzu’s going to be in Tokyo in a few months, and she’s gonna have that contract with Tokyo Ballet for the next couple of years…”

Yugi didn’t answer. He only moved a white piece and said, “I win. You want something to drink?”

He didn’t wait for Jonouchi to answer. He disappeared to the kitchen.

Geez, he didn’t mean to sour the mood so fast. Jonouchi was just calling it as he saw it. He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. After all, he was positive Anzu felt the same way. Sure, she talked to him and Honda, but she didn’t talk to them as much as she did Yugi. And the length of the conversations? He wasn’t sure how Yugi seemed so well-rested all the time.

In the kitchen, he heard Yugi’s phone ring.

“Speak of the devil,” he said.

He listened as Yugi answered, paused, and then Jonouchi heard, “Mokuba’s been in an accident?”

In a second, Yugi was back in the living room, grabbing his jacket.

Jonouchi followed Yugi as the other stood and hurried to the front door, slipping on his shoes. If Mokuba was in trouble, Jonouchi wanted to be there. Anything to support the kid. And anything to support Kaiba. Being an older brother, he could only imagine what he would be feeling if something ever happened to Shizuka. Not only that, Mokuba was the only family Kaiba had left. While they weren’t particularly friends and Jonouchi was disgusted by the increasingly cookie-cutter life the Kaiba was sculpting out for himself, losing Mokuba, he knew, would destroy Kaiba.

Yugi hung up the phone in the bus after talking Kaiba down. He exhaled and loosened his tie even more. Things must not have been going well if Yugi had to break out the extreme levels of compassion and sympathy that he had just witnessed. Jonouchi grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. He said, “Is it that bad, Yugi?”

A nod.

“What happened?”

“Someone ran a red light and T-boned the car. The guy was speeding, and Mokuba,” Yugi hesitated, “he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. Kaiba was always harping on that kid about that.”

A pregnant silence followed. The lights of the bus glared down on them. Few people were on the bus at this hour--Jonouchi checked his phone for the time--nine o’clock. Wow. It was already nine o’clock. He placed his phone in his pocket. Next to him, Yugi was biting his lip, picking at his fingers. Years ago, Yugi would have been an emotional wreck. He had grown up a lot since high school. Still, he knew he was worried and anxious. After all, he and Kaiba had developed a stable friendship, one that Kaiba was acknowledging even publicly, ever since they were collaborating in bringing Yugi’s game to fruition. And he knew Yugi. Whenever it came to his friends, his empathy got the better of him. Jonouchi thought back to Anzu’s father’s untimely death. 

The bus started slowing down, and Yugi jerked his head up. He said, “Here. They’re at Central Hospital,” and he stood. Jonouchi followed suit, and they exited the bus.

It was obvious that they were near the hospital by the news crews set up around the street, and the sight of it made Jonouchi feel bad for the brothers. There was no sense of privacy for them. Couldn’t Mokuba recover in peace, without a camera or microphone or recorder hovering near him? The same went for Kaiba, though he had his own way handling the media. It was evidenced by how he had coolly brushed off rumors of his sexuality--a stern and simple “Those rumors are just that, rumors” and later followed by a kiss with his girlfriend Ito Niko. But this was a whole other monster. While scandal sold, tragedy brought in the big bucks. If things didn’t end with the best outcome, Kaiba was in for a long and stressful ride in addition to his mourning. 

Jonouchi shook his head as he and Yugi hiked over to the the hospital doors.

Mokuba was going to make it. He had to. The kid still had an entire life ahead of him.

“Excuse me--where can I find the Kaiba brothers? I’m Mutou Yugi. Mr. Kaiba is expecting me.”

“Over here, Mr. Mutou.” Isono approached the two of them.  
.  
True to form, Yugi said with earnest, “Isono! How’s Mokuba? Has there been any word? And how is Kaiba doing?”

“The young Mr. Kaiba is still in surgery. They are expecting to have him out soon,” he said, and he gestured to the elevator. “Follow me to Mr. Kaiba please.”

The three of them rode the elevator up to a private level, and Jonouchi balked at the sight of Kaiba. Hunched over, hands covering his face, Jonouchi had never seen him so vulnerable, so anguished. Yugi rushed ahead of him and found a seat next to Kaiba. He was shocked to see Yugi touch Kaiba’s shoulder without any sort of blow-up, but then again, why would that be a priority of Kaiba that very moment? Jonouchi gingerly walked up to the two, and he could suddenly smell the strong scent of alcohol. Some sort of celebration must have been interrupted. 

“Have you called Niko?” Jonouchi heard Yugi ask.

Kaiba turned and stared at Yugi, bewildered. “What?”

“Niko?”

“Oh.” A pause. “No, not yet.”

“Seto, she’s your fiancee--”

Jonouchi’s skin prickled at those words. So the cookie-cutter story continued. 

“I, I don’t know, Yugi.”

“You need me to call her?” There was something in Yugi’s voice that made Jonouchi question Kaiba and Niko’s relationship, but he ignored the thought.

Jonouchi watched as Kaiba stammered. It was unnerving seeing the usually icy and controlled CEO fraying apart. Before he could give an answer, a doctor walked up to them.

“Mr. Kaiba?” he said.

Kaiba and Yugi shot to their feet. Yugi gave Kaiba an encouraging squeeze of the shoulder and let him walk off with the doctor.

There was no way to eavesdrop, so Jonouchi decided to try to read their lips to no avail. But he could read expressions and the doctor’s expression wasn’t promising. When Kaiba grabbed the man by the shirt collar, towering over him, Jonouchi knew. His heart pounded at the sight of Kaiba as he shouted at the doctor and of Yugi running over to them to pull Kaiba away. He wasn’t registering Kaiba’s words. His voice cracked as Yugi managed to pull him away from the doctor. 

“Let go of me,” Kaiba snapped. He jerked away from Yugi. “I want to see him.”

“He’s going to recovery right now, Mr. Kaiba. You’ll be able to see him soon.”

“Take me now.”

Jonouchi again watched as Kaiba was escorted away to Mokuba. Yugi made his way back to him, and he collapsed on the chair.

“He’s out of surgery. But he is in bad shape, it sounds like.” Yugi brushed a hand through his hair. “And he reeks of alcohol...I told him he needed to stop that.”

He sighed and said, “I’m gonna call Niko.”

After a quick phone call, Yugi was back, wringing his hands. It wasn’t long until they were both invited back to Mokuba’s room. They were met with an uneasy silence, Kaiba sitting next to Mokuba, his fingers tented as he hunched over.

Yugi and Jonouchi walked up to the still form of Mokuba. He was hooked up to different monitors. The breathing machine attached to him wheezed noisily. 

“Seto, what’s the word?”

“Internal bleeding, concussion, massive blood loss. Right side of his body is completely shattered.” Kaiba listed robotically. “Possible brain damage.”

The question, What are his chances, hung in the air. But Yugi moved on, gesturing for Jonouchi to come closer.

“I really don’t think he would want to see me,” Jonouchi mouthed, but Yugi gave him a stern look. Usually, the little guy knew what he was doing. 

Yugi sat down next to Kaiba and Jonouchi found a seat at the window. 

“How’re you holding up, Kaiba?” Jonouchi found himself asking. Kaiba’s shoulders were shaking, and Jonouchi wondered if he was crying or holding in an angry, betrayed cry. He knew the feeling. Kaiba didn’t answer, opting to covering his face with his hands. Jonouchi said, “I’m sorry.”

“You know how it is to try to protect your sibling and things just seem to stack up against you?” Kaiba’s hand was clutching Mokuba’s. “After all we’ve been through...and a fucking car accident... How is this fair?”

Jonouchi cleared his throat. He didn’t expect Kaiba to be so talkative at the moment. He said, “Yeah, after Pegagsus, Marik, and the Pharoah, you’d think that we were kind of invincible...But I’d always be scared for my kid sister. I never wanted Shizuka to ever be dragged into our messes.”

“I try my best to keep Mokuba out of trouble. No kid deserves to be kidnapped as much as he has been.” Kaiba bit his lip. “I shouldn’t have let that happen.” His hands clasped together, he shook his head. “I shouldn’t have let this happen--”

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Kaiba. This was an accident. The only person that could have prevented it was the guy that ran that light. You did absolutely nothing wrong,” Yugi said. He hand an hand on his shoulder

A sob escaped Kaiba and a tense silence followed. Jonouchi could tell. He was trying to hold it all in. 

“We were fighting earlier.”

Jonouchi flashbacked to his own father. How would he have handled Jonouchi’s death had their last interaction been like Mokuba’s and Kaiba’s? Would he be as broken up as Kaiba? But he understood what Kaiba was getting at. The guilt, the regret. He wondered how much Kaiba had had to drink. He moved to a chair closer to Kaiba and Yugi.

Kaiba grit his teeth together and was silent. His body began to shake hard.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jonouchi said. “Let it out.”

“You know how scared I was when Shizuka was about to lose her eyesight? I was so afraid that I was going to fail her, that I couldn’t protect her. She was tenacious, that’s for sure. She is the strongest girl I know, but...when I lost the duel against Yugi at Duelist Kingdom, I thought I had failed her. She was going to lose her eyesight because of me.” Jonouchi shook his head. “The thing is, I know that’s a load of crap. I did my best for Shizuka, and even if she hadn’t gotten her eye surgery, she would have still loved me. Sometimes, sometimes, Kaiba, we can’t protect them. And I know this isn’t comforting at all, but everything is going to be okay. Mokuba knows that you love him, and I have never known a closer pair of brothers. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Jou’s right. You couldn’t have prevented this. He’s going to pull through though. He’s a tough kid.”

They sat in silence for several minutes. Jonouchi focused on Kaiba’s slow breathing as he tried to calm himself down. He wondered if the reporters were still waiting on him. 

 

They all jumped as someone knocked on the door. Yugi and Jonouchi looked at the door, and raven haired Niko, wearing jeans and a band shirt, rushed in, gathering Kaiba in her arms from behind.

“Oh my God, Seto,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. She pulled him into a kiss, and Jonouchi felt his stomach tighten, sick at the sight. Kaiba pulled away in disinterest. They were engaged now, but, maybe it was Mokuba on his mind, Kaiba didn’t seem so grateful for her presence. No, he was looking into it way too much.

The bus ride back to the game shop was gloomy. His heart ached for the Kaiba brothers, but he was baffled by the older Kaiba in particular. What had just happened? He looked at Yugi, whose eyes were downcast.

“Hey, Yugi…” He couldn’t believe he was asking this. “I know this isn’t the time, but you’ve met Niko, right? What do you think of this engagement?”

Yugi was quiet, pondering. Jonouchi imagined that he was trying to choose his words carefully. Finally, the spiky haired man said, “It’s okay. I just think that Kaiba could be happier. Why? Something happen?”

“Hm? No.”


	3. Late Night in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened between Jonouchi and Kaiba back then?

Chapter 3: Late Night in the Past

What happened between them was an accident, and Kaiba had not intended on ever seeing him again after it. He should have known though. Keeping Yugi company made it difficult to avoid Jonouchi. 

Get out of my head, mutt. But the words felt half-hearted even in his own head.

Laying in his bed, on top of the comforter in the clothes he wore that day, Kaiba covered his face with a hand and breathed in deeply and exhaled. He doubted that he was going to get any sleep. All he wanted to do was return to the hospital and receive a positive update on Mokuba’s condition. He had told the damn kid to be more mindful of safety, and now...Kaiba grit his teeth together, a shout welling up in his throat. What made it worse was Jonouchi. All he had wanted to do was sit in the company of him while he spoke encouraging words, making him feel hope. It was something that he had observed; Jonouchi learned the levels of space that he allowed at any given time. 

Whereas Niko…

Kaiba thought of the kiss. Unwelcome, unexpected, unhelpful. Things that he didn’t particularly like. Sometimes she got carried away, and most times he could play along. But not with Mokuba there. Attached to the monitors. Bandaged. Limbs elevated. Unmoving--he couldn’t believe that his brother was still alive with the state that he was in, but there he was; he was alive, breathing (with a breathing tube), and that was at the very least what Kaiba wanted now. He was just happy his brother had a chance.

He let his hand fall to the pendant Mokuba had given him years ago, and he flipped it open. With the moonlight streaming from his windows, he could see Mokuba at a chessboard, smiling back at the camera. He was just torturing himself now, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt an indescribable emptiness within himself without Mokuba at the mansion. It was far too big for the both of them. Kaiba closed the pendant and, clutching it, he pressed it on his brow. An attempt at any connection to his little brother. Nothing happened.

Anger washing over him, Kaiba sat up and hopped off his bed, making for his study. He needed to forget. He needed to sleep or have something like sleep. He opened the door to his study and shut it. After a pause, he locked it. He turned to the couch sitting comfortably along the wall, across from his desk. There he saw Mokuba and, of all people, Jonouchi--phantoms of the night in his own nightmare--laughing and joking, Jonouchi glancing at Kaiba with his lopsided grin with a softness that had confused him. Kaiba turned abruptly away from the couch and took out the bottle of scotch in his desk drawer. He poured a generous glass and sat at his desk, twisting his chair to the window so that he wouldn’t be facing the couch. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget so desperately. He wanted to be able to come to work tomorrow with a clear head, but...Kaiba sipped at his drink. He wasn’t going in tomorrow. To be frank, the media would find the most inconvenient and frustrating ways to talk to him. Snakes. He found himself pouring another generous glass and sipping it, his body leaning into his desk for stability. 

The clock in his study read three o’clock. While he felt tired, his body was alive with energy. Tomorrow he was going to visit Mokuba and try to work at the hospital. He couldn’t be seen in his inevitable exhausted state at Kaiba Corp. 

Kaiba chanced a glance at the couch again. He no longer saw Mokuba and Jonouchi, but his heart ached nonetheless. For a time, Jonouchi spent time at the mansion, when he and Kaiba started a tentative friendship as a result of Yugi. He and Mokuba had spent time at the couch chatting, including Kaiba in the conversation, backing off when Kaiba wasn’t in the mood. Then Mokuba started having a social life outside of the mansion. It was when Jonouchi and Kaiba began playful, not venomous, banter with each other, sharing drinks together in the study, discussing life and dueling and issues around Japan. Increasingly, Kaiba remembered, he and Jonouchi sitting closer to each other with the growing comfort between them. Until one night, they sat by each other on the couch.

“The game’s interface is laughable and you should be ashamed of yourself that you even thought that you liked it,” Kaiba had said. He had dropped his dog jabs.

“Hear me out,” Jonouchi had said. “I couldn’t make my barbarian do exactly what I wanted him to do, but I liked the mythology. It was a breath of fresh air after all things fantasy had to be like Tolkien and Lord of the Rings.”

“It’s not good business. The market is still hot for Tolkien-esque games. Doing anything different only serves the minority of the market.” Kaiba had snorted. “Mythology...our lives in high school were full of mythology and stupid magic tricks.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Between the two, there had been a comfortable silence. Kaiba couldn’t remember what was going through his head, but he had felt at peace then. The next thing he knew, Jonouchi had leaned his shoulder on Kaiba’s, and Kaiba could smell his body wash--ocean spray--and liquor. Then, it had taken all of Kaiba’s willpower to rest his head on Jonouchi’s blond hair. No one in his circle of friends had needed to know about his preferences, especially in such a potentially awkward situation. It had been the alcohol anyway; it always made him horny as hell. That thought had made Kaiba stand up from the couch and walk to his desk for his scotch. For the remainder of the night, Kaiba had sat at the desk, willing his arousal away. The night had ended with Kaiba walking Jonouchi out to the front while Isono retrieved the car. 

There, Jonouchi had started again. Kaiba should have been more responsible. He had known that Jonouchi became touchier when he was drunk. The blond had wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him to his level. Ocean spray, liquor, and a new scent...cinnamon?  
“Isono can just drop me off at Yugi’s. He’ll understand.”

“It’s one o’clock in the morning. He won’t be awake at this hour.”

“Sure, he will.” Jonouchi had looked up to Kaiba. He hadn’t explained the logic. He only said, “You look good by the way.”

“Wh-what?”

And Jonouchi had pulled Kaiba’s shirt collar toward him and brushed his lips against his. It was brief, but Kaiba then knew that Jonouchi had been chewing cinnamon-flavored gum. The kiss had lingered, their lips, their cheeks close to each other. Tense yet comfortable at the same time. Both of them probably debating what should happen next. After a moment, Kaiba hadn’t been able to restrain himself and caressed Jonouchi’s chin and pulled him into an ocean of bliss and heat between them. Their lips had been pressed softly against each other, but as they kissed, it had become more certain and aggressive, tongues curling into each other, tasting.

The sound of tires on pavement had struck Kaiba out of the moment, and the kiss had been broken as quickly as it had happened.

And they never really tried seeing each other again.

Kaiba caught himself as he nearly slipped off his desk. It was four. Drunk, he stumbled to the couch and fell on top of it. He drifted off into blackness.


	4. The Plush

Chapter 4: The Plush

The first thing Jonouchi wanted to do was check on Mokuba’s status. He had been at a cycling event that his dueling sponsor scheduled him for in Tokyo for the weekend, and Yugi had been too busy at the game shop to give many updates. There was the occasional text about how Kaiba had been answering Yugi monosyllabically and how things seemed to be doing okay, but anything was possible. There was too much left for the imagination right now.

In addition to Mokuba though, Kaiba had been on Jonouchi’s mind. He wanted to visit him at the mansion, but he wasn’t sure if he was really welcome there anymore. They never really got passed the incident, never talked things over. Still, he and Kaiba had become so close, and Jonouchi wanted to be there as some sort of comfort--platonically if that was the only way it could be. The past year had been hell for him, wondering if he had massively screwed up but being far too scared to mention or acknowledge the incident; Kaiba hadn’t even bothered with it, and sometimes, because of that, he wondered if it really did happen. Kaiba’s complete silence and even flatout avoidance was confirmation enough though. Mokuba had tried texting and calling Jonouchi, but Jonouchi, opting to pretend that he had changed his numbers, simply ignored them. Man, did he feel like a scumbag now…

Jonouchi descended the stairs of his apartment complex, a clean and gated piece of land a few miles from the game shop. The first chance he got to leave his old man and the dumpy apartment, he packed the essentials and started from scratch in his one-bedroom. Cleaner, less stressful, a nice view...all things that Jonouchi hadn’t had in years. Of course, he went to visit his dad to make sure he hadn’t died of alcohol poisoning and to do a complete clean of the apartment so that he wouldn’t live in complete filth, but that seemed to be the extent of their relationship anymore. Jonouchi just couldn’t bring himself to trust the man. Pushing the thought from his mind, he walked to the port where he kept his new bicycle he received from the event and wheeled it toward the exit of the complex. Maybe he would stop by at the game shop and pick up Yugi. Jonouchi bit his lip. Or maybe he just wanted some alone time with Mokuba, make up for the times they hadn’t had in the past year. Yeah, that’s what he’d do. With that decision, Jonouchi hopped onto his bike seat and pedalled off toward the hospital.

As he biked, he thought of how his sponsors had successfully kept him busy the past year. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to handle it. He was stronger now. Less ashamed of himself. He had even managed some relationships since the incident that distracted him from all his unanswered questions. But now, with Mokuba the way he was, there were just more questions. 

Biking along the sidewalk, Jonouchi glanced at the shops he passed. Bakeries. Hobby shops. Ramen shops. He skidded to a stop. His eyes locked with Blue Eyes White Dragon plush in a window with other duel monsters plushes. Without a second thought, he rushed in and bought it. He secured the shopping bag on his handlebars and stepped off again.

When Jonouchi arrived at the hospital, he backtracked, using muscle memory to guide him to Mokuba’s room. No one stopped him. One useful thing he learned was that nobody asks questions if you walk into seemingly restricted areas with confidence. He reached the door to Mokuba’s room, and he inhaled deeply, giving the plush a squeeze under his arm. He entered.

He wished he hadn’t. His stomach dropped at the sight of Kaiba set up at the window with his laptop on an extra food tray and paperwork stacked inside his open suitcase. His head rested on his hand as he read his screen. He hadn’t noticed Jonouchi had entered. Jonouchi took in the sight. Kaiba probably was in a few hours working like this. He had his shoes off, his left leg tucked under himself. A foam cup, most likely filled with cold coffee, sat of the arm of the chair he sat--dangerously placed at his elbow (There had been numerous incidents in the past.). And suddenly, his piercing blue eyes were staring straight at him. Jonouchi felt a chill. He felt exposed.

Think fast, Jou...he thought to himself as he broke eye contact. He awkwardly kicked at the floor and held the plush so that Kaiba could see. 

“Just wanted to...you know…”

“Yeah…”

The door opened behind Jonouchi and Niko entered with fresh a foam box that smelled of curry. She said, “Hey, honey. I got you--oh. Hi.”

She and Jonouchi stared at each other for a moment. 

“Hi.”

Niko smiled and held out her free hand. She said, recognizing, “You were here the other night.” She looked over at Kaiba. “Rude much? Introduce us.”

Without looking from his laptop, Kaiba was terse. “This is Jonouchi Katsuya. We went to high school together.”

“And we dueled together,” Jonouchi added. He looked back at Kaiba, catching Kaiba as he looked up from his computer. Their eyes shot away from each other. 

“Oh. I know you. Mokuba talked about you a lot.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. He was telling me about your career and how you got Seto to stop working so late at night--by the way, please fill me in on that. I can’t get him to bed earlier than three. Let alone get him to stop working past midnight.” Niko said this with a smile. She motioned over to an empty chair near Kaiba. “Come, sit. Maybe hearing us talk will help Mokuba out.”

Jonouchi gave Kaiba an uncomfortable look, but he obliged her request. He sat, crossing, then uncrossing his legs. In the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he had seen a glower from Kaiba directed at him and Niko, but Jonouchi shrank in his seat, trying to seem invisible. If anyone was going to lead the conversation, it was going to be Niko. There were just too many landmines for Jonouchi to step on. Granted, Niko could step on the landmines too, but at least he wouldn’t be the cause of it. Maybe he could get out of the hospital room unscathed.

Niko placed the food next to Kaiba. “Honey, it’s time to eat. You’ve been working all morning, and you skipped breakfast.”

Kaiba grunted in acknowledgement but made no move to do anything.

Niko turned to Jonouchi. “So I got to know. What was Seto like in high school?”

“Well, like he is now, but I guess with more angst,” Jonouchi said with a smile. He noticed Kaiba giving him a steady, guarded look. “Nothing too exciting. I guess he was pretty tense 100% of the time since he was still really making Kaiba Corp. his own.”

“Any stories?”

Kaiba’s face seemed tight, and the only thing that Jonouchi could even formulate was scotch, cinnamon, and a cool night’s breeze. Jonouchi cleared his throat. “Have you seen his Blue Eyes White Dragon jet?”

“Please, Jonouchi. Let that die. I was a stupid teenager.” Kaiba had stopped looking at his laptop and was resting his chin on his hand. 

“Aha! Struck a nerve, did he?” Niko laughed. “What was it like?”

“Big, white, dragon-shaped, and far from aerodynamic.”

“Jonouchi.”

“Okay, okay, moneybags. Just teasing.” Jonouchi gave him a thumbs up. He was startled to see a brief smirk on Kaiba’s face before he returned to work.

Next to him, Niko pouted. “You two are no fun.”

“It’s just a matter of respect,” Kaiba said. His eyes had narrowed.

Jonouchi flinched, catching his sharp tone. He wanted to leave now. It was such a short trip, and he hadn’t been able to do what he wanted. And it was getting awkward. It was probably because Kaiba hadn’t been sleeping well. Jonouchi could tell--bags under his eyes, pale face, defenses wavering. 

“Well, of course! But methinks I could learn a lot from Jonouchi, right?” Niko said. She stretched in her spot and scratched Kaiba’s back with her nails. “When was the last time you two spent time together anyway? I think it’s a shame I haven’t met you until now. It’s usually just Yugi.”

Both men stiffened.

“Ah...I’ve been busy, is all,” Jonouchi said. “I have a lot of events that I go to for my sponsors. For a few weeks, I was in Europe, and I’ve been hopping around Japan for the past several months. And then the tournaments too...and they mostly last a weekend each. It’s a gift that I got this whole week to myself. It’s really that. I have no time, and honestly, I have no idea how Kaiba could even manage a dating life with running a multimillion dollar business, eh?”

“Time management,” Kaiba simply said. He had again stopped working, and he was reaching around for his food. 

“Time management...and the sleep? Do you schedule that too? I remember you used to do that in your calendar.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, he schedules his sleeping times on his calendar.”

“Whatever works, works. Obviously, I’ve managed without any sort of mental breakdown. Still, it looks like you’ve been doing okay. No meltdowns like Insector Haga.”

“Nope! None of those. Aren’t you proud? Get this Niko, he told me that he never wanted to see my face again if I ever had a public meltdown.”

“There was criteria for that, Jonouchi. That’s something you conveniently forget.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Prove it.”

“Drugs, gambling, and,” Jonouchi swallowed, “and women.”

Kaiba stopped mid-bite. 

“And there’s been none of that. Congratulations.”

Jonouchi cleared his throat again. He scratched his head. “Speaking of, congrats you two. For your engagement. I’m glad that someone can tolerate Kaiba’s antics.”

“Thank you, Jonouchi. You’re so sweet,” Niko said. She snuggled Kaiba, who remained rigid as he ate his food. “He is a handful.”

“Well, I should probably get going,” Jonouchi said. He suddenly felt like the wind was knocked out of him. 

“Oh, no. Maybe we all can have dinner? With Yugi too?” Niko said.

“Niko, you heard him. He’s busy.”

“He just said that he has the whole week to himself. So how about tomorrow at seven? Jonouchi?” She smiled. “I can let Yugi know.”

His breath was caught in his throat. He nodded.

“Great!”

“Well, it was great meeting you, Niko.” Jonouch gave them a wave. “See you two tomorrow.”

“See you,” said Niko. Kaiba nodded grimly behind her.

When Jonouchi finally left the room, he rushed for the elevator and pressed the button. Niko seemed nice. She was probably one of the more popular girls in high school, and he could imagine her and Anzu hitting it off. The elevator dinged. As the door opened, he stretched grandly, but he realized he was still holding something. The plush. 

“Damn it,” Jonouchi said. He turned and hurried back to the room. He opened the door slightly.

“I thought it would be fine. You two seemed close.”

“I just wish you okayed this with me first. What if I had something scheduled then? And what if I was planning on coming here tomorrow?”

“You can’t just hole yourself up here just in case there’s a miracle and Mokuba wakes up.”

There was a silence, and Jonouchi could feel the frustration between the two. He shut the door quietly. He’d come back later tonight with Yugi. There would be a good buffer then. Yugi had become a great mediator. His steps slow, Jonouchi walked back to the elevator and rode it down to the bottom floor. He found his bike. Before he hopped on, he pulled out his phone and texted Kaiba.

“Sorry if I caused any problems. I can cancel with Niko if you want.”

He stared at his phone for no more than a minute; Kaiba responded.

“It’s okay.”

And then another one.

“It was good talking to you.”

Jonouchi smiled and began his ride home.


	5. Coffee Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saying, after looking at many images of Kaiba on Tumblr, I am more than convinced that he's gay and that Kisara thing was a fluke. 
> 
> Appreciate any likes and comments!

Chapter 5: Coffee Date

There had been a lot that Kaiba had lied about when he proposed to Niko. As he lay in bed with her, he was reminded. There were plenty of times when he felt lonely in her presence. Now was one of them. Her naked body rolled over, tugging some of the blanket away from him. Kaiba turned away from her. He needed a shower and a drink. Especially with what was going to happen today. 

Why did she have to invite him to dinner?

He stood and grabbed his clothes, heading for the bathroom. The bathroom door locked with a click. It was a barrier from Niko. He needed to decompress now or else he could not be held responsible for what he might do. The shower came alive when he twisted the knobs. He stepped into the stall and adjusted the hot water to scalding. Unmoving, he stood as the water washed over him; he rested his arms against the wall in front of him. His eyes squeezed tightly.

As a rational human being--something he prided himself in being--he knew that it would take time for any grand improvement to show in Mokuba’s condition, but it didn’t hurt any less. The patience he had to have was killing him, and he simply wanted Mokuba by his side as usual. Fury filled his chest suddenly. What was the point of his sacrifices if he lost him? He punched the wall, but he instantly regretted feeling any ill will toward Mokuba. He felt selfish, dirtier than he did before coming into the shower. He took some body wash and scrubbed at himself, embracing the burn of the washcloth and scalding water and the throbbing in his right knuckles. These were things that Kaiba couldn’t be fully open to Niko lest she realize that he wasn’t what she thought he was. Wiping some water from his face, he tried thinking of the last person he felt he could have such a conversation. He blushed. Messy blond hair, lop-sided grin, amber eyes.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he felt himself harden. “Gozaburo in lacy lingerie. Mai Valentine. Oatmeal raisin cookies.”

The feeling left him, and he made it a point to push Jonouchi out of his mind. He shampooed his hair and finished his bathroom routine, pulling on some pants and a charcoal button up. When he left the bathroom, Niko was up brushing her hair. Her long hair curled around her bare curves. She smiled at the sight of him. She said, “Good morning. Eager for the day, are we?”

Kaiba walked to the closet and chose a white tie. He dug into a drawer and found a silver tie clip. He secured it.

“I need to go into the office today,” Kaiba said. He grabbed a black blazer and pulled it on. 

“Oh no you don’t. You are not going to the office and then conveniently calling later to say that you can’t come to dinner.” Niko fell onto her belly and reached for her discarded bra and shirt. She put them on and continued. “It’ll be good for you. Let’s be honest. You’re going to need more guy friends so that when we’re married you’ll have people I can send you off to if I get mad. I know you have it with Yugi, but what if he’s not free? He’s eventually going to find someone--he’s adorable. I think Jonouchi will be a good friend to keep close.”

Enough about Jonouchi, Kaiba thought to himself. His heart raced, and he wished that he could stop his body from reacting the way it did. He inhaled and said, “Maybe. Jonouchi wears me out.”

“And he’s so nice and caring. Did you see that plush he brought Mokuba? Maybe some of his gentleness will rub off on you.”

“You’ve only seen one side of him.”

“Well, I trust him anyway.”

“Do what you want,” he said. He walked over to her, knowing she would want a kiss goodbye. “I’m leaving. I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

Niko bounced up from her spot and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him amorously. He pulled away. He said a goodbye and headed out to the main hall. Isono stood at the front door. He opened it for Kaiba, and he couldn’t help but feel some relief at how well Isono knew him. A car sat idling.

“To the office, Mr. Kaiba?”

“Of course, Isono.”

Isono rushed over and opened the car door for Kaiba. He entered and made it a point to buckle up. The door shut, and Kaiba took this time in the car to scroll on his phone. There were plenty of emails and voice messages, but instead of going through them, he returned to his conversation with Jonouchi. The blond hadn’t responded. What did that mean? Did he not feel the same way? Did he think he was being ingenuine? Kaiba stared at his last message.

“It was good talking to you.”

He felt stupid for sending that. It sounded like an angsty teenager awkwardly telling an ex that it was good seeing them. They weren’t like that--Kaiba wanted to shout that but didn’t want Isono thinking that he was losing it. He tossed his phone to the seat next to him, and suddenly Jonouchi’s face lit up the screen with an outgoing call signal.

“Shit--no, no, no.” Kaiba grabbed for his phone, but Jonouchi had already answered.

“Kaiba?”

“Mr. Kaiba, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Kaiba said quickly. Breathless, he composed himself. “Jonouchi.”

“Yes?” A pause. 

“Hm?”

“You called me. Remember?”

“Oh, right.” Kaiba desperately searched for some words.

“You change your mind?” Jonouchi suddenly said.

“I’m sorry?” Why were his shoulders so tense?

“About dinner tonight. Like I said, we can cancel.”

As much as he would have liked that, he shook his head. Niko would never have let him hear the end of it. “Dinner is still on. To be honest…”

“...Yes?”

“It was accidental. The call.”

“Oh.” 

A silence that seemed to span for hours hung between them.

“Well, I know you’re busy, but do you want to catch up?” Jonouchi asked. His voice sounded tense. Like he was trying to stay calm.

They could be adults about this. After all, Kaiba was engaged, and from how Jonouchi was talking about it, he was too busy for anything to...happen. Kaiba nodded but realized Jonouchi wouldn’t see it. Putting on his usual stern voice, he said, “Sure. Where do you want to meet?”

“...Really? Ahm...Let’s get coffee. You remember AFK Cafe?”

“Sure. Thirty minutes?”

“Right on. See ya then.”

“Are we taking a detour, Mr. Kaiba?” Isono said when Kaiba put his phone in his pocket. Isono looked back at him through the rearview mirror. Of course, he would eavesdrop on that conversation. Embarrassment welled up into his cheeks, and he looked out the window. To some extent, Isono was doing his job, but that phone call felt too personal for someone to be listening in on.

“AFK Cafe in thirty minutes.”

And they made it to the cafe thirty minutes on the dot. Kaiba was impressed to see Jonouchi early, sitting under an umbrella with two foam cups of coffee in front of him.

“I can walk to Kaiba Corp. from here when I’m done,” Kaiba said. He looked over to Isono and caught him grinning. “What?”

The smile dropped from his face. “Nothing, sir. I will see you at Kaiba Corp. then.”

Kaiba exited the car, briefcase in hand, and walked over to Jonouchi. The blond looked like he was in a trance as he walked up to him. Kaiba sat in front of him, looking at the extra coffee.

Jonouchi jumped in his seat, but he recovered quickly.

“Red eye. I figured you didn’t sleep well last night,” Jonouchi said. He shrugged as Kaiba, secretly grateful, fingered the cup. “I owed you from last time.”

Kaiba couldn’t even when ‘last time’ was.

The two sat in awkward silence, sipping at their drinks. For whatever reason, the only thing Kaiba wanted to talk about was the incident. But where to start? And was a public place the best place to talk about it? His chest swelled with anxiety. What the hell were they supposed to talk about--

Jonouchi cleared his throat loudly. “So you’re engaged. How long have you two been, you know…”

“Officially, one year. But we were kind of casual the year before that.”

“You kept her under wraps pretty good,” Jonouchi said. He smiled. It was a comment. It didn’t seem to ask for a response.

Niko wasn’t a serious contender for a while. Not until he and Jonouchi stopped spending time with each other. (Who was he kidding then? He would have never gone beyond the incident, not even to sate his desire to explore the possibilities.) Niko was just an attempt to fill the void that Jonouchi had left. His head swam suddenly. Why was he thinking like this? It wasn’t like Jonouchi and Kaiba’s relationship went anywhere at all. It was purely physical. No emotions involved whatsoever. He pressed his fingers to his brow, massaging a bit.

“What’s been new with you?” Kaiba said. He hoped he didn’t sound annoyed, but he couldn’t suppress the frustration he felt with himself.

Jonouchi stiffened and placed his cup on the table. A frown creased his face. “Ah. Nothing really. Sorry, I’m wasting your time, aren’t I? I can get going.”

He made to stand.

“No.” Never. Kaiba grabbed his wrist. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long week. Kaiba Corp. has been demanding a lot of time. And then with Mokuba. I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t even know why I’m going into the office today. I haven’t been able to focus well for days. And…”

He stared at Jonouchi, and he shook his head. “It’s even been before the accident.”

Jonouchi’s gaze clung to Kaiba. And Kaiba found that he wasn’t sure if he was talking about Mokuba’s accident or the incident a year ago. He had to admit. Things before the incident had been causing him to struggle too.

“I do want to catch up, Jonouchi.” He took a sip of his coffee. “You have sponsors now. And I’ve heard a lot about your wins. I never got to congratulate you.”

“No big deal.” Jonouchi smirked. “I don’t need the validation I needed in high school.”

Jonouchi’s eyes glanced over to Kaiba’s hand, which still held his wrist. Kaiba caught the look and moved his arm away from Jonouchi.

“Good to hear. That was annoying.”

Jonouchi laughed. “Yeah.” He fell silent and scrutinized Kaiba; it made Kaiba tense. He remembered the look.

You look good.

God, he had no idea when it all started. He needed to stop this before another horrible mistake was made.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it annoying per se. Endearing is what I remember it as.”

Jonouchi’s sheepish smile both moved and agitated Kaiba. “It was annoying, like most of your antics in high school.”

“Chill, Kaiba. I thought we were past this.”

Kaiba crossed his arms. “Whatever.”

Jonouchi mirrored him. “Well, excuse me, moneybags. I thought we were having a nice conversation, and the second we change the conversation to me, you act all extra and dramatic. What, you can’t share the attention?”

There was nothing in Kaiba’s mind that could be thrown back without it being contradictory or a lie (that would make him look like an idiot). So he deflected. “I don’t have to answer to you about this.”

A scoff. “How am I not surprised about this?” Jonouchi stood from his seat. “You’re being a fucking teenager.”

“You’re one to talk,” Kaiba said, standing as well. He felt himself falter. He had become so used to shorter, less inflammatory arguments with Jonouchi, both of them tempering with age, and he really wanted one of those right now. Show him that he didn’t care that much about him. But he couldn’t. Jonouchi simply smiled and said, “Man, is this the best we can do? We used to literally be at each other’s throats at this point.”

“I didn’t know we were comparing,” Kaiba lied. He took a sip of his coffee, then sighed. “While this has been fun, I’m going to get to work, since I have a life. Don’t be late tonight.”

“Ey, I wasn’t late just now.”

“A fluke.”

“Whatever.” And Jonouchi unlocked the chain on his bike and pedaled away. 

Kaiba stared after him. His grip tightened around his coffee cup. He knew it. For him, there was no being ‘just friends’ with Jonouchi after the incident. He was just someone where he could never get closure with because getting closure meant admitting something he didn’t quite want to admit. It meant making himself vulnerable to his carefully planned out world falling apart, and he couldn’t have that. He’d have so many people to explain himself to, so much media attention--Mokuba was right. What had happened to him? He was so concerned with what other people thought of him. Kaiba finished his coffee and tossed the cup into a recycling bin. Their opinions mattered because to some degree other people had a say in how Kaiba Corp. would be successful. A heaviness filled his chest. He didn’t think he could go into the building today. Instead, he looked back in the direction of where Jonouchi left and then started for the hospital.


	6. Triple Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...So some real talk. I haven't been able to post for a very good reason. I have bipolar disorder and just recently had an episode that lasted a few weeks. It was long and exhausting, and I felt God awful for not being able to post or write new material. However, here it is now. New post, ready for the eyes to feast upon.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Triple Date

 

He could only gape. There she stood, Anzu in black sweatpants and a pink crop top and jacket. Right at the front counter at the game shop, leaning on top of it and looking at the display. Yugi stood on the opposite side of counter, facing Anzu. He leaned over the glass top as well, beaming widely as he described the effects of a spell card. They hadn't even noticed Jonouchi walk in.

Jonouchi crossed his arms and cleared his throat loudly. They jumped and looked at him. Yugi's eyes were wide, a blush creeping onto his face.

"Gee, Yugi. Wanna tell me why you didn't share with us that Anzu was back in town?" he said and walked toward the small ballerina.

"Wha-well, I… You see-"

Anzu laughed and walked toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed hard. "I wanted to surprise you guys."

She smelled like airport.

"So what's the occasion? Didn't think you had a break for another few months. Nothing's wrong, is there?"

It was Anzu's turn to blush as she pulled away from Jonouchi. She said, "Um, no. I just came to sign the lease on my new place in Tokyo."

Jonouchi's jaw dropped. She endured a fourteen-hour flight just to sign a lease. With the Internet and smart devices, surely that could have been handled without the travel. He eyed her, but she refused to look at him or Yugi for the matter. He smirked but didn't say anything.

Anzu continued with a smile, "I also wanted to hang out with you guys, but Yugi tells me you all have a dinner date with Kaiba. Way to welcome me home. I would have thought that I'd come first..."

"Anzu, you know I shouldn't really cancel on Kaiba and Niko."

"I know you just wanna hang out with him, Yugi," Anzu said. She gave Yugi a soft smile.

Just kiss, dammit, Jonouchi thought to himself. If they were dolls, he would have been mushing their faces together and making kissy noises. His stomach suddenly fluttered, remembering his meeting with Kaiba that morning, how after their banter all he wanted to do was softly kiss his lips. At the time, Jonouchi could feel the nervous energy in Kaiba, and he wondered if he had picked up on his own. Jonouchi bit his lip. He didn't know if he could do this dinner, but he couldn't really cancel without causing suspicion. He watched as Yugi and Anzu began another conversation, slowly forgetting Jonouchi's presence. Then it hit him.

"Why don't you come along tonight? You won't be in town very long, so why not?"

"Jou, she's got to be tired. She just got back this morning."

"Oh, no! I don't mind."

"See, Yugi? Anzu is totally up for it. Maybe Anzu can be your plus one instead of me?" Jonouchi said.

"Whoa. I am your plus one, not the other way around, but," Yugi said, glancing at Anzu and retrieving his cell phone, "it wouldn't hurt to ask Niko if she can tag along."

Yugi typed up a quick message and sent it. A reply pinged on his phone shortly after. His face turned bright red as he read it. He stammered, "She's going to fix the reservation for six."

"Six?" Jonouchi asked. He hurried over to Yugi and took his phone.

Oh? Let's make it a triple date then. Tell Jonouchi to bring a lady friend too!

Anzu also looked at the phone. She blushed too but laughed.

"Lady friend?"

"Shut it, she doesn't know, okay?"

"Well? Who's your lady friend then? Any new beaus that Yugi hasn't mentioned?"

Jonouchi shook his head. He handed Yugi his phone back. He said, "I could probably just call Mai. She wouldn't pass up a nice meal. We've been trying to meet up since the tournament anyway, so it works out."

Anzu sighed heavily. "You know I love Mai and all, but come on, Jou. That's as bad as bringing Tristan along. Are you even trying? Last I heard, you were with an American and now nothing."

He remembered now. Nobody knew about the incident except for him and Kaiba. If Anzu had known, he could imagine her becoming protective and having them drop the plans and going out to a gay bar with Jonouchi-he kind of needed that at the moment, but he felt so embarrassed about how he was feeling. He thought that he was over that crush he had.

"Whatever, I'm gonna go call Mai now." He stepped outside and sat on the stoop. He stared at his phone.

Deep in his gut, Jonouchi just wanted to call Kaiba and word vomit his feelings onto him. What did he expect though? That Kaiba would end his engagement and throw himself into a high-profile, controversial relationship with an old classmate? It felt that way yesterday-his deep blue eyes staring straight at Jonouchi, the same way he looked at him before the incident.

Stop it, Katsuya, he told himself. He was projecting. He must've been. He needed to call Mai and sort this out. He dialed her number. She answered, her voice like molasses.

"Well, look who finally called. Miss me?"

"I need your help."

A pause.

"What's wrong?"

"Can I use codenames?"

"What if I say that I know who you're talking about?"

"I'll ask how?"

"He just got engaged. Come on, Jonouchi, you think I'm stupid?"

"Well...No. I just don't know. Ka-yoko is just giving off this aura."

"Not this again. You're projecting, Jou. You are giving me no new evidence of any spark between you two."

Jonouchi tensed. He imagined Kaiba's lips on his. It was becoming a real drag keeping his secret, their secret. "What if...what if I didn't tell you everything?"

"Then I'd twist your arm until you spilled. Do I need to?"

His throat tightened. "No, but you have to promise me something."

"Hun, you are in no position to make demands."

"Just join me, Yugi, and Anzu tonight. Kayoko's fiancee invited us to dinner and suggested I bring a lady friend."

Mai's high pitched laughter erupted on the other side. Jonouchi pulled the phone from his ear.

"Wanna try hetero tonight, eh?"

"Shut it. I just need support, is all."

There was another pause.

"Well, you promise you'll tell me what's going on?"

"Yes."

"Then okay. Text me the details, okay? Now, tell me about this new stuff."

"Nu-uh. Not until after dinner."

"Fine," Mai said.

"See ya," Jonouchi said.

When they hung up, Jonouchi exhaled. Hopefully Mai would make the entire process more tolerable. He regretted meeting Kaiba that morning. Something about the meeting just made him feel so vulnerable. Nothing happened, but his chest ached for something more to have happened. Because of that, he just couldn't trust himself to keep such a cool head tonight. He chewed on his thumbnail. Why couldn't he have not kissed him that night, buried all his feelings away, kept the status quo?

He just needed to keep it together and convince himself that Mai was right-there was no evidence of a spark, despite how much he felt it in his heart.

Dinner was to be at six. So naturally, Jonouchi arrived with Mai, Yugi, and Anzu fifteen minutes early and stopped by at the bar for drinks. They stopped in their tracks at the sight of Kaiba seated at the bar by himself, sipping at a drink. Jonouchi looked him up and down, finding himself admiring the fit of his suit jacket around his torso and the length of his leg.

Jonouchi jumped at a pinch to his side. He snapped his head to the side and glared at Mai. Stern, she shook her head. He backed down. Was he that obvious? Or was she just monitoring him for inappropriate behavior? Either way, he appreciated it. This was why he needed her, he told himself. His gaze returned to Kaiba's general direction, and he saw Niko's long black hair leaning into the man's side. He did not need to make it awkward with his carelessness. Yugi and Anzu had already approached Kaiba, who had glanced up and locked eyes with Jonouchi briefly, but Jonouchi, wary as ever, found a spot at the edge of the bar. Next to Kaiba, Niko erupted with greetings, cutting into the quiet area.

The restaurant itself was quiet, glowing a soft yellow. Tables were spread out evenly, enough privacy for different groups, beyond the bar. Jonouchi wondered if Kaiba made the restaurant choice. It suited him. It would have been more suitable if they all had a room to themselves, but this wasn't some business meeting. Jonouchi looked over to Niko. She definitely had not chosen this place.

Jonouchi ordered an old-fashioned and stood quietly next to the group. Mai had found her way to Kaiba and was chatting his ear off-the "long time no see", "congrats on your engagement". The drink came to him quickly and Jonouchi closed out his tab.

"Well, we're all here," Niko said. "Shall we?"

She led the group to their table. As they walked Jonouchi found himself side-by-side with Kaiba. He stiffened, trying to quiet his heart. He reminded himself that Kaiba was engaged. His mouth betrayed him.

"It's good to see you not working yourself into the ground. You should really let up on that."

"Over my dead body," Kaiba said with a smirk.

Mai wedged herself between them. "Yeah, Jou. He has a multimillion dollar company. You gotta grind hard to get what you want."

She added a wink to Jonouchi for emphasis. He blushed at the phrasing. Her intrusion cut the budding conversation off successfully. Mai continued sitting between them at the round table. She rested her elbows on the table and placed her chin on her hands. Her blonde hair hung in luscious waves over her shoulder. She turned her attention to Niko.

"You know, a girl rarely gets to meet a celebrity."

Niko laughed. She said, "Mai, I find it hard to believe that you rarely meet any celebrities. You're in so many tournaments-playing the game, MCing it. You've got your own special quality."

There was an awkward silence. At the moment, Jonouchi wanted to ask about Mokuba, but he assumed that this dinner was a means to distract Kaiba from the situation. Still, he was not in the mood to listen to a back and forth of two people stroking their egos. He finished off his drink and waved down a server for another. At the corner of his eye, he saw Kaiba do the same.

Niko leaned into the table, mimicking Mai. "So Jonouchi, I didn't know you were dating the Mai Valentine."

Both he and Mai scoffed and laughed. Mai's laughter unfurled into her high-pitched song. "Me and Jonouchi? Now that's funny."

Niko blushed. "Well, I-"

"Honey, it's okay. It's just. I have met few guys who are as gay as Jonouchi is. You should hear him talk to me about his guy problems."

"Mai," Jonouchi said, wanting the earth to swallow him whole. "I don't think anyone wants to hear about it."

"Oh, no. It's okay, Jonouchi. It's just that I didn't realize," Niko said. "I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's okay, Niko," Anzu said. "No one really knew until we met his first boyfriend. Except Yugi. Jou tells Yugi everything."

Jonouchi accepted his new drink and took a swig, guilt swirling in his stomach.

"Whatever, Anzu. I knew this boy was out for dick when we met in Duelist Kingdom," Mai laughed. Jonouchi felt like she was yelling this now. He sank in his seat. "There were some pretty nice looking guys on that island, and I am willing to bet money that our lil' Jonouchi had a little crush on Kaiba back then."

"Wha-no!"

"That'd be a losing bet, Mai. Those two hated each other in high school," Anzu said.

Yugi was uncharacteristically quiet. Jonouchi glanced over to his best friend, who stared into his drink pensively. He frowned. Maybe they shouldn't have brought up Duelist Kingdom.

"They 'hated' each other," Niko said. She turned to Kaiba. "Seto, I hardly believe that. You two seem like decent friends."

Kaiba said, "Jonouchi and I had differing opinions when we were younger."

"Yeah, that you thought he was a shitty duelist and he felt otherwise," Anzu said.

"Guys, I think we should just be happy that they're not at each other's throats anymore. Right, Jou?" Yugi finally said with a smile. The smile grew a little devious. "Besides, I'm more interested in these stories Mai has about Jou's love life."

"Not you too, Yugi."

"I'm under agreement with Jonouchi. I'd rather not hear about his failed escapades," Kaiba said. He rested an elbow on the table and stared to the side.

"Right," Niko said. She rolled her eyes. "Don't mind him."

As the night progressed, Niko continued to poke for information about their past like an investigative reporter. Jonouchi felt ill at ease, and he could see that Kaiba was drifting farther and farther from the conversations. To be honest, he didn't even feel like he belonged in the conversations. Same with Yugi, it seemed. All of the ladies socialized and laughed while the men sat and feigned attention. He knew what was going on with himself and Kaiba, but what was eating Yugi? He eyed him, but Yugi showed know indication of anything.

Finally, Jonouchi said, "I am taking the party to the bar if you're looking for me," and without a hesitation, Kaiba and Yugi stood and followed him. The three stood at the bar.

"Damn, they can talk," Jonouchi said.

"I would have thought you'd be at home there," Kaiba said.

"Shut it." Jonouchi turned to Yugi. "What's got you down, dude?"

Yugi jumped. "What?"

"I thought we left the table to escape the mindless blathering," Kaiba said as he drank.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm okay. I just need to get outside for a bit."

Jonouchi frowned. Yugi had picked up smoking a few years ago. He imagined it had something to do with some unresolved anxiety from their high school years, but he didn't dig into that. However, he made it clear that he didn't approve.

"You know, Anzu isn't gonna like the taste of ashtray, Yugi." Yugi was already halfway out the door.

"Let him be, Jonouchi. He'll deal with whatever this is however he wants. As long as it doesn't disrupt his game development."

"You're so caring," Jonouchi said. He rolled his eyes.

The two stood there side by side, sipping at their drinks silently. Jonouchi tried to ignore the yearning. Before, they had been able to talk about almost anything. Their relationship since high school had grown that much. Granted, a lot of work was put into it and there were many backtracks. That's what made their situation the more frustrating. They had worked so hard for the relationship-the friendship, Jonouchi correct in his head. He wanted that back at least, and there were some hints that it was coming back. But what if he wanted more, more, more? Jonouchi Katsuya had poor impulse control after all.

His mind drifted to all of the successful relationships he knew of. Did they start of like this? Arms length, tense, pining? He did know of silence and how that played into a relationship though. Sometimes, there was a sharp anger between people, unspoken words of frustration. Then, there was the comfortable silence. When people didn't have to say anything at all and they knew that they were cared for. He eyed Kaiba. What kind of silence did he feel at the moment?

Before he knew it, his head was fuzzy, and the two were shoulder to shoulder. Yugi was nowhere to be found. And a quick scan showed no sign of Anzu. Only Niko and Mai sat at the table now, but they were so engrossed in conversation that pulling them away from each other seemed like an impossible task.

Jonouchi said, "We're going to be here all night."

"Is that a problem?" Kaiba seemed to lean into Jonouchi too.


	7. Unsteady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to my lovely readers! Happy birthday, Kaiba!

Chapter 7: Unsteady

 

The doctor said that Mokuba had blinked while Kaiba was out with the group, and an intense rage filled his chest. He would've been there if Niko hadn't been so pushy about the dinner. He'd be there now, but coming to the hospital nearly drunk seemed like an idea that was far from good. Let the kid rest, out of big brother's watchful gaze. This didn't mean that Kaiba could sleep though.

After Mai and Niko finally finished their drinks and conversation, they paid, and Kaiba dropped Niko off at her home wordlessly. She had tried to reason with him when the phone call with the doctor ended, but Kaiba didn't want to hear it. He felt guilty for even thinking he was enjoying himself while Mokuba was still… Now, Kaiba sat in his study, fiddling with his chessboard. It was solid wood, hand carved. It was one of his prized possessions, one that he rarely used anymore. Niko had no inclination towards games, and he and Yugi focused on business first and rarely had the time to devote to a long game of chess-they had tried, and the game lasted almost two hours. Last time he played was with Jonouchi, and that was a short game. Mokuba had been there.

Flash.

Mokuba laying in bed with a tube down his throat.

Flash.

The shredded remains of the limo.

Flash.

Mokuba, age five, smiling up at him as he hugged him.

Kaiba smacked a chess piece off the board. He should've been there for him. He looked at the time. Midnight. At this rate, he wasn't going to be sleeping tonight. The anger raging inside him shook him, left him feeling like the world was vibrating all around him. He needed...he needed someone. Definitely not Niko. He didn't want to see her for a few days. Isono was out of the question. Yugi would be a good option, but Kaiba suspected that he had his hands full with Anzu in town. He took out his phone and scrolled through his contact list. Mostly business until he stopped at Jonouchi's name. He stared at it a moment, then scrolled through to the bottom. Biting his lip, Kaiba scrolled back to Jonouchi and hoped for an answer as he dialed.

The phone rang a few times, but a drowsy sounding voice answered.

"Kaiba, there better be a good reason why you're calling me at this hour."

"I-sorry."

"Hey...what's going on?"

Kaiba found himself trembling. He didn't know why. He just wanted Jonouchi there. He stammered. "Nothing. Just-"

He stiffened and inhaled. "I need a chess partner. I can't sleep."

He wasn't sure if his voice reflected any of the strength he wanted.

"Sure. I'm heading out the door right now."

"Okay."

"See you soon."

"S-see you."

The call ended. Kaiba tossed his phone onto the table in front of him. He buried his face in a hand, but he pulled away. Tears lay wet in his hand. Fuck. He had too much to drink and now he was drunk crying. He hated his descent into sad drunk. He grit his teeth. Fuck. He'd just drink it out of him. Jonouchi hadn't said when he would arrive, but Kaiba expected he had about thirty minutes. With little grace, he found his scotch and poured himself a glass. He opened the balcony doors behind his desk and walked out, thought better of it, and returned for the entire decanter of scotch. Kaiba placed it next to his feet. The dinner had been a nightmare. Kaiba had no idea what Jonouchi expected bringing Mai, but she loved to draw all the attention to herself and embarrass Jonouchi. Guy problems… The idea twisted in Kaiba's stomach. He had to admit that he felt a little betrayed. How could Jonouchi be able to move on so easily after the incident? How could he just be himself so easily while Kaiba found himself being swallowed whole by the greedy mouths of the corporate life. Gripping his glass, he could only think of how he didn't feel like himself anymore, how he was stuck on autopilot with almost every aspect of his life.

The contents of the bottle slowly emptied and Kaiba could barely stand upright. Instead, he rested his elbows on the balcony wall and leaned, staring down the three-story drop. What would happen if he simply slipped off the balcony? Would people assume it a drunken accident? Kaiba shook his head. When Mokuba woke up and Kaiba was gone, what would the kid do?

Kaiba shoved himself off the balcony and stumbled back, falling on his ass. His glass shattered on the floor next to him.

"Graceful. I don't see how you'll be any fun playing chess."

"How'd you get in?"

"Well," Jonouchi said, standing next to Kaiba, "when you didn't answer your phone after three tries, I called Isono."

"You shouldn't call people at this hour."

"You should talk."

Kaiba raised an arm. "Help me up. I'm drunk."

"I see that," Jonouchi said. He took Kaiba's arm and lifted him. Again, Kaiba could smell cinnamon. How could Jonouchi walk around all day without the smell fading away? What even prompted his choice to smell like cinnamon? Jonouchi walked Kaiba to his desk and sat him on his chair. "Man, just look at you. Did something happen? Is Mokuba okay?"

"Mokuba's fine."

In his head, his thoughts buzzed around, rarely forming a complete thought about what was wrong. Niko. Jonouchi. Mokuba. This black, lonely feeling he started feeling over a year ago. His balcony. How Jonouchi seemed to have moved on and came out so easily, with so much acceptance. His future marriage.

That did it. Kaiba reached for the wastebasket under his desk and wretched into it. He felt Jonouchi rub him between the shoulder blades.

"I got a call from his doctor today. He blinked. They said it was a good sign of brain activity." Kaiba lazily grabbed some tissues and wiped his mouth.

"So...celebratory drinking?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe we can stop by tomorrow. Those Korean dramas always talk about how talking to comatose people helps them find their way back."

"Korean dramas, Jonouchi?"

No response.

"Well, I know we're not drinking anymore," Jonouchi said, his face screwing up in embarrassment. He made to walk over to the decanter, but Kaiba, propping his head up with his arm, reached out and grabbed his sleeve.

"Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere." Jonouchi pulled away and returned. He placed the decanter in the drawer, and he sat in a chair across from Kaiba. He offered a stick of gum. "Now what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Kaiba popped it in his mouth. Cinnamon.

"On the phone. You seemed," Jonouchi inhaled, "down."

Down? Kaiba was far from down. He was pushing forward, standing at the top of the tower he built for himself and Mokuba. Alone at the moment, but still. He had many successful projects out and he had plenty of future projects that held a lot of promise, including Yugi's game. And Niko. He had her.

God, he wanted to throw up again.

"I'm never 'down'," Kaiba said.

Worry creased Jonouchi's face. It shamed Kaiba so much. More so when Jonouchi said, "It's okay to feel down sometimes. We all are sometimes, and right now, you've got a lot to worry about."

"I'm not some pathetic, weeping child. I can handle my own business."

"I didn't say you couldn't."

"Then stop fucking patronizing me."

"Look, I didn't come here for you to start using me as some verbal punching bag," Jonouchi said. His voice was sharp. "I'm just worried."

"You don't need to be-I need some fresh air."

Kaiba stood quickly and walked out to the balcony again. He saw black spots. He had gotten up too fast. Jonouchi's arms wrapped around him before he could fall onto the shards of glass. He straightened him out. He didn't let go, his breathing steady.

"We've talked about this. You, me, and Mokuba. When you get this way, you get upset so easily. I...We don't want to see you hurt like this."

Kaiba stood unmoving, absorbing Jonouchi's presence.

"You're shaking."

Kaiba jolted. He pulled away from Jonouchi. "I'm fine. Don't touch me."

"Geez, sorry. Could you just tell me what's going on?"

"It's nothing. I'm just-" He couldn't think of an appropriate lie. In all honesty, he shouldn't have been complaining anyway. "Just Mokuba…"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Jonouchi looked hurt, but he shrugged. He said, "Well, wanna play some Duel Monsters? Maybe with you being out of practice and shitfaced and with me competing professionally, maybe I'll have a chance. And who knows? Maybe it'll get you out of this shitty mood."

Smirking, Kaiba said, "I could be dying and blind and I would still beat you, Jonouchi."

"There is one condition though, but you have to agree to the duel before I tell you."

"You know I never turn down a duel."

"Good." Jonouchi rubbed his hands together. "With every turn, we ask the other a question that must be answered, The person asking the question has to determine if the answer is a truth or a lie. You know, so we can catch up."

"Fine."

"Really? Just 'fine'."

"You do realize how starved for gaming I've been, right, Jonouchi?"

"Actually, no."

The two shuffled their decks and set them on the table, drawing their opening cards. Jonouchi said, "I'll go first."

He placed a monster in face-down defense mode and a face-down card. Kaiba wanted to roll his eyes. That was one of the more obvious opening moves.

"Now, what do you mean you're starved for gaming? I would've thought that you would be making time for that."

Kaiba inhaled, wishing he could drink from the bottle. He said, "Mokuba's been busy with friends, work's been demanding, and Niko isn't entirely interested in games. What else is there to say?"

"Wait, Niko's not interested in games? Isn't that core to who you are?"

"One question per turn," Kaiba said. He drew a card and placed Vorce Raider on the field in attack mode and placed Dark Bribe face down. "Why'd you bring Mai tonight?"

"She was my only other option. Tristan hasn't been talking to me lately. And I don't really have anyone to bring at the moment."

Kaiba felt better just hearing that, but he said, "I don't feel like that's the whole truth. I'm attacking with Vorce Raider."

Jonouchi did not activate the face down card, and Kaiba destroyed the monster. He said, "Well, you got me. End turn?"

Kaiba nodded.

"My question," Jonouchi said as he drew a card. "What do you two do for fun if you don't play any games together?"

He played another card in defense mode. This strategy was unlike Jonouchi, but he had to think of some answer. Of course Jonouchi would throw in another element to the game while Kaiba was disadvantaged.

What did he and Niko do for fun? He could only remember them going out with her socialites and getting drunk. They went on walks sometimes, but Niko was more of a social butterfly while he was more of a homebody. Kaiba said, "We go on walks."

Jonouchi looked unconvinced and placed another card face down.

"No offense, but I can't really imagine Niko liking the outdoors very much. I'm sure she finds someway to get indoors."

"True."

"So you're not telling the truth." Jonouchi broke out into a smile. "You know you gotta tell the truth."

"Who said that?"

"It's an implied rule. You can't just lie to someone's face even though they know." They froze. Kaiba tried to avoid Jonouchi's eyes. He stared intently at the cards in his hand. Ring of Destruction. Pot of Greed. Saggi the Dark Clown. Enemy Controller. One of his Blue Eyes. Jonouchi sat back in his spot. "End turn. Your question."

They needed something less intrusive. He inhaled. This was all a test. If he couldn't play this game right, then he'd have to end this thing he had with Jonouchi-whatever this thing was. He had already decided that he probably couldn't be friends with Jonouchi, so this was Kaiba's chance for a potentially clean break. If he could just maintain friendship though...

"Guilty pleasure?" Kaiba drew, set two more cards face down, and set a monster card.

"I have never felt guilty about my pleasures," Jonouchi said, straightfaced.

Again, Kaiba felt warm inside at that answer, but he pushed it out of his mind...the incident would not be mentioned. And he doubted that counted.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Why?"

"You are the very essence of shame. Blame it on your parents. Whatever. But you are always walking around guilty about something."

"Not true. Name the last time I did that."

"When you were with Mai earlier. You were a dog on a leash." Kaiba cringed at the word choice, but Jonouchi didn't seem to mind too much.

"Nu-uh. I was with you and Yugi later. While Mai and Niko had the never ending conversation." Jonouchi stretched. At the corner of his eye, Kaiba watched him, eyeing his exposed belly as he did.

"Anyone would get bored with the conversation. Those two can be insufferable sometimes."

"Do you love her?" Jonouchi said suddenly.

"What?"

"Do you love her?"

"My turn wasn't over, Jonouchi," Kaiba said. He idly looked over his cards and ended his turn.

Jonouchi repeated. "Do you love her?"

"Who?"

"Niko. Your fiancee."

"Of course, I do."

"Really."

"Why are you questioning that? We're engaged."

"I just find it hard to believe…"

"Why?"

"Because…"

The incident. Kaiba felt his chest tighten. One-well, two kisses did not mean he was in love with Jonouchi. Kaiba gathered his cards. Well, obviously they couldn't have a normal friendship if Jonouchi was going to play this game.

"I'm done. Get out of my house."

"Whoa. What?"

"You can't just walk into my house and suggest that I don't love my fiancee. Now get out."

"Fine," Jonouchi said. He gathered his own cards and stood. "I'm going to see Mokuba tomorrow just so you know. Probably in the morning."

He started out the study and down the stairs, and Kaiba had the terrifying feeling that he would never see Jonouchi ever again if he let him just leave. That was good, right? No more distractions from his normal life. He could be with Niko. Maybe have a family. Run Kaiba Corp. toward the future. His mind blanked. The sound of Jonouchi's footsteps on the stairs faded.

Kaiba stared at the study's door, not sure what to think, but he stood quickly and ran after him. Jonouchi was at the door in the empty foyer.

"Jonouchi, wait."

What are you doing? Kaiba asked himself.

The blond turned around to face Kaiba curiously.

Stop. What are you doing?

Kaiba did the only thing that he thought felt right at that moment and took Jonouchi by the chin and kissed, feeling Jonouchi's hands creep up his torso and clutch his shirt collar. He felt himself being pulled down, the kiss deepening. The need for air won; they parted. He and Niko hadn't ever had a kiss like that. The thought sobered him up fast, and he sprung away from Jonouchi. The blond looked dazed.

This was the opposite of what he wanted. Kaiba cursed himself vehemently. His future was Niko, not Jonouchi, so he needed to stop letting himself pursue him.

"Forget that happened," he said.

"What?"

Kaiba opened the front door and moved to shove Jonouchi out the door.

"Wait a fucking second, Kaiba." Jonouchi dug his heels into the ground and stared Kaiba down. "You can't just do that. You can't just pretend something like that ever happened."

"We did it just fine before."

"Well, I hated every second of it. I can't do it again. I don't want to do it again."

Kaiba froze at the words, at Jonouchi's touch as he took his cheeks in his hands. He wanted to kiss him again.

"Just be honest. Do you love her?"

They were getting incredibly close to the no man's land. Kaiba felt himself tense defensively. He pulled away from Jonouchi. "Does it matter? She's the most normal relationship I've been in."

"Yes! It does matter."

"I don't need this right now," Kaiba grumbled. "Wanting something doesn't mean you can have it, Jonouchi. There are expectations. Opinions. Investors."

"Wait, you're marrying Niko for Kaiba Corp.?"

"I never said that."

"Sure sounds like it though. Look you need to ease off Kaiba Corp. You're more stressed about it than ever before. If anything, you'd think that Niko was the one that sparked it."

No. This was beyond Niko and the fact that Jonouchi was so caught up in her frustrated him. Why couldn't Jonouchi just butt into the lives of his boyfriends? Not his life. Then he wouldn't have to see Jonouchi and the look he was giving Kaiba at the moment-betrayed. He shoved Jonouchi out of the house and stood at the front door. He said, "Fuck you, Jonouchi. Don't tell me how to run my company, and you-" he messed his hair up with his hand- "and you are such an idiot. If anyone should know, you should know who my stressor is. God damn."

"Yeah. I do know," Jonouchi said, struggling to stand. Wiping dirt off his pants, he glared up at Kaiba. "Give me a break. You're your own stressor. Fuck this. I'll be over to see Mokuba at 9, so stay clear, bastard."

"Whatever, deadbeat. I'll be wherever I want, whenever I want!" Kaiba grabbed the door and slammed it shut. He went straight to the kitchen, rummaged through his liquor cabinet, and disappeared inside his study.

He needed to forget. He needed to get the taste of cinnamon out of his mouth.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt. Sometimes writing about it makes things easier. I promise that things will get better for the characters. This is probably the lower point. I promise. I have not planned any character deaths in this fic.

Chapter 8

Hold On

 

The song that I felt really went well with this chapter is "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet. Give it a listen. Potentially triggering too, but I found it quite good.

I appreciate the readership, but any comments are always welcome!

Jonouchi had seven missed calls from Mai, and laying in his bed, he had no desire to face her at the moment. It had been two days since he last saw Kaiba. As he had hoped, the brunet was not present when he stopped in to see Mokuba. There was no noticeable change, but Jonouchi made sure to talk to him for a few minutes before he left. There actually seemed to be no sign of him at all in the hospital room. No coffee, no briefcase, no dramatic coat hanging over the side of a chair. Jonouchi figured that Kaiba must have been seriously hungover that morning after how much he drank the night before.

He sank into his bed sheets and comforter. Kaiba had sounded so sad over the phone. Even in person, he seemed down despite his attempts to be cordial and his insistent denials. The alcohol hadn't helped, and Jonouchi noted how his drinking habit seemed worse than before. He attributed it to Mokuba's accident...and Niko. He didn't know her very well, but he'd seen her events. So anti-Kaiba that Jonouchi could only imagine him hiding at the bar. Jonouchi gripped his pillow and pulled it over his head. Thinking about that situation gave him a headache.

At this point, Jonouchi was frustrated, even angry, with himself. What had he expected with Kaiba? Especially the other night. He knew that he was engaged. He knew that he had closeted himself and had thrown away the key. What did Jonouchi expect when he questioned a drunk, repressed homosexual of his honesty in marrying a woman? Did he expect Kaiba to confess his feelings and come out? Did he expect to feel his lips on his again? Why not? Everytime Jonouchi saw Kaiba, there was some signal, whether insignificant or painfully obvious, that made Jonouchi believe that he felt something more. Then he'd flip a switch, as if he remembered what he was supposed to be, and keep Jonouchi at arm's length. The switch in mood drove him crazy. He wanted a straight answer. He wanted to have his surly friend back in his life.

His phone brought him back to the moment at hand, his pillow nearly smothering him. It was probably Mai again. He answered. "Mai, I don't feel like talking right now."

"Jonouchi? I'm sorry. It's Niko."

Jonouchi shot up from his bed, feeling his body heat up. He said, "No! I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else."

He frowned. Niko's voice sounded strained.

"Ah, what's going on?"

He heard her inhale deeply over the phone. His pulse quickened. Had she found out about the other night? He braced himself.

"Jonouchi, I haven't seen or heard from Seto in two days. He hasn't been to Kaiba Corp. They said he cleared his schedule and wasn't taking any appointments. He hasn't been at home. And he hasn't been at the hospital according to the staff. I'm worried. I was hoping you knew where he was."

Jonouchi's heart shot up into his throat. Kaiba was missing? He tried to remember the last time he did anything like this, but it was mostly Kaiba Corp. related business whenever Kaiba dropped off the map. Then again, there was an entire year where Jonouchi didn't keep up with Kaiba's goings-on. He said, "I haven't seen Kaiba since the other night." A blush crept onto his cheeks, but he ignored it. He continued. "Have you talked to Yugi? He may have a better idea than I do."

"I've already talked to him. Nothing." Niko sounded distressed.

At this point, Jonouchi was crawling out of bed and pacing in his bedroom. He tried to keep his voice calm. "You know how Kaiba can be, Niko. Don't worry. He's probably off in some secret lab working on his toys."

"But not even a call?"

"I'm sorry, Niko. I just don't know." He brushed a hand through his hair. "I'll keep you posted. If I hear from him or see him, you'll be the first I call."

"Thank you, Jonouchi. I just don't understand…"

Guilt crashed onto Jonouchi like a tsunami.

"I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay."

He hung up and shot a text to Yugi about the phone call with Niko, then went to shower. He came back to a response asking for Jonouchi to stop by at his place. In the pit of his stomach, he knew that he wasn't going to like this. It didn't take long for Jonouchi to arrive at Yugi's, but he was shocked to see Mai sitting on the living room couch.

Yugi shrugged. He placed mugs of tea on the coffee tables. "She said she hadn't been able to contact you lately, but just sit down."

"Yeah, Jonouchi. Sit down," Mai said with a smile. She patted next to her.

"Am I in trouble?" Jonouchi said, trying to sound light-hearted. He sat.

"What? No. I just wanted to ask something…" Yugi said. He looked away from Jonouchi and it reminded him of when Yugi was sixteen, insecure and nervous. "It's kinda personal."

"Shoot."

"Well, um…"

"Come on, Yugi…" Mai leaned over and wrapped an arm around Jonouchi's shoulders. "We want to know if you have anything to do with Kaiba going AWOL. Again."

"What do you mean 'again'?"

"You see, Jonouchi, there was this one night when Isono dropped you off at my place. I think it was last year."

"Yeah, I remember. So what?"

"Do you remember talking to me? At all?"

"Sure. I asked you where your peanut butter was and passed out."

Yugi looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, that's what I told you…"

Huh...Jonouchi remembered specifically talking to Yugi after arriving at his place. His face paled. "I told you about something else, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

Mai looked intrigued. She jostled Jonouchi again. "Is this that juicy secret you were going to tell me?"

"Yeah," Jonouchi said.

"Well? Out with it. You two can't keep having a secret conversation in front of me," she said.

Jonouchi turned to Mai. "We kissed, okay? We were hanging out, and I kissed him and he kissed back and then we stopped talking. Look it was my fault, okay? I had too much to drink and dammit and we kissed last night too and now he's missing."

Mai and Yugi were silent. Jonouchi didn't mean to say anything about the other night, but there it went and he could only anxiously sit and wait for one of them to say something.

"Jou, he disappeared for a week after that happened. He came back looking fine, but he started dating Niko more seriously," Yugi said. Such a Yugi thing to act without judgment and to focus on solving the problem. He never liked unsolved problems. Jonouchi was sure he was going to get an interrogation later. But Yugi continued. "He started drinking more, working more, and sleeping less. Jonouchi, is there any way you could call him? I'm sure you can get an answer from him easier than anyone else can."

"Why? Even though we kissed, it doesn't mean anything more," Jonouchi said, staring at the floor. He remember the glare Kaiba had given him the night before. That was not the look of someone who wanted to be contacted. Especially by Jonouchi. And who was considering Jonouchi's feelings? He was equally hurt and confused at the moment. What if didn't want to call Kaiba? Bull. Jonouchi had wanted to call him the morning after. To talk about what? He didn't know.

Mai sighed loudly. "Geez, Jonouchi. You are so dense. Why else would Kaiba disappear so suddenly? Come on. Any chance he got the other night, he'd look at you, and don't deny how in each other's personal bubbles you two were at the bar. I saw it. You're lucky Niko is just so convinced you two are such close friends."

Honestly, Jonouchi wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about this. He wanted to call him, but he didn't want an audience and he didn't want to have such an important conversation to be had over the phone.

"I don't know. I don't really want to get in the middle of things."

Mai and Yugi gave him a disbelieving look.

Yugi pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Jonouchi, you're already in the middle. You two have been dancing around each other for a few years now, and we've all known. You and Kaiba are just so blind that you couldn't see it happening. And then instead of actually figuring it out, you kept placing yourselves in situations that could lead to some drunken accident and you didn't have any ideas about where to go. Then that night happened and, again instead of figuring it out, you just stopped talking. Now suddenly this has happened again and-surprise-the both of you are avoiding it and insulting Niko in the process. So yeah. I think you're definitely in the middle."

Jonouchi stared at him. "So...you've wanted to say that for a while…"

"God, yes."

They all, almost synchronized, picked up their mugs and sipped at their teas. He hated to admit it, but Yugi was right. He needed to take responsibility of what was going on. Jonouchi gulped down the rest of his tea. But that didn't mean that he should call him to bring him home. What would that suggest to Niko? To the other opinions that Kaiba was so concerned about?

"I'll talk to him. You're right. It just might mean we don't see each other anymore…" Jonouchi looked into his empty mug pensively. "Look, guys. I'm gonna go visit Mokuba. You should visit when you get the time. The doctors said that he blinked the other day. Don't ask how I know. Just go and visit him sometime."

They said their good-byes, and Yugi walked Jonouchi out. He stopped Jonouchi before he left. "Please call him. I know that his relationship with Niko is hard for you, but right now, Kaiba's made his decision."

"Anzu must love that passion," Jonouchi said, sarcastic. "Whatever happened to fighting for what you wanted?"

"I haven't seen any fighting. Bye, Jou." He went inside.

Jonouchi wasn't catching a break. This was the second time he left a guy aggravated with him. He grabbed his bike and pedaled down to the hospital. At this hour, the roads weren't too busy. Most people with normal jobs were shut in. One of the things that he liked about being a sponsored duelist was the freedom. His stomach flipped though. This just made him think about dueling, then the other night. He thought of how he could see Kaiba's exposed collarbones, his deft hands. He wondered how it would feel to actually hold hands with him, but again Jonouchi stopped himself from thinking this. He wasn't going to see Kaiba after their inevitable talk. That was just how it was going to be. This meant no more fantasizing. He slowed to a stop at the hospital and locked his bike up, and he hurried through the hospital to Mokuba's room, only to find Dr. Tanaka checking on Mokuba.

"Hey, doc. How's he doing today?"

"Oh, Mr. Jonouchi. I was hoping you were coming today." The doctor tugged at his dark beard. "Have you been able to contact Mr. Kaiba at all?"

This again. Jonouchi shook his head. "No. Haven't heard from him at all."

Jonouchi moved to get a better look at Mokuba. He seemed paler and occasionally he gagged on the breathing tube. Alarmed, Jonouchi shot a look at Dr. Tanaka. "What's wrong? Is Mokuba okay?"

Dr. Tanaka put a hand on Jonouchi's shoulder. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things are not looking good. Mokuba's lungs have been filling up with fluid. We're been able to relieve some of the stress on him and remove the fluids, but there are signs that they're filling again. This has complicated his recovery. We haven't been able to tell Mr. Kaiba yet."

His blood ran cold. "How? Wasn't he blinking the other day?"

"Yes, but pulmonary edema is a completely separate issue from his consciousness. He took on a lot of trauma in his chest cavity during the accident, and now there are complications to the transfer of oxygen from his bloodstreams. There are two parts working here. His brain and the rest of his body. Mokuba is still showing progress in waking up, but the rest of his body is struggling."

"So you're saying he could wake up, but he may not make it either way."

"I'm sorry." Dr. Tanaka turned away. "I told Mr. Kaiba's fiancee, but she became emotional. I would rather he hear it from someone that can keep their head cool under pressure."

Jonouchi sank into the chair next to Mokuba's bed. He watched as his eyelids fluttered. He felt cheated. Still, the battle wasn't over yet. If Kaiba were here, there would be a more aggressive approach to getting things done. He would have probably been demanding a second opinion, cursing the staff of incompetence. Where was he?

Jonouchi snorted, grabbing his phone. "You little brat...you always have to outdo your brother with the drama. I got it. Calling him now."

The phone rang a few times, and then, "Jonouchi?"

Thank God… He was worried that he wouldn't answer. He said, "Hi… I-We're missing you here. Where've you been?"

Silence.

"Kaiba?" Jonouchi gripped his knee with his free hand. "Seto."

"I've been away to think on some projects," was the stiff response.

"You don't have to lie, but that's not why I called."

"Then why?"

He couldn't read any emotion from Kaiba at all.

"Can we meet somewhere? I wanted to let you know about what's going on. There are some changes in Mokuba's condition. I figured you'd rather hear it in person."

"Okay."

"Where can I meet you?"

"I'm in Tokyo. Meet me at the hotel I'm staying at. I'll cover your train ticket and text you the location. I'll see you."

"Okay, but do me a favor. Start calling some people back. They're worried about you."

It was several hours later, but Jonouchi had made it. The sky in Tokyo was already dark, and the walkways were packed with people going home. The hotel towered many of the nearby buildings. Jonouchi never really liked Tokyo. It made him feel claustrophobic. So many buildings compacted into one area, sprawling outward. So much people, so much that you could feel, even be invisible. At least in Domino there was some space. He supposed that Tokyo was a good choice for Kaiba. In Domino, he couldn't hide as easily.

Duffel bag in hand, he trudged to the front desk. He said to the attendant, "I'm here to see Mr. Kaiba. He said he would let you know to expect Jonouchi Katsuya."

"ID please." The woman held out her hand. Jonouchi gave her his passport, and he was quickly given a key card, "Per Mr. Kaiba's request."

On the elevator ride up to Kaiba's floor, penthouse level, Jonouchi thought about what exactly he had to say. Should he do just as Kaiba had said? Forget that the other night didn't happen? Like last time. Maybe for the sake of Mokuba that was for the best. Jonouchi shifted his weight from side to side. Mokuba...how was he supposed to even start talking about it? Direct. Kaiba appreciated-preferred- directness.

But not so direct that you're telling him that Mokuba may be dying.

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. There was a circular common area with seven doors lining the circumference of the room. He went to Room PH5 and knocked. There was no answer. He had texted Kaiba that he had arrived, so he should have been there. Unless he was going on a binger. Jonouchi dug into his pocket and rang for Kaiba. No answer. He supposed it would be okay for him to enter since he was given a key card. Trying not to look suspicious, he opened the door.

"Kaiba? Yo, Kaiba," Jonouchi said.

Jonouchi entered the darkened unit. At the entrance, there sat Kaiba's phone atop an end table. So he was there. He walked over to the couch at the center of the room. Unoccupied. He glanced around, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. Suddenly, a chill shook him. He found the source. A cracked door. He assumed it was the bedroom. He walked over and knocked softly, the room emitting an iciness that reminded Jonouchi that they were only just now leaving the winter months. Who in their right mind would have an open window at this time of year? Jonouchi entered the room, saying, "Kaiba, I let myself in. Where do you-?"

He stopped, gaping stupidly at the balcony. Kaiba stood on the other side of the railing, gripping it. The CEO stared straight down.

Jonouchi inched closer to him. "Kaiba, what are you doing?"

"Stay away from me, Jonouchi."

"Okay, okay." Jonouchi took a step back. His insides tightened into knots, his head swimming. "You were open to talking about Mokuba today. What happened?"

"I heard enough about Mokuba." His voice cracked.

"What? What do you mean? Sure, things don't look too good, but I think you're being a bit extreme."

Kaiba turned to him sharply, and Jonouchi's heart lunged, fearing that he'd lose his balance. "Extreme? What do you mean extreme? I've heard. I know…"

"Heard what? Kaiba get down from there and we can talk, please."

Kaiba turned back, away from the room. "Mokuba's not going to make it, and I was too busy wallowing to care."

"Wait," Jonouchi said. "Who said that he's dying? There are just complications. Mokuba's tough. He can make it."

"Bullshit, you're just saying that to get me away from the edge. Just let me be. I can't go on like this. At least Mokuba made it all bearable and now I won't have him anymore. I can't do it."

"Kaiba. Seto, let me just call Dr. Tanaka and he can clear things up for you."

Kaiba didn't move. He just stared listlessly downward.

"Please, Seto. You have too many people who care for you."

"They'll move on. They always do."

Jonouchi's heart was racing. This wasn't going well. He took a deep breath. "Do you really plan on jumping?"

"That's the plan."

"What's going on? I want to understand."

"Everything. Mokuba, Kaiba Corp., Niko, you...me...There are never ending projects and I can never just shut down. When I do have a moment away from Kaiba Corp., Niko is there to drag me to an event. Jonouchi, I'm exhausted all the time. And then even before the accident, Mokuba had been more distant. We were fighting more, seeing less of each other. Then just seeing him at the hospital...He's my world. I can't-I can't lose him. He's been the only one keeping me sane the past year."

A year. The incident. Jonouchi wondered if Mokuba knew.

"It just doesn't even stop there. You were right. Marrying Niko is just for public image. She's a good friend, but I don't love her and our interests are vastly different. I don't even feel sexually attracted to her. Even while we were dating, I'd go behind her back for flings. I'd just feel dirty and guilty the next day, and then I'd throw myself back into this thing the two of us were in."

Jonouchi held his breath. Was Kaiba going to come out? Right now?

"And you...I can't...You're...I thought I would get better if I never saw you again. But it only got worse, and then you came back and I was so fucking happy."

"What's wrong with that?" Jonouchi said. His voice sounded funny.

"We can't be whatever this is nor can we be more than this."

His words was a knife stabbing into Jonouchi's heart.

"I'm sorry. This sounds rough. I can't imagine how you were trying to cope all this time."

Kaiba didn't respond. He only stood there, gripping the railing. Finally, he said, "You think we can still reach Dr. Tanaka tonight?"

"Yes. Yes, we can, Seto."

"I want to come in now."

Jonouchi hurried to Kaiba and helped him over the railing. They shut the balcony, and, together, they called Dr. Tanaka.


	9. Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, not as dark as the previous chapters. The aftermath of the attempt.
> 
> Good news for those interested-I'm probably going to write a prequel to this story. The questions of how they got from hating each other to kissing will be answered!
> 
> Comments please! They're always appreciated!

Chapter 9

Therapy

 

Kaiba hadn't slept at all, but neither had Jonouchi. Jonouchi had insisted that he not sleep in the same room that he had just previously thought of throwing himself from, and Kaiba understood. This just meant that he had to sleep on a couch that was too small for him under the watchful eye of Jonouchi.

"I just need you to rest," was what he had said. And Kaiba complied. At the time, he felt far from combative.

But now, as the morning light crept into the room, he sat up, rubbing his sore neck.

Jonouchi, sitting at on the floor with his Duel Monsters cards spread up, looked up and said, "So you're up. Did you get any sleep?"

"No."

In all honesty, Kaiba couldn't sleep with Jonouchi there. He felt too vulnerable now. Kaiba Seto didn't give up. Kaiba Seto didn't take the easy way out. He felt stupid for the night before, how he allowed a single voicemail from Niko to affect him like that. He felt weak, and he didn't want anyone to see him this way. Kaiba Seto wasn't weak.

"Well, how do you feel about getting the hell out of here and back to Mokuba?"

Mokuba...After the phone conversation with Dr. Tanaka, his already festering frustration with Niko had become inflamed. She had completely blown things out of proportion. Kaiba had already decided that he was going to bring in another doctor to handle his brother's care. This had gone on long enough. Things had seemed fine at first, but with Mokuba's recent downturn, something had to change. He had no energy to call them incompetent, but he knew he wanted another set of eyes on Mokuba's charts and records. Mokuba still had a chance. It wasn't the end, and if Mokuba wasn't giving up, he wouldn't either.

Nodding, Kaiba pulled out his phone. He said, "Go get ready. I need to make a phone call."

Jonouchi didn't move.

"What?"

"What do you not understand about me not letting you out of my sight?"

Right, he had said something like that the night before. Kaiba snorted.

"Don't give me that. We can at least brush our teeth and head out. Then we're going to the hospital so that we can get you some help."

"What?" Kaiba knew what he had said. It was more of a challenge for Jonouchi to rethink what he said and try again.

"You heard me."

"And why, pray tell, do I need to get help?"

"Because last night you were about to throw yourself off a forty story building. I don't know what you're thinking that is, but to most people, that's a serious cry for help."

"I don't need help. It's not happening again."

"So you're going to start making changes." Jonouchi crossed his arms. "You're going to delegate more at Kaiba Corp. You're going to rest more, eat more...just take care of yourself better. And you're going to...you're going to end things with Niko."

"No."

"Then how the hell am I supposed to believe you when you say that?" Jonouchi yelled.

Kaiba didn't answer. He didn't have an answer for that question. Instead, he mirrored Jonouchi and crossed his arms. He said, "We'll go to the hospital, but I'm only going for Mokuba. Now let's get ready."

Out of respect, he joined Jonouchi in the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He glanced over at Jonouchi. The blond was blushing. Kaiba finished up and tossed his travel toothbrush into the trash. He said, "Pervert," and watched as Jonouchi stiffened and rinsed his mouth.

"Let's going," Jonouchi said and gathered his cards and packed them away. He secured his bag on his shoulder. Kaiba followed suit. They left the hotel.

When they finally found their spots on the train to Domino, Kaiba slumped in his seat and shut his eyes. He didn't want to talk to Jonouchi. There was truth in what he had said, but Kaiba wasn't "most people". He couldn't just pick up and get treatment for something that could be muscled through. Besides, what would his investors and board of directors would think? That he couldn't handle the stress of handling the company? That just screamed mutiny. He grimaced at the thought of Gozaburo's loss of the company. It had brought out the ugliest side of himself. That man had seriously messed him up.

"I'm sorry," Jonouchi said from out of the blue.

Kaiba opened his eyes and gazed at Jonouchi.

"I only said that because I care about you. I don't know what...we'd do without you. You don't have to do it, but I want you to at least consider it. Really consider it. Think about the people who love you."

"It's not that easy."

"You can always make time for yourself." Jonouchi looked around. Kaiba followed his eyes. Apparently, some passengers recognized them. "We can talk more about it later, but can you promise me?"

"Yes."

"Good," Jonouchi said. That lop-sided grin spread across his face. "So you wanna finish our duel from the other night?"

Kaiba didn't answer. Jonouchi had rightfully assumed that he had brought his deck. His grin grew wider, and he turned to the passengers. "Hey, ya'll wanna see Jonouchi Katsuya and the Kaiba Seto duke it out at Duel Monsters?"

A buzz erupted in the car, and people gathered around them. They both shuffled their decks and drew their first cards.

Kaiba spared a smirk. He needed to set Jonouchi back in his place.

As he suspected, by the time they reached Domino Kaiba had beaten Jonouchi in all three duels that Jonouchi had insisted upon. Kaiba didn't mind. It made the ride go by faster, and he enjoyed watching Jonouchi dramatically throw his hands up. He had almost forgotten that he hadn't showered in a little over a day, two by the time Kaiba and Jonouchi arrived at the hospital. He had already called another doctor, Dr. Sato, to stop in. Dr. Sato had told him that she would probably be there when Kaiba arrived. And there Dr. Sato stood, at the computer reviewing notes, her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose.

"Doctor."

"Good evening, Mr. Kaiba," she said. She offered him a small smile, but he didn't reciprocate. Instead, he walked over to Mokuba and sat in a chair next to him, gazing upon his unmoving form. His breathing tube had been removed, and now a breathing mask remained. Occasionally, he could see his eyes flutter, and his heart would lurch. Mokuba was still fighting. Kaiba took his uninjured hand and squeezed it.

"Per their records, they're doing what they can, but things will be better once Mokuba was awake. He's shown more responsiveness as the days have passed, which is good. We just need to keep trying to get him to wake up. Maybe start having conversations around him or talk to him."

Kaiba shot a look at Jonouchi, who was grinning victoriously at him.

"Though I will say that a cardiac catheterization will be a good idea to see how badly his heart was injured."

"Do it. I don't want to hear about another downturn."

"I'll put an order in."

She didn't leave, and Jonouchi was now looking at his feet.

"What?"

"It's my duty to make sure that all of my patients are well."

Kaiba's heart raced. No...Jonouchi didn't. "We're all okay. Thank you."

"Mr. Tanaka shared some information that I feel is imperative to discuss."

"About what?" He was staring hard at Jonouchi.

"Your recent suicide attempt. I want an evaluation to make sure you are safe to go home."

"I don't know how Dr. Tanaka received that information, but I'm fine. I don't need some evaluation. And I expect complete confidentiality about that."

Jonouchi jumped in. "Kaiba, I see no problem in just a small evaluation."

"You'll need to speak with the in-house therapist, but she is also obligated to confidentiality if that's your concern."

"And if anyone asks, you could just say you were talking about Mokuba-"

"Or I could say it's none of their goddamn business," Kaiba said, pointedly at Jonouchi. The blond's gaze did not leave him.

"Or that."

"Are you willing to have an evaluation, Mr. Kaiba?"

His eyes were narrowed at Jonouchi, but he considered the situation. More than anything, he just wanted to get home and shower. But Jonouchi, for good reason, was watching him like a hawk. If he didn't go home with him, then he'd demand Niko be there with him. And he wasn't ready to see her yet. And he supposed that he could contact his lawyers if anything was leaked about whatever he said. As if he was going to say much.

Drawing a deep breath, he nodded. He said, "Fine. Just to shut the both of you up."

"All right. If you could follow me," Dr. Sato said.

Kaiba stood and walked after her. Before he left, Jonouchi grabbed his wrist. His voice low, he said, "I'm here if you need me."

It was funny. His body released tension he didn't realize he was holding. He nodded, moved to thank him, but thought better of it. The ridiculous impulse to kiss him had come back, and opening his mouth spelled trouble. Kaiba turned away and walked after Dr. Sato. They walked in silence until they reached a dim hallway full of offices. At the end of the hallway was a crack door, light streaming from it. Kaiba swallowed. He just needed to seem like he had everything together. That's all.

At the door, Dr. Sato knocked at the door frame and a woman's voice said, "Come in."

"Hana, I have someone to speak to you if you're willing. I know it's late, but I figured you'd be around."

Dr. Sato entered. Kaiba followed after her. Hana, like almost everyone around him, was much shorter than him. She wore thick framed black glasses. Her hair was bleached blonde. The most interesting thing about her to Kaiba was that she stood without hesitation and didn't balk at him. Dr. Tanaka had done that when he first met him, and he guessed it should have been a pretty good signal that the man wasn't up to the challenge. He accepted her extended hand.

"Hana, this is Mr. Kaiba. I think it's imperative that you speak with him." Dr. Sato turned to Kaiba. "Are you still ready?"

Not really, but he at least felt like he may have been in better hands than he anticipated. "Yes, thank you, Dr. Sato. I will be in contact."

Dr. Sato left, and Hana and Kaiba stood face to face. She motioned for him to come in and said, "Pardon the mess. I am covering for someone. Normally, I don't practice here."

Kaiba didn't care. He took a seat. She took a seat.

"So? Tell me about yourself."

Kaiba scoffed. "You know who I am."

"I know what the media says about you, but I'd rather hear what you have to say."

Kaiba shifted in the couch. It was swallowing him up in its plushness.

"Maybe let's start easy." A click of a pen. "Do you have any family history of medical conditions?"

"No."

She looked up at him through her glasses and scribbled a few words on a notepad. "Then what brings you in today?"

"An overly sensitive friend and Dr. Sato."

"Mr. Kaiba...this will go smoother if you are more cooperative. What prompted your friend and Dr. Sato to refer you to me?"

Kaiba leaned onto his knees, tapping his foot. What to say to that? He looked away from Hana's inquisitive eyes and brushed a hand through his hair. Did he just come out and say what happened?

Hana interrupted his thoughts. "I know that a man of your stature has a lot to live up to. It must be difficult to navigate those waters. How do you cope?"

"How else? I focus on work and Mokuba and…" Jonouchi, but he couldn't say that. He finished with, "And Niko."

"Okay. Tell me about them."

Somehow, Kaiba found himself opening up with Hana pretty well. She would listen, unjudging, and would offer little snippets of conversation, prompting him to continue talking. It felt good to talk about Mokuba in particular.

Suddenly, she asked again, "So what prompted this referral?"

It must have been the freedom to talk that helped him, but he had a bit more confidence in Hana now. He squeezed his hands together. He said, "I was about to jump off the fortieth floor of a building last night."

A beat. And then Hana said, "And why didn't you?"

"My friend Jonouchi came in and found me. He talked me down from it."

"You're very lucky to have a friend like Jonouchi. Do you mind talking about him?"

"I don't want to talk about Jonouchi."

"That's okay. So let's return to last night. What happened?"

"I received a voicemail from Niko, overblowing some news she received from the hospital. She told me that Mokuba was dying and it didn't seem like he would recover." Kaiba didn't elaborate. He was sure that Hana could put two and two together.

"Mokuba means a lot to you."

"He's all I have."

"You have Niko."

"Yes."

There was an uncomfortable pause. Hana said, "Tell me more about your relationship with Niko."

"What about it?"

"Anything. How well do you get along?"

"We're engaged."

"Okay, but you just told me that Niko triggered you to attempt suicide so there must be something going on."

"Fine. We're haven't spoken in three days. And I have no desire to talk to her."

"So, is it over then?"

"Jonouchi asked me that too. Why are you asking me this?"

"Are you angry with her?"

"Well, yes."

"When will you call her then? And is Jonouchi the only one who knows?"

"I'll call her when I'm ready. She knows I'll eventually call."

Hana kept a neutral face. "Do you really think that bodes well for your marriage? From what you've said, you have little similar interests and she frustrates you much of the time. And now you are avoiding her because you're angry. We can talk about coping mechanisms for conflict if you'd like."

Blush crept onto his face. He said, "I don't need new coping skills."

"Mr. Kaiba, I can't help you unless you open up about the things that are bothering you."

"Look, I wouldn't be here if Jonouchi hadn't talked to Dr. Tanaka behind my back about last night. I don't need help."

"Were you angry with Jonouchi?"

"Yes."

"And where is he now?"

"He's waiting for me in Mokuba's hospital room."

"And what's different between Niko and Jonouchi?"

Hana and Kaiba stared each other down. She was brutal where it counted, and he appreciated it; but she cornered him pretty fast. He narrowed his eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

Hana started jotting down some notes. She said, "I'm not suggesting anything, Mr. Kaiba. I just am curious as to why Jonouchi is different?"

He stared at her. The train ride had been pleasant. He hadn't felt the burden of Kaiba Corp. or Niko the entire time. He had felt lighter. He said, "Jonouchi and I have had a difficult relationship. We hated each other before, but now I know I can depend on him when I need him. The entire train ride from Tokyo today, he kept me occupied. Duel Monsters, food, updates on his family, his stupid jokes...I didn't feel like I had to carry the weight of the world."

She pondered a moment. "He seems very important to you. He's been there for you when you've needed it most."

"Yes…" Kaiba said. He shook his head and looked away. "I don't want to talk about Jonouchi."

"Okay. But I think that you just sitting down and being honest with yourself will do wonders."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Why's that?"

"Because people don't know you. A company image that you've tried to maintain for years won't just fall apart. You won't have to face any mockery."

"That seems like catastrophic thinking. What makes you feel that way?"

His throat was tight. He rubbed his arms and cleared his throat. "Because…"

Hana looked at him expectantly.

"Because I'm attracted to men."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trucking. Thanks for reading/liking/commenting!

Chapter 10

See More P. 14

 

"Kaiba Corp. CEO's Secret Affair, See more p. 14"

The words burned into the backs of Jonouchi's eyes. He held the magazine as he stood in line at the grocery. He shook at the sight of the cover photo of a blurry photo of him and Kaiba leaving the hotel at Tokyo. This could not be happening. He opened the magazine to page 14. Another image of them as they walked down the sidewalk together shoulder to shoulder, Jonouchi close.

"Kaiba Seto has a secret beau. The CEO of Kaiba Corporation was seen yesterday morning leaving a hotel with a strapping suitor, who has been identified as Jonouchi Katsuya. Bystanders said that they both looked like they hadn't slept at all the day before and they had a ruffled appearance. Is there something going on? Was Tokyo a rendezvous for their smoking affair? Ito Niko, Seto's wife-to-be, has made no comment.

Others who know the pair have been just as tight-lipped. Reigning Game King, Mutou Yugi, refused to make a comment.

Kujaku Mai was more open. "What Kaiba and Jonouchi have is a close [relationship]. They've been through a lot together, and while they hated each other at first, I really think those two have grown as individuals."

There have been a handful of people that have come forward regarding Seto's private life of other affairs, but few of them had stood up against inquiry. However, the appearance of Jonouchi Katsuya, an ex of American actor Grayson Reeves, and of photos of him remaining close by Seto's side, this begs the question. Is he or isn't he? And does this mean Niko is pushed to the side?

Jonouchi Katsuya hasn't not been available for an interview."

"Sir? You want that?" the cashier said. The old man gestured at the magazine, effectively breaking Jonouchi out of his trance.

This wasn't good.

He handed over the magazine, cover faced down, and pulled out his money, handing it to the cashier. Behind him, he heard a group of women whispering. He looked back. One was pointing directly at Jonouchi.

"Here's your change."

"Thanks," Jonouchi said, gathering his bags as quickly as he could. He hurried to his bike outside and raced down to Yugi's house. He entered the front of the game shop and called out, "Yugi?"

Sugoroku came out instead. "Jonouchi, how've you been?"

"Good! Just looking for Yugi. Is he here?"

"He's been in Tokyo for a few days with Anzu. Signing their apartment lease."

"Oh okay-what?"

The old man jumped and raised his hands in defense. "I mean, Anzu's apartment lease. Don't mind me. Getting old is no fun at all."

"No. You said 'their apartment lease'. Has Yugi been holding out on me? How long have they been? Why wouldn't he say anything? Dammit, and I really needed to talk to him too…"

"About this?" Sugoroku pulled out the very same magazine. He smiled deviously. "Not suspicious at all…"

Jonouchi's phone started ringing. He checked. Mai. He had a few words to say to her. He answered but before he could say anything, he heard, "You have a good roll in the hay?"

"Not funny. It wasn't like that. Nothing remotely close to that happened." A flash brought him back to seeing Kaiba's slender figure against the dark sky, his head tipping downward. "Talk to these people. Please clear this up."

"Sorry, kiddo. Me doing that will only make things worse for you and lover boy."

Tears prickled at his eyes. He wished she would stop suggesting anything like that.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"Have you heard from Kaiba?"

"No. Is that bad?"

"No idea."

Jonouchi growled. "You're being some help right now!"

"Look, Jonouchi. Just lay low for a while-"

"Easy for you to say. I have a tournament next week."

"Well, shit. I don't know what to say."

"That would have been a better response in the interview than what you said." He hung up. His eyes shot up to Sugoroku.

"This will pass, Jonouchi. It always does. You want some tea?"

Jonouchi sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "No. I just need to go home. Thanks, Gramps."

As he pedaled down the road with his bags, Jonouchi felt his chest tighten. How was Kaiba going to react to that? Would he do the same song and dance? Would he tell the truth about what happened? He highly doubted that. And then there was Yugi and Anzu. Their apartment lease. Had he been so absorbed in this thing with Kaiba that he just completely missed it? Surely, there had been signs. He parked his bike, locked it up, and went upstairs with his groceries. His jaw dropped at the sight of Honda standing next to his front door.

"So you're dating Kaiba now?"

"Huh? No. We're not dating."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get inside. It's cold out."

"Uh, yeah."

Eyeing Honda, Jonouchi unlocked his front door and walked in. In silence, he packed away his groceries, hiding the magazine in the utensil drawer. Honda had taken a seat on the sofa and was scrolling on his phone. The room was tense. Jonouchi wasn't sure why Honda had come at all if he was just going to sit there. He cleared his throat.

"What brings you to the neighborhood?"

"Checking to see if you've seriously lost your fucking mind."

Jonouchi bristled at the comment. It had to be this conversation. He said, "No. I haven't. I was looking out for a friend and the tabloids were reaching for a story."

"Friend? No. You and me were friends. Kaiba was an arrogant prick that made your life miserable any chance he got."

"Is this really why you came to see me? To rub this crap in my face? Because I don't take it from Kaiba now and I won't take it from you either."

Honda sighed. He said, "No."

"Then what is it?

"Your mom called me. She wants me to come to Shizuka's graduation."

"So you said no."

"I said yes."

"How am I not fucking surprised?"

"Look, Jou, we need to get beyond this. I'm dating your sister seriously, and I want to be there and Shizuka and your mom want me to be there. I was hoping that you matured enough to get over this."

"Dude, it's not that you were going out with my sister. It's you two sneaking around behind my back. Common decency."

"Yeah. Like with you, Kaiba, and his fiancee."

"That's completely different. Nothing happened between us."

"Is there something going on though?"

"How did this get back to me and Kaiba?"

They didn't speak a word for a moment. Honda stood and walked to Jonouchi. He finally said, "Because Kaiba started this thing. He was the one that embarrassed you yet again at a tournament, and he made sure you wouldn't forget it."

"What does this have to do with my sister?"

"Hear me out. You suddenly got protective of this asshole and was so sensitive to whatever I had to say about him, and you just seemed to get more distant with me and cozier with him. I felt like I couldn't come to you. And then that thing between me and Shizuka happened-"

"We're not talking about that. Ever." Jonouchi blocked the memory from his brain.

"That thing happened, and then you just went ballistic. I couldn't talk to you like that."

Jonouchi took out a box of cookies and started snacking on them, He offered the box to Honda. Then he smirked. "So you were jealous."

Honda blushed. "I'm no homo."

"You were jealous!"

Honda reached over and put Jonouchi in a headlock. "I was not jealous. I just…" He released Jonouchi. "I just felt like I wasn't your partner in crime anymore. You'd moved on to pro dueling and moved, and I was on the sidelines, waiting for the crash and burn that this friendship with Kaiba was and he'd leave unscathed like the robot he is while you had to pick up the pieces. I know that there was something going on between you two-What's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong." Jonouchi rubbed at his eyes. He told himself that there was something in them. He turned away from Honda.

"What happened? Did he-?"

"No, I told you. Nothing between us happened in Tokyo."

"Then what's wrong?"

"You don't know him like I do."

"Well, yeah. But he can't be treating you like dirt. Give me your phone. I'm gonna talk to him."

"No. Honda-we haven't...we're having issues right now, but it's not even that right now."

Jonouchi felt tears streaming down his face. He felt Honda's firm hand on his shoulder, a reassuring tight squeeze, but Jonouchi felt the energy leave his body. He sank to the tile of his kitchen. "You just told me you didn't take shit from Kaiba."

Jonouchi spat out, "He tried to kill himself two days ago. I almost lost him."

"Wait. He tried to what?"

"I went to Tokyo to talk to him about Mokuba and to get him to come back. But he-I had to talk him down from it. That's why I was there, not this bullshit affair. But I don't even know what Kaiba wants me to say. Honda, he was so close to jumping. He wanted to do it so badly."

Honda was by his side, kneeling. "Jou, it's okay. I know that it must've been hard for you. He's okay, right?"

Jonouchi nodded, wiping his eyes.

"So what else is bothering you? Because I know there's more."

Rubbing his hair, Jonouchi sighed. He said, "I can't lose him again, Honda. I don't want to."

"But he's getting married."

"To someone he doesn't love."

"Damn. I'm behind on the Kaiba drama."

Jonouchi snorted. "Yeah."

Honda gave him a long look. He stood and said, "What do you got? I'll cook you some lunch."

"Cooking for me is not gonna make me forgive you," Jonouchi said, smiling.

"Worth a try."

There were people knocking at his door for the better part of the day, so Jonouchi found himself on his bed, texting Yugi. He didn't get into details, but he did make sure to emphasize nothing happened and that Kaiba just really needed a friend. He shut his eyes. Honda had left after one burst of knocks came to his door, and he hoped that they didn't bother him with any intrusive questions.

He hadn't heard from Kaiba all day until the evening, when he received a text.

This complete horseshit. It's just a photo and everyone seems to be extrapolating a suggestion that isn't even there. Your friend Mai really put us in a hole.

That hurt. Jonouchi texted back.

They've been knocking at my door all day. What do you want me to say?

Just deny it, and we were talking about an event for Kaiba Corp. that I wanted you to come to. A pause. Surprise. You're going.

Jonouchi texted, "K."

He wished that Kaiba would call. He wanted to hear his voice, to be sure that he was okay. Kaiba hadn't said a word about the session with the therapist, only dropped Jonouchi and his bike at his apartment, looking pensive the entire time. Gripping his phone tightly, he thought of all the things he wanted to hear from Kaiba. That Mokuba was okay. That he had broken off the engagement with Niko. That he loved Jonouchi-wait, stop. They were not at love. They were just picking up after a friendship. A very close friendship. People who were in love talked deep into the night. People who were in love could spend time with each other without getting tired. People who were in love worried and prayed for each other to be okay, for them to have the best.

Kaiba's name popped up on his phone screen and his phone buzzed in his grasp. He snorted. Kaiba never liked pictures.

He answered.

"What's wrong?"

What was it with people not greeting each other over the phone anymore? Jonouchi rolled his eyes and said, "What do you mean?"

"I've had enough conversations and arguments to know that 'K' is never good."

In all honesty, Jonouchi had no idea what was wrong, but the thought of Kaiba sitting at his desk and receiving a "K" from Niko and then proceeding to put his phone away without any response was hilarious. If anything, Niko had trained him in social interaction. He laughed out loud and said, "Nothing. This is just some shitty timing. How are you doing?"

"Fine."

Jonouchi sat up on his bed and crossed his legs.

"Have you talked to Niko yet?"

"Have you?"

Jonouchi blushed. The last thing he told her was that he would call her and let her know when he got ahold of Kaiba. Then this shit popped up and he was afraid to even try.

"So I'm taking that as a 'no'." Jonouchi smiled.

"We're talking tonight after I come home from visiting Mokuba."

"Ah. Well, good luck."

"I'm sorry for the other night," Kaiba blurted out. "You shouldn't have been there to see that."

And what? Here in the news that he had plummeted from the top of a hotel to his death? He grasped at his bedsheets, squeezing them tight. He didn't know what was worse. Seeing Kaiba on the ledge or waking up one morning to hear that he was dead. He said, "I was glad to be there for you."

The other side of the line fell silent and he thought the call had dropped. But Kaiba finally spoke.

"Thank you. For saving me."


	11. The Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaiba's views on suicide are not my own. If you do feel suicidal, please contact emergency authorities and someone you trust. Don't feel like you are alone, because, my loves, you are not alone.

Chapter 11

 

The Long Day

Kaiba was running late. Taking several days off work meant mountains of work to catch up on, waves of phone calls to make, and wild fires to put out in his building. He just simply got absorbed. That's exactly what he told Niko, and he received a "K". He didn't know what it was today, but he was saying things that people didn't want to hear. He stopped scrolling on his phone, and he stared out the window of the elevator. The setting sun was just above the horizon. It may as well have been night.

That's what it's like to be a boss...He shook his head, feeling wary of the conversation he had with Hana the night before. He oddly felt like a weight had been lifted off him by talking about things. More when he admitted his sexuality out loud, but it didn't change his feelings on where he was at despite Hana noting that people were becoming more and more accepting of the lifestyle. Aside from her prodding the issue of his engagement with Niko, the conversation was...enlightening. He agreed that he was feeling powerless, more so after Mokuba's accident. He agreed that he was not coping with his stress and "anxieties" and "depression" well at all, but medication or an extended hospital stay was out of the question. (The media would love that.) A compromise for not being committed was for Kaiba to respond to random check-ins within ten minutes of receiving them. If she didn't get an answer, she would call two times. And then if she didn't get an answer, she would call Isono. It felt like an impossible task. He had work to do. He had work to catch up on. His life revolved around him blocking out outside distractions and focusing on specific goals.

"Well, you'll have to deal with it," Hana had said flatly.

He was also resistant about talking about Jonouchi. He was just embarrassed with that situation. He thought back to the phone call from earlier. Jonouchi had seemed distant, like he was hiding something. What he hated most was when people lied to him, but karma was a real bitch. Needless to say, he reluctantly scheduled another appointment with Hana for the next week the next town over, though she had pushed back for a sooner follow-up.

The elevator opened and he was met with a few project supervisors waiting for him with files in their hands. The next few days were going to be brutal. He slipped his phone in his pocket.

"Gentlemen," he said as he walked to them. He took the files held out to him.

"Mr. Kaiba, I'm sorry, but if you could review this, we can get started on the virtual game."

That couldn't be delayed anymore.

"And here is a rundown with the new duel disk's performance. It looks promising."

And he needed to definitely review that.

"Mr. Kaiba," a secretary called out. He turned to the desk, making no effort to hide his frustration. "Ms. Ito is on the phone. She's asking if you've left yet."

And then suddenly everyone back away from Kaiba and went about their business. Kaiba cleared his throat. "I'm leaving now."

He left with briefcase in one hand and extra files in his other. He nodded to Isono, and the man hurried to get the car. Any amount of time he could devote to Kaiba Corp. was going to Kaiba Corp. He'd have to visit Mokuba a little later though. Mokuba was, after all, why he focused on the company so much. Kaiba plopped into the back seat and opened his briefcase for his laptop. He placed the extra files in the case and started reviewing a backlog of data from over two days ago.

"Mr. Kaiba, we're here."

Kaiba grunted.

Isono coughed loudly. "Mr. Kaiba, Ms. Ito is waiting for you."

Kaiba's eyes shot up from the computer screen, and he looked out the window. Niko's balcony light was ride had been quick.

"Do you have a present for her, sir?"

"Why?"

Oh, they were going to make-up and get to the bottom of this tabloid situation.

"Best of luck, Mr. Kaiba."

"Thank you, Isono."

He stepped out of the car and headed up to Niko's condo. She answered wordlessly and led him in. She glided across the room and sat down on the couch, cross-legged. Niko normally did this. Waited for the other person to break the ice. He assumed she did it to make him feel uneasy, but it just irritated him. That tactic could have worked on anyone else. Out of the many things he was capable, sitting around in uncomfortable situations was one if them. He followed her into the living room and sat beside her, leaning onto his knees and staring at the white rug beneath his feet. They sat like that for a while until Niko spoke up.

"So we're going to sit like this all night?"

"What is there to talk about?"

"Plenty. Like how you disappeared for three days, no call, no message. Or maybe this thing about Jonouchi in Tokyo with you. That just makes me look stupid."

Kaiba stared hard at the floor. This conversation was necessary, but he also felt stupid about it all. What happened was altogether humiliating. He owed her an explanation. But he didn't want her to feel guilty. He still cared about her after all. First, he said, "There isn't anything between me and Jonouchi."

"Then why was he in Tokyo with you?"

"Jonouchi called and came over to me to make me come back."

"Bullshit," she said. "He could have just called."

She had a point. And he didn't have an answer for that. He hadn't been in the best head space then.

"And why stay the night together? You could have left the day of."

"It was late. I'm positive the last train back from Domino had left."

"Well, then tell me what happened then?"

Kaiba didn't answer. He had quickly realized that he was completely unprepared for this conversation.

"Well, then, answer this for me. Are you gay?"

Dammit.

"Seto? Are. You. Gay?"

Kaiba squeezed his eyes shut. He should have expected that question. He remained silent. His fortitude had been shattered for the past couple of days.

"Oh my God, you're gay." Niko hopped off the couch, pacing around the room. She grabbed her hair and covered her eyes. "Oh my God, I am so stupid. What-Why? Why did you hide this? You could've talked to me about this. We could have not escalated this. Dammit, Seto. Do you realize how stupid this makes me look? I can't believe this. What else? You sing in a J-pop band at night as Jet?"

"I didn't mean to make you look stupid."

"What did you expect?"

Anger biting him, Kaiba spat out, "That I wouldn't have to worry about becoming some pariah, that I could at least try to have a normal life. That I would have someone that was close to me and not worry about being judged."

He shouldn't be angry.

"Well, guess how that turned out. I'm engaged to a gay guy that has been forcing himself to be straight for I don't even know what. And you're..." Niko crossed her arms over her chest. She simply stared at Kaiba. He knew she was thinking of something else to say. "You're not telling me everything. We've been together for a while, and I've gotten to know you, despite this bomb you just dropped on me. What else is going on?"

"I'm seeing a someone," he said uncomfortably.

"Great. A new boyfriend already."

"No. Not like that. A therapist..."

"Oh. Ohhhhhh," Niko said. For a brief second, she looked relieved. She had been pressing him for months to seek one out. Niko seemed to forget about her anger and plopped back down on the couch. As if it were instinct, she took his hands in hers. "For how long? How do you feel about it?"

"I just started...yesterday."

"Did Jonouchi ask you to do it?"

"No, but he got my doctor to harass me into it."

"How?"

Niko's hands squeezed his. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Saying it aloud to someone who wasn't a professional made him feel weak. He could feel himself shaking.

"Seto? What happened?" Niko turned his head to face hers. She stared deep into his eyes, and Kaiba couldn't handle it. He couldn't lie to her anymore, but he was so ashamed. Suddenly, her arms were wrapped around him. She murmured, "I may be pissed as hell, but I still care about you. Please. I hate to see you hurting."

That seemed to help him. He believed Niko. She was an honest person and respected his need for discretion, but he still couldn't tell her. Drawing a deep breath, he exhaled, "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What can't you do?"

"Pretend."

"Seto," she said and took him by the shoulders. "You don't need to pretend to be something you're not."

"It's not that easy."

"Bullshit. Anyone who has something to say about it has to answer to me. And a lot of your other friends too. Besides, you're fucking Kaiba Seto. Nobody tells you what to do and who to be."

He wished that were the case. She looked discouraged. Releasing him, she sighed. "I'll keep the ring. If you're that resistant, we could at least be in an open marriage. I want you to think about it though. I'm almost positive you've talked about this with your therapist. I wouldn't be surprised if they told you the same thing. Stop pretending. You say you can't do it anymore, then just stop."

Kaiba still told himself that it was an impossibility. He stood, and they walked to the front door. Before she opened the door, Niko turned to him suddenly. She inched close to him, her hands touching his chest. "Is it okay if I…? You know, just in case you…"

He saw tears in her eyes. Wiping them with his thumb, he nodded, and Niko stood on her tiptoes to reach his lips. They kissed briefly, and Kaiba left.

As he exited the complex, he waved Isono over, and the car eased up to him. He got in the car. There were two things that he wanted. He wanted to see Mokuba. He needed to make up for lost time. His tests had gone well, and now it was just waiting. Kaiba hated waiting. The other thing he wanted was to see Jonouchi. No...he needed to see him. He had no idea what to say. The problem was that he knew he would do something stupid again. There was something about Jonouchi that made him want to act on his desires. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't want to bother Yugi still. He pulled out his phone and stared at Hana's contact information. He sighed and dialed.

"Hello, Mr. Kaiba. Have you been well?"

Not really, but he said, "Yes, thank you."

"What do you need?"

He sighed again. "Can we meet tomorrow?"

"I can fit it in my schedule. Did something happen?"

Kaiba hesitated. He looked over to see if Isono was paying attention. He was careful. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you were so adamant that you'd be fine for the week."

"Well, things change," he said, agitated. He pulled out his laptop and brought up his calendar. After a single day of being back, it had filled up. "Now, when are you free? I'll make time."

He took note of the time and saved it onto his calendar. It was just before his scheduled sleeping time, which was a bother, but he needed to talk to Hana before he even spoke with Jonouchi face to face. They bid farewell, and Kaiba shook his head and said sharply to Isono, who kept throwing glances back at him, "I'm seeing a therapist. Now stop being so damn nosy."

"Yessir."

They arrived at the hospital close to a half past eight. Isono parked as Kaiba trudged up to his usual spot, work in hand. The night before, they had brought a cot down to him. He was probably going to use it again tonight. He entered the room. It was quiet except for the ECG's beeping. He sat next to Mokuba, touching the younger Kaiba's head gently. Then he broke out his work, though he only worked half as fast as he normally did. He kept finding himself becoming easily distracted. One second, he was looking at the progress of Kaiba Land's newest roller coaster. Another, he was watching Mokuba. Another, he was scrolling on his phone, hoping like a lovesick puppy that Jonouchi would contact him.

Pushing the tray with his laptop on it, Kaiba slouched in his seat. What was he going to do? He couldn't come out. No. He just couldn't. He thought about Niko's suggestion. An open marriage. It was unconventional, but less scandalous than him outing himself. What if she found someone though? Niko had wanted a family, a stable home life, and a husband that found her delightful and desirable. She wouldn't get that with him. And then whoever he ended up with

(his cheeks burned at the thought of Jonouchi)...what would happen if they found someone else too? An open marriage was selfish, but coming out was terrifying.

And then Niko. She had been heartbroken and betrayed. Did his worthlessness have no bounds?

"Mokuba, I could really use you here right now," he said, leaning over and holding his brother's hand. "I'm lost without you, and I just want to tell you how right you were. I wasn't happy, and I'm still not happy. I'm actually miserable, and I need you. I don't know what I'm going to do about Niko and Jonouchi. About myself. It's far from an emotional love triangle. It's a question of convenience and want. I've told you already that Niko was easy to get along with, likeable, and accessible. She's convenient. A good way to hide who I am. But I'm so tired of pretending and with Jonouchi back in my life, want is overshadowing convenience."

He growled. "I thought I could get over it and be with Niko, but I had to pretend so much. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I still don't. And I'm scared of what changing things will do to our lives."

He tightened his grasp on Mokuba's hand. "Sometimes I just wish Jonouchi let me jump."

For a half hour, Kaiba sat there, wallowing in the shame he felt. Finally, he opened his eyes only to meet a pair of gray eyes looking back.

Kaiba jumped back, startled. His heart was beating a mile a minute.

"Mokuba?" he breathed. He grabbed the remote to call the nurse.

His brother raised his arm and gave him a thumbs up. A weak smile was on his lips. Kaiba couldn't breathe. Mokuba was awake. He hoped that this wasn't a dream.

A nurse bustled in and stopped and stared. "Oh my God. Mr. Kaiba, let me bring the on-call doctor in to do a check-up. Honey," the nurse said, looking at Kaiba, "do you need anything? You look pale."

"I'm fine," Kaiba said, though his entire body was now screaming. God, Mokuba was awake. He told himself to keep it together. "Just get the doctor."

After the doctor checked on Mokuba, Kaiba was a ball of energy while Mokuba was exhausted again. Kaiba squeezed Mokuba's hand. He said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

If he stayed, he would only bother Mokuba.

Briefcase in hand, he stepped out in the cold in high alert and started down the sidewalk. Isono had been sent home already. It had been a while since he used public transit, so he figured it would be a side quest. He pulled his phone out to check the time. It was eleven. He had to tell someone about Mokuba. The only person he could think of was Jonouchi. He called him and he soon found himself at Jonouchi's front door. Kaiba stumbled forward, legs weak.

"Whoa. Take it easy. Have you been drinking again?"

"No," he said as Jonouchi helped him onto the couch. "It's been a long day. I wanted to let you know that Mokuba woke up today."

He watched Jonouchi jump in surprise and then smile his lopsided smile. "No way! That squirt's gonna definitely get a visit from Jou!"

Jonouchi's voice sounded faint now. Kaiba's heart was racing and he started to feel the shameful tears streaming down his cheeks, the trembling as he struggled to breathe. It was too much. The day had been too much, and there was more to come and Kaiba had to face them. He felt a hand on his back and Jonouchi's encouragement for him to breathe. He leaned into Jonouchi and suddenly their lips met each other. Soon the kisses traveled down Kaiba's neck and Jonouchi was straddling him, untucking Kaiba's shirt, but Jonouchi sat back suddenly.

Kaiba, disappointed, propped himself up with his elbows.

"This isn't right."

"Don't worry about Niko." Breathless, Kaiba tried to pull Jonouchi back down to him by the shirt.

"No...It's not just her."

"Then what?"

"You're...vulnerable."

"Don't start with this," Kaiba said and rested an arm over his head. His erection pressed tightly in his pants, and he knew Jonouchi wanted it too. "I don't need another therapist."

"I just want whatever this is to be...tainted."

Kaiba stared at Jonouchi. He didn't understand how it would have been tainted, but he respected his wish.

"That being said, I think you should get going. I don't think we need to cause more drama with you leaving my place in the morning doing the walk of shame." Jonouchi stood and smiled. "Get going. But text me when you get home."

It was one o'clock. He needed to call a cab. As he headed downstairs, Kaiba pondered on what had just happened. Did Jonouchi think he was taking advantage of him? Surely, not. Kaiba, over the past several days, made it quite clear that he was interested. So there wasn't a problem if something happened. He sighed and entered the cab that was waiting for him. Was he just damaged goods now? Had the other night just turned Jonouchi off to him? Why not? Suicide was cowardly and weak. His hands clutched his pants. Nobody ever wanted that kind of baggage. He settled in and rested his forehead on the window, feeling the cool glass. It had been a long day.

His phone pinged. He checked the message. From Hana: "Check-in. How are you?"

He typed, "Fine," and sent it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mokuba's back in a speaking role!

Chapter 12

This Doesn't Qualify As a Rom-Com

"This sounds far from being not involved. Were you even listening to Yugi the other day? Are you even trying, Jonouchi?" Mai said. She took a bite of her ice cream and bopped Jonouchi with her shoulder.

It was a cold day, so Jonouchi questioned why ice cream sounded good to her. Originally, she had wanted to go to a shoppe, but when Jonouchi pointed out they were going to talk about his dysfunctional love life, she sighed, resigning herself to her ice cream she had bought to hold her over in her hotel room. She lay on her stomach, casually eating her pint of ice cream, as Jonouchi lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"What has Yugi have to say about this?"

"Haven't told him. Still in Tokyo with Anzu."

"Well, we all knew that was gonna happen. But you should at least text him. He's a reasonable guy. He'll know what to say to get your mind out of the gutter."

Jonouchi didn't want his mind out of the gutter. The connection between him and Kaiba, though agitated by heightened emotions, had been much stronger. Until he realized he hadn't heard from Kaiba in three days. He regretted not letting him stay the night, but there was too much that could explode in their faces if that had happened.

"Hun, it's Kaiba's decision, and you sticking your tongue down his throat isn't making it any easier."

"Geez, I knew I shouldn't have talked to you."

"I'm just being real, and since you have no one else to talk about this to, you're stuck with me."

She was right. Jonouchi sat up and crossed his legs. He tapped on his knee and then looked at her. "Maybe he's busy. With Mokuba being awake now and him having to catch up on work, he must be busy."

"You sound like such a girl, Jonouchi. Leave him alone. He'll get his shit together. You just have to let him."

She was right. Again. He sighed and took her spoon, scooping a chunk of ice cream out of the container and shoving it in his mouth. He swallowed and said, "I guess. I just get the feeling he's avoiding me. He hasn't been in whenever I visit Mokuba, but I could've sworn I've seen Isono. Did I screw up?"

Mai snatched her spoon away. A frown creased her face. "And what could you have possibly screwed up, Jonouchi. It's not like you haven't kissed before…" A sigh escaped her in realization, and she jabbed her spoon into the container. "I swear, whenever Kaiba is involved you become even more of an idiot. Do you honestly think that he would just be in it for a hook-up? God, Jonouchi. Look, let's stop talking about Kaiba Seto and go visit mini-Kaiba. You said it yourself that your amore has been avoiding you. He will probably want to hide away with how you've been harassing him lately."

Rolling off the bed, Mai reached for the mini-fridge and shoved her pint into it. She stood, smoothing out her clothes.

"Shall we?"

Jonouchi nodded and stood. "Hopefully I won't be pounced on about Kaiba."

They left the room. She said, "You've brought that upon yourself."

Jonouchi felt his eye twitch. Nothing had happened in Tokyo. Well, something did, but it didn't relate to the media coverage. He suspected that Kaiba was more relieved with this imaginary affair being the talk of the town rather than his attempt on his life. They walked along the hotel hallway and rode down the elevator to the lobby and out to the street. Mai waved flirtatiously at a valet, and they both watched as the man ran off after grabbing her keys. Jonouchi still didn't know how Kaiba was doing. The last time he saw him, he had broken down (out of relief?), but that wasn't a good measure of anything. He had tried to kill himself about a week ago. Nobody recovered that fast from that kind of thing.

The valet returned with Mai's car, the top up. She handed him some yen and winked, thanking him. They rode in silence.

What if something was wrong? He shouldn't have left him alone after that night. Was he planning? No, he wouldn't. Mokuba was awake now, his condition slowly improving. That had been the tipping point, and there was nothing else to worry about that would push him to that place again.

"Could you stop worrying? You're making me nervous."

Jonouchi apologized.

When they reached the hospital, Jonouchi did a general scan of the parking area for any sign of Isono or the limo. Nothing. He tightened his coat around him and followed Mai. He wasn't expecting to meet his piercing blue eyes in the hospital room. He felt his face turn red. Kaiba sat at his usual spot, work stacked neatly as he finished each task, coffee-probably cold-at his elbow. But something was different. It was clear that he hadn't gone into the building. For one thing, he wore a sweater and jeans and Jonouchi had never known Kaiba to ever own a pair of jeans and he doubted that Kaiba wouldn't let himself be seen at the office wearing them. For another, his laptop was shut, his body turned toward Mokuba, who stiffly turned his head. The raven-haired teen smiled as widely as he could. This was the first day that Mokuba hadn't been knocked out with painkillers whenever Jonouchi visited. The was an awkward silence between the group.

"Jonouchi, long time no see." His voice was raspy.

"Awkward," Mai muttered behind him.

"Sup, man? Got your battle scars to show the ladies, right?"

"Funny," Mokuba said in the typical dry Kaiba kind of way. He sounded especially like his brother with the rasp.

"I'm gonna take a walk around. I don't want to crowd you too much, kiddo." Mai dipped out.

Kaiba looked around Jonouchi, shooting a glare. Jonouchi chanced a glance to see Isono looking up at the ceiling. So he was avoiding him. Jonouchi's heart sank. He screwed up. Kaiba's phone started ringing.

"Sorry, Mokuba. I have to take this," Kaiba said, and he quickly exited the room.

Mokuba stared after Kaiba. When the door shut, he looked at Jonouchi. Concern was all over his face. "Is Seto okay?"

Jonouchi sat in the now-vacant seat, taking care to move the coffee cup to the floor where it couldn't be kicked. Kaiba wasn't going to be drinking it. Jonouchi shrugged. "He hasn't spoken to me for a while. I'm sure it's just that he's been pretty worried about you. It's been a close one."

Mokuba's eyes softened. "Okay. It's just...something he said the other night, when I woke up…But I'm sure you're right. It's good to see you and him in the same room again. Isono told me that you two were actually hanging out again. Maybe I should get into more life threatening accidents." He laughed and then cringed, his uninjured arm wrapping around his chest. "Ouch…"

"I'm sure Mr. Kaiba would prefer you not to," Isono said, stiffly.

"I'm just joking." A pause. Mokuba gave Jonouchi a careful look. "Is he still with Niko?"

"Yeah." He tried not to sound disappointed. "Engaged too."

"Oh."

"He hasn't said anything?"

Kaiba entered the room and stopped at the sight of Jonouchi in his spot. Jonouchi shot up from the spot.

He kicked over the coffee.

He reached over to grab some paper towels.

He slipped and hit the floor.

"How is it that you always seem to make a fool out of yourself no matter how sober you are?" Kaiba strolled over and grabbed some paper towels for Jonouchi. He held them out. "You should have just left it there."

Grumbling, Jonouchi mopped up the coffee next to Kaiba as Mokuba said, "He was just looking out for you, Seto."

Jonouchi eyed Mokuba. The teen was grimacing, and he saw Kaiba sneak a press at the nurse call button.

"Oh! Jou, they told me I can go home in another week. I'll have physical therapy and be in a wheelchair for a while, but I think I might be able to make it to the Setsubun festival next month. Right, Seto?"

"We'll see what the doctor says when the time comes."

"Maybe Jonouchi can tag along."

The nurse came in and smiled at Mokuba. "It's about time for your medicine, Mr. Kaiba."

Mokuba's eyes shot daggers at Kaiba. He cleared his throat. "I can push through it. They always make me sleep."

Jonouchi laughed from the floor. "It's no big deal. You gotta get your rest. Wouldn't want you to miss the festival, am I right?"

The nurse handed a small cup of pills to Mokuba, and he downed it with some water. She left, leaving Isono, Jonouchi, and Kaiba with Mokuba.

"Isono, go have a second to yourself. I bet my brother has been moody for the past week and a half," Mokuba said. Isono nodded and sidled out the door. Mokuba turned back to Jonouchi and Kaiba, and Jonouchi felt uneasy with the irritated expression in his eye. "What's been going on?"

"We've been obviously visiting you, Mokuba," Seto said.

Jonouchi stifled a chuckle.

"You know what I mean. You two have been acting weird since you walked in the door, Jonouchi. So what gives?"

Jonouchi looked up to Kaiba, who looked down at him and slowly said, "We just didn't expect to see each other."

"Are you two still on about this feud from last year-" Mokuba yawned, his eyes drooping. "Isono told me things seemed better, even great, between you two."

"He said that, did he…" Kaiba's jaw was clenched. Jonouchi did not want to be Isono later.

"Yeah, but all I'm seeing are two guys dancing awkwardly around each other." He rubbed his head. "I mean do you think I'm blind? I've seen the tabloids. Were you really talking business? In Tokyo of all places?"

"Yes," Kaiba and Jonouchi said immediately.

"Don't give me your media face, Seto. Are you two or aren't you two?"

"God, I thought the meds were supposed to put you to sleep," Kaiba said. Jonouchi hid a smile as he stood up next to Kaiba. It was always fun to see him engaging in normal sibling conversations. He suddenly realized how close he was to him.

He jumped in. "Mokuba, you're working yourself up a bit. How about we sit back and relax?"

Growling, Mokuba leaned back. He was clearly exhausted, but the medicine was agitating him. He said, "It's complicated. I get it. So when are you going to break things off with Niko?"

Now the meds were talking, Jonouchi figured. He tossed a glance at Kaiba, who crossed his arms and said, "I have yet to decide."

That was all Kaiba had to say to rocket Jonouchi to cloud nine.

"The sooner, the better." Mokuba grinned, but he was already sinking into the mattress, eyes struggling to remain open. "I think you guys make a cute couple."

"You're delusional, kid," Kaiba said. "Go ahead and get some sleep. I'll be here for a while."

"Sounds good…"

The two watched as Mokuba switched off and snored softly. Kaiba chuckled next to Jonouchi. It made his heart race. It had been a while since he heard that chuckle.

Jonouchi shifted uncomfortably. He said, "So. I spilled your coffee."

"Yes, you did." Kaiba was still watching Mokuba.

"Wanna go to the waiting area and grab some coffee?"

Kaiba looked to Jonouchi, staring at him as if he was trying to figure something out. Finally, he said, "Sure," and he stepped out of the room. Jonouchi had to rush after him. They left the unit and found the coffee pots. The room was empty. Maybe Jonouchi could clarify things. He stirred a packet of sugar into the styrofoam cup, watching as Kaiba took his coffee black. He sat at a table. Kaiba stared at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying a change in scenery. The kid's knocked out. He's not going anywhere." Jonouchi gestured at the seat in front of him. "Join me?"

"Fine."

They sat in complete silence. Kaiba sipped at his coffee. Jonouchi sipped his, struggling to find words.

"He probably won't remember what he was saying," Kaiba said. "So let's not mention it again."

"I don't understand."

"Mokuba doesn't need to be in the middle of our mess." Kaiba inhaled and exhaled, "I'm breaking things off with Niko. We're going to keep it quiet, and let people gradually find out. We haven't burned any bridges, so it'll be easier to do that. It's for the best."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I've talk to Hana. I think I need to stay out of media attention for now. Keep things private now that I don't have a social butterfly as a girlfriend. Hana suggests that I try to be uncomfortable, do something new."

Jonouchi slapped his knee and laughed. "But you're always uncomfortable."

"No, I'm not. It's call stoicism," Kaiba said. Jonouchi saw him hide a smile behind his cup. "I've been told that I must be very comfortable with myself to have my fashion sense. I'm not sure if it's a rib or a compliment."

"Oh, totally a rib."

"You can be so insufferable sometimes." Still a smile. Jonouchi blessed the maker for his luck talking to Kaiba that day.

"Uh-huh." Jonouchi rested a cheek on his hand. "Well, any ideas on what you're going to do?"

He watched as Kaiba pondered for a moment and then shrugged. The brunet said, "I'm open to suggestions."

Date me, was what Jonouchi wanted to say. But that was too forward. But looking at Kaiba, there was some expectancy in his blue eyes. He wanted to give him whatever he wanted if only he would speak out. Jonouchi took a sip of his coffee, then tapped a finger on his chin. "Pick up boxing?"

"I'm not going to be the next Million Dollar Baby, Jonouchi."

"Million Dollar Baby?"

"American cinema. It's about boxing and the boxer in the story dies."

"Way to spoil it for me."

"You probably won't watch it even now."

"Well, now I'm interested. What if I wanted to watch it with you? There you go. Dive into cinema."

He caught a furtive glance from Kaiba. He was being strange.

"Too sedentary?"

"Yes. If I can have a moment of not sitting, I'd rather take it. I spend enough time behind a desk. You wouldn't understand though, I bet." It was more of a challenge for Jonouchi to rise to the bait. "Are you ready for the tournament this weekend?"

Jonouchi perked up. "Ready and rarin' to go. I'm probably gonna go through my deck again the night before though. Not gonna pull the extremes that Yugi used to and stay up all night. Just for sake of it. I know! Get back into the dueling circuit."

"Not practical. Kaiba Corp. has expanded a bit too much for me to take extended weekends off. It wouldn't be much of a challenge anyway. I beat the East Asian Championship winner three times the other day," he said with a smile.

"Shut it. I let you win."

"Then you've been letting me win for years now. If you're trying to get me to like you, that route hasn't been successful and won't be."

"I don't know," Jonouchi said. He stretched, winking at Kaiba. "From where I'm sitting, I see someone that likes me just fine."

They sat awkwardly. Jonouchi moved on.

"I don't know, Kaiba. There are so many options. People take up different hobbies. It just kind of depends on your personality, which was why I suggested competing again. But if you just want a list of hobbies...Let's see...Gardening, sailing, kayaking, marathoning, knitting, cooking, skydiving-" Jonouchi shut his mouth fast, but he could see Kaiba's eyes widen and then narrow into a sharp glare. "I didn't mean to-"

"I'm going back to Mokuba. Enjoy the rest of your coffee." Kaiba stood abruptly, the chair legs scraping on the floor, and he stormed out after throwing his cup in the recycling bin.

Jonouchi sat alone now. He held his head in his hands. "Dammit."

Just as he was worried about, Kaiba was still sensitive about what happened. Even more so, he was so guarded about it that he even wondered how much he got into the details with his therapist Hana. He was probably paranoid about it getting out and Jonouchi understood. Most people looked down on others who attempted suicide. Kaiba was probably concerned about his image, though clearly with just a few visits with Hana he seemed to ease off on public image so much. Something she had said must have convinced Kaiba to end things with Niko. He wondered what she said.

There was a knock on the door frame to the room. Jonouchi looked up to see a solemn Mai. She said, "Kayoko was not looking happy when I ran into him. It looked like he was going to flip his shit. What'd you say?"

"Thanks for being so reassuring." Jonouchi rested his arms on the table. "Can we get more ice cream?"

"Sure, hun."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting in another trigger warning for suicide. Sorry, guys. Not graphic. Very short.

Chapter 13

The Binger

Kaiba stared up at the ceiling of his study. He had one foot propped up on the arm of the sofa and the other firmly planted on the ground. If he didn't move, he wouldn't vomit. His decanter was empty, and a fresh bottle of scotch sat just out of reach. He had taken the day off, but he had had no energy to get out of bed. So visiting Mokuba wasn't going to happen. He figured he was sick at the time and had wanted to prevent Mokuba from catching whatever it was. It was like many of the days when he had to call in during the past five years. He was tired, couldn't feel anything, and just ached all over. The night before, he hadn't even changed out of his day clothes. He hadn't bothered today either.

To treat the pain, Kaiba hid away in his study to drink and take the edge off. Taking the edge off led him to thinking about the hotel, and he just wanted to forget it. He wanted to move on, but the more he tried to forget, the more ashamed he felt. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was thinking about it again. The gust of air as he hung at the railing, the freeing feeling. The icy bite as he inhaled.

And then fucking Jonouchi. Fucking skydiving. Was that supposed to be a fucking joke?

Frustrated, he reached over and grabbed the bottle of scotch and poured. He had other options if he wanted to kill himself, not just throwing himself off a building. Pulling himself to an upright position, he took a sip from his glass. His phone had been pinging. Multiple texts from people. There were plenty from Jonouchi and Yugi. Some questions from his office assistant. And then a check-in from Hana just came in. He hadn't answered a single message from anyone, and here she was contacting him. He did send Mokuba a text to let him know he couldn't come that day. Hitting 'send' made him feel like a worthless piece of shit. He swore off touching his phone until he was no longer worthless. Maybe after a few more drinks. He had then tossed his phone on his desk and made the sofa his 'work space'.

Swaying in his seat, he tugged at his pendant. He flipped it open and stared at Mokuba's young face. Thank God, he was okay and improving. It would have been a nightmare having lost him. He was the brother, out of the two of them, that would really make a positive impact on the world. He heard his phone ring several times, but he made no move to pick it up.

Maybe Mokuba would even be a better CEO of Kaiba Corp.

Again the phone started ringing. He sighed loudly and stood to grab his phone from his desk. He tripped and fell on the glass decanter. Swearing, he pushed himself up, glass cutting into his hands. He sat up, his hand wrapping around a larger piece of broken glass. This must have looked pathetic.

He was too weak. Everyone would be better off without the extra baggage.

His phone stopped ringing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make a PSA. As a licensed teacher, I was required to train in youth mental health. The training focused specifically on suicide. Additionally, I have my own experiences with suicide to inform my approach as a teacher.
> 
> Suicide is something that doesn't easily go away. It lingers and eats away at you if left not properly treated. One key thing in the training is that if someone attempts suicide and lives, they have any even higher probability of committing it again. If you know someone who is suffering for suicidal thoughts or are experiencing them yourself, seek help as soon as possible. Call the suicide prevention line in your country. Call your therapist. Go to the emergency room. I know it's hard at the time to do anything, but things get better. You are worthy of life. You are valuable.


	14. Mokuba Part 1

Chapter 14

Mokuba

Sorry for the month-long wait!!

"Where is he?" Jonouchi demanded the front desk staff.

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Seto. Kaiba Seto. The guy that's been visiting his brother almost every single day since Kaiba Mokuba's accident. That guy."

"Sir, please calm down. Are you family?" One brave nurse stood and waved Jonouchi over.

"No. I'm a friend."

"That's okay," she said. "There are people waiting for him over there."

She gestured to a side room. Then she pulled a clipboard out, pen at the ready. "What's your name?"

Jonouchi gaped.

"What's wrong?"

"I just didn't think it would be that easy. How do you know I'm not the press?"

"You're that guy in the magazine with him. From Tokyo."

Great. Jonouchi rolled his eyes. If they read that, then they should have known his name. Impatiently, he said, "Jonouchi Katsuya."

The nurse scribbled his name down onto the clipboard and walked him to the waiting room. As he had suspected, it was private. It would keep the riff raff out.

Sitting at the table were Isono and Niko. Jounouchi had to do a double-take at Isono, who wore a simple white undershirt. Niko looked up, her eyes bloodshot, her mascara clumped around her eyes. She stood up and rushed to Jonouchi and wrapped her arms around him. She started bawling into his shirt. Isono turned to Jonouchi, but he didn't say anything. Jonouchi looked down at his hands, splotched a faded crimson.

It was no more than ten minutes when Yugi rushed in, beelining for Niko. He said, "He's going to be okay, Niko. And we're going to help him get better."

Jonouchi found his voice and said to Isono, "What was the last update.?"

"He was out of surgery. Blood transfusion now. They're reviewing a toxicology report." Isono rubbed at his hands. "They won't be allowing any visitors until it's done."

"I knew something was wrong. I didn't think it was this serious though," Niko said through her tears. "Jonouchi, did you see any signs?"

"No. I don't even know what the trigger is. Last time, sure, but I'm at a loss here."

"What do you mean 'last time'?" Niko snapped.

Jonouchi cursed himself. He did say that. Now Niko was looking at him like he kicked a puppy.

Yugi's eyes widened. "That's what happened in Tokyo, wasn't it?"

Suddenly, Niko slapped Jonouchi. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. "You knew and you didn't tell anyone."

Yeah. That was something he was kicking himself over now. Maybe the red flags would have been caught then, but he rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand and said, "I know that it looks bad, but Kaiba didn't want me to tell anyone. He nearly killed me when he found out I told Mokuba's doctor. And he didn't talk to me for days after his first appointment with his therapist. I'd be surprised if he ever trusted me again."

Niko turned away and sat back in her chair. "Well, Isono found him, so we shouldn't fight about this."

Three pairs of eyes stared at Isono.

"I'll stand outside for a bit," Isono suddenly said. He stood and stepped out.

Jonouchi's heart went out to Isono. He didn't know exactly what happened, but he was at least smart enough to put two and two together. He sat across from Niko. Yugi sat next to him.

"I'm sorry. I should have looked after him better," Jonouchi said. "Rotten excuse, but I was competing in a tournament and thought he was okay."

That was a lie. How they had parted a few days ago suggested that Kaiba was still struggling with something. It wasn't that he didn't noticed. It was that it hadn't been a priority at the time, and the thought made Jonouchi sick. He had neglected his needs, and for the second time in a matter of a month, he had nearly lost him again.

"Neither of you should blame yourselves. It's easy to take blame. We need to figure out what to do. Find a way to remove stress from his life," Yugi said. He was already playing with his lighter. "So?"

They were quiet.

"We all know, right?" Niko said.

Yugi looked nervous. "Know what?"

"She knows that Kaiba's in the closet," Jonouchi said flatly. It was an assumption, and he hoped he was right. He assumed by the absence of the engagement ring and Kaiba's comments from days ago that they had finally broke it off and that they had a very revealing talk. "He's not coming out. He's been clear about that."

"It's an obvious stressor of his!" Niko said. "Why does he insist on hurting himself like this?"

Jonouchi watched Niko twist at her sleeves. He felt bad for her. She loved Kaiba. She had been so invested in the relationship, and it all just got pulled away from her. And then this. She must have felt like she was being whipped around by a tornado. Those two weren't engaged anymore, but he could tell that she definitely still cared.

"All we can do for him in that regard is create a welcoming and accepting environment," Yugi said. "Be encouraging. That's what we did when Jou came out. He just needs to feel like he has people he can rely on for support. This isn't a quick fix. He needs to be able to trust us."

"Speaking of," Niko said, "should we tell Mokuba? He's still recovering and this might really put him back."

"No. Mokuba has a right to know what is happening with his brother," Jonouchi said. Yugi and Niko looked at him. By answering, he had apparently volunteered.

"Excuse me," the nurse from earlier said. She stood at the door. "Mr. Kaiba's been transferred to the ICU. He can take a few visitors, but he won't be too responsive. They had to sedate him."

The group followed the nurse out. Yugi stopped and stared outside where Isono stood, on his phone, pacing. He said, "You two go ahead. Isono and I will catch up with you."

Jonouchi and Niko continued along, following the hallway with the nurse. After a few double doors and elevator rides, they reached the ICU. They walked up to the room. The nurse bid them good luck. Jonouchi and Niko looked at each other awkwardly.

"If you want," Jonouchi said, "you can go in alone."

She quickly embraced him, muttering a 'thank you'. She opened the door. There was another, young nurse that was tending to an IV. He greeted Niko with a smile. The door slowly closed behind her.

Kaiba hadn't spoken a word to anyone. Not his therapist. Not Niko or Yugi. Not Jonouchi. And they hadn't even told Mokuba yet. Jonouchi had lost his nerve the first night. The younger Kaiba's texts to Jonouchi were haunting.

Have you heard from Seto? He hasn't been answering any of my texts.

Is he still at work?

He needs a break…

Today, though, Jonouchi was going to tell him. Chin held high, he entered Mokuba's hospital room. His chin immediately dropped at the sight of Mokuba reading something on his tablet with increasing horror. Panic gripped Jonouchi. They had all agreed to not release the cause of hospitalization. Had a staff member in Kaiba's mansion or in the hospital spilled the beans? Jonouchi rushed over.

"Mokuba? What's wrong?"

A dark look that rivaled Kaiba's frightening glare was on Mokuba's face now. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Mokuba, we were going to tell you."

"Dammit, I'm not a child anymore. You don't have to coddle me," Mokuba said.

"I know you're not a kid anymore. But you're still human and hurt."

"You know this wouldn't have worked when I was thirteen. Why would you think it would work now? Tell me what happened. Is he okay?"

Jonouchi searched for his words. He shouldn't restrain himself. Mokuba had just said he was an adult basically. He said, "Seto tried to kill himself," and watched as Mokuba's face blanched.

He continued. "He's okay. Isono found him and got him to the hospital as fast as he could. They're holding Seto for observation and putting him on a medication regimen. They're keeping him on IV since he hasn't been eating, and he hasn't spoken for the past two days. He seemed so angry when he first came out of it, now he's just down. I'm so sorry, Mokuba."

Mokuba sat quietly. The dark look had left him, and it was replaced with grief. Suddenly, he grabbed the remote to call the nurse. He threw off his bed sheets.

"Um, Mokuba? What are you doing?" Jonouchi wanted to do something, but he was afraid of hurting him. He watched as Mokuba pulled his casted right leg to the edge of the bed and guided it to the floor. Mokuba gasped in pain and grabbed his ribs. "Mokuba, get back in bed."

"My brother needs me," Mokuba said. As a stocky nurse came in, Mokuba turned to him and said, "I'm going to see my brother, Kaiba Seto. I need a wheelchair."

"Whoa. Don't you think you should stay put?" Jonouchi said. He looked at the nurse for help, but he had already turned away dutifully for a wheelchair. "Wha-?"

"I've been mobile for a few days. They know."

The nurse returned with a wheelchair and helped Mokuba into it. Then Mokuba glared at Jonouchi.

"Take me to Seto."


	15. Mokuba Part 2

Chapter 15

The past few days felt like a hazy dream. People came to visit, talk, and sit, and he remember not really caring. At one point, all he could feel was anger. Why did they save him? Couldn't they have just let him be? He even considered firing Isono. But those feelings faded away over time. He had awoken that morning feeling lighter until he thought of the crushing workload that awaited him when he returned.

How long had he been out? Too long. He looked around for any indication of time that morning to no avail.

The silence in the room he was in was stifling. He normally preferred the quiet, but after being in the haze, after being numb, he needed some sort of stimulation. The lock to the room's door popped, and in came Hana, a folder in her hand. She stopped at the sight of him.

"Well, don't you look alert today." Hana took a seat next to him. "I figured that you wanted as few people involved, so I've been taking time to come see you. Maybe we can actually have a conversation today?"

Kaiba didn't know what to say.

"If not, that's okay. I know that you've wanted to be by yourself for the past few days," she said, opening up her folder and scribbling.

"No. I just...how long?"

"Four days."

"Four?" Kaiba felt his chest tighten.

"I promise you Kaiba Corp. has not gone under."

"It doesn't matter. I need to get back to work and-"

"And find yourself right back in this situation?" Hana asked. She seemed restrained today. It bothered Kaiba. "Mr. Kaiba, we've talked about this. You need to learn to let go and delegate. You're just one person. On another note, Niko shared your charts with me. She's still your emergency contact and included in your disclosure agreements. Did you know you had a blood alcohol concentration of 0.25?"

"I'm assuming that's a rhetorical question."

"Tell me about your relationship with alcohol."

"I'm taking a hard pass at that question."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

Kaiba sat quietly, staring at the corner of his hospital bed. Four days was a long time. He wanted to know about what had happened during that time, but that seemed to be a question for a friend or family member. He would try anyway. He asked, "How's my brother?"

"Getting stronger every day. Niko tells me that he did some work for the company yesterday with the board of directors. You two make a good team. You're lucky to have him."

He remembered something now. He shut his eyes. "That night...I kept thinking about him, how Kaiba Corp. would be better off with him running things."

"Why do you you think you felt that way?"

Kaiba thought about it for a second absently rubbing at his left wrist. He stopped at the feeling of a rough fabric and gauze, and looked.

"Don't touch it."

He moved his arms to his sides and said, "I kept thinking about the first time at the building. How pathetic I was, how I couldn't keep my personal life in order. The kid could probably handle things just fine. He's resilient like that. I thought I was resilient like that. I was wrong. Kaiba Corp. needs a better leader."

"Just because you hit lows like those times doesn't mean that you're pathetic. Being ill doesn't make you weak."

"Tell that to my investors."

"You seem to be focused on what other people have to say. When I first saw you gain popularity a few years ago, I remember seeing someone tout that he didn't care about what others thought of him. What do you think happened to him?"

"Adult life. Reality. Granted, I still make sure to keep people in their place when they deserve it."

"If you had known you were homosexual then, would you have been out by now?"

He bit back a rude remark. He rubbed at his wrist again. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Just imagine. Take some time to think about it."

Five to ten years ago, the height of his destructive, manic drive to be the best, he would have been too busy for anything. That's a lie. He was just as busy now, even more so, and he had managed the dating scene well enough. He just hadn't cared. He didn't care if people talked about how he didn't have a girlfriend like most guys. He didn't care about what people said with how he dressed. He didn't care that people thought that he was an egomaniac. Someone so sure of himself…

"Yes. I probably would be."

"So what has changed between now and then? Back then you still had investors, people you had to impress. Help me understand why things are different now."

"Maybe I started hiding because I was...afraid. Not just growing up but liking men too. I have never had a positive role model growing up, so I didn't know how to cope with being that kind of different. If anything, Gozaburo made sure to secure my insecurities with his toxic masculinity and homophobia. I suppose realizing what I was, that was the change. I didn't know how I fit in the puzzle, so instead of just re-evaluating and analyzing what was given to me, I took scissors and trimmed away until I could fit a space in it."

"How do you feel you can overcome this?"

"If I knew, we wouldn't be having this conversation," Kaiba said, testily. "I'm open to suggestions."

"How many gay friends do you have?"

"That I know of? One."

"Jonouchi, right?"

"Yeah."

"But he doesn't really count though. Since you seem very fond of him."

"What's your point?" He crossed his arms, grimacing at the throb in his wrist.

"You need to find a sense of community. People that you can relate to that you aren't attracted to."

"You really want me to talk about Jonouchi."

"You seem very fond of him. And he's been a touchstone for you recently. He seems like a very important person in your life, and you treat him just like your sexuality. Repressed until you need release. It's not healthy, and it's a sure-fire way to lose a friend. Mr. Kaiba, don't touch it."

Kaiba dropped his arms again.

"I don't know what to say about him. I don't even know what I'm going to say to him when I get out."

"Oh, you'll see him before you get out. He's been visiting you everyday since you were brought in. And why don't you have an honest conversation about how you feel?"

Sighing, Kaiba said, "I'm tired of pouring my heart out. I don't think he's interested anyway."

"Did you not hear me when I said he's been visiting you everyday?"

There was a knock on the door. It echoed in the barren room.

"Just in time."

Hana stood and walked across the room and unlocked the door.

"Oh!" she said. "Mokuba."

He looked over. His eyes widened at the sight of Mokuba in a wheelchair, staring right at him. The raven-haired teen said, "Jonouchi, could you?"

Jonouchi kept his eyes to the floor and pushed Mokuba to Kaiba's bedside.

"Just text me when you're done," Jonouchi said.

Kaiba shot Hana a look. Obviously, Jonouchi was avoiding him now. He said, "Hana, can we have a moment?"

"Of course," she said. She and Jonouchi stepped out.

The brothers sat in silence for a moment. Mokuba reached out and took Kaiba's hand, squeezing it. He turned over his hand to see the bandaged part of his arm. Kaiba felt embarrassment wash over him. He turned away.

"You should be resting."

"I thought it had been a dream...But I guess I was wrong."

Kaiba had no idea what he was talking about, and he stiffened when Mokuba pulled him into a single-armed hug. His brother pressed his head into his shoulder.

"Why, Seto? What happened?"

"Everything," he said and returned the hug.

He was thankful Mokuba didn't press for more. He didn't know if he could ever formulate the right words to explain to him why it all happened. Tightening his hold on him, Kaiba squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't realized how much he needed this. It had been weeks, months since he and Mokuba had had any physical contact to this extent. He couldn't even say that he was surprised by his reliance on him. Even if they were fighting and seeing less of each other, they were still brothers; they still cared for each other. That's what Kaiba assumed at least. He pushed that thought out of his mind. 'Catastrophic thinking' as Hana described.

"I'm sorry, Seto. You're hurting me."

"Sorry."

They parted.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, fiddling with his cast. "What are you going to do? Because something has to change."

"Niko and I split," Kaiba said. He helplessly hoped that would suffice. He knew it wouldn't.

"And I can take the reigns of Kaiba Corp. for now."

"Absolutely not."

"Why?" Mokuba demanded. "I'm not a kid, and better me than anyone else."

The fact that he was a teenager would have been a go-to reason, but Kaiba had mucked up any opportunity to use that excuse for just about anything. He cursed his ambition. And why couldn't Mokuba just be a normal teenager and go to school and go out with friends? That's what he had wanted from the very beginning for his brother, but apparently, Kaiba had raised him to be just as driven and stubborn.

"Besides, Hana has suggested a few things for you that won't really fit your current lifestyle."

"Like what?"

"An intensive outpatient treatment center."

"No."

"You're there from nine to noon every day for six weeks. There will be individual and group therapy and medication management. And they are going to help you with coping skills."

"I said no."

"If not for you, then for me," Mokuba snapped. Kaiba shut his mouth. "You'll still be able to be involved in Kaiba Corp. Honestly, I wish you would just take an extended time away, but I know that you would refuse outright and you wouldn't budge. You just have to trust me. I can handle the company while you get better."

"Fine."

"And you also need to take medication. At least until your life is better managed."

"Okay."

"And I, as your little brother, am requiring that you spend at least two hours a day on something that you enjoy."

Kaiba opened his mouth.

"That isn't work," Mokuba quickly added.

Kaiba shut his mouth.

"Maybe you can talk to Jou about it."

"I don't know. He can honestly say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time," Kaiba said, thinking about the other day.

"He's been really worried about you. He's been talking a lot to Hana too."

"That idiot is gonna have to pay for his own time with her."

Mokuba laughed. "Glad to hear that you still are cracking jokes."

"Not a joke."

"Do you know when you're going to be released?"

His stomach dropped at the thought. He was going to have to face the world soon. That night had left an entire shitstorm to clean up after. Knowing Isono and the rest of his staff, he probably ensured that little information was given to anyone except for those who needed it, so he needed to figure out what was being said and go from there. Then, him stepping away from Kaiba Corp. was going to raise a lot of questions, and even more, the media trying to figure out just what he was doing. A lot had happened the past month, and his hospitalization right after the split with Niko-when people noticed-would be thoroughly investigated.

"I don't know. It's been four days…"

"I know," Mokuba said. He put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "But don't fixate on that. When you're out, just delegate as much as you can and tell people to mind their own business."

"What has been reported about me?"

"Someone from our staff at home leaked that you were in an accident."

"How the fuck am I supposed to work with that?" He thought about finding and firing the person, but he didn't want anymore sensitive information leaked and unhappy, recently fired employees were never quiet. "They could have said that I fell ill or something. That's vague enough."

"Seto," Mokuba said. "There was a lot of blood. You can't explain that very easily."

Kaiba sighed. "You're right. We can just say I fell, and let people mull over that."

They both smiled at each other, but Kaiba's lips quickly turned to a frown. "How is Isono?"

"I told him to take some time off. You'll probably want to talk to him when he gets back."

He owed at least that much to Isono. Inside, the idea of moving on still hurt him a little, but he was grateful that he was in the company of Mokuba. He was grateful that he kept Mokuba from being alone.

"What are you going to do about Jonouchi?"

"I don't know."

"Want my suggestion?"

"Why not?"

"Talk to him today and sort out what's going on. You've taken long enough."

"That sounds exhausting."

Mokuba laughed. He took his phone out, and Kaiba assumed that he was texting Jonouchi. After a moment, Hana and Jonouchi came into the room. Hana walked over to Mokuba and took the handles of his wheelchair. Mokuba said, "I'll be outside, Jou. You talk to my brother."

Hana, as if she were a conspirer, pushed Mokuba away. The door shut behind them.

Kaiba looked away from Jonouchi. He didn't know what to say. He was starting to feel tired. Suddenly, he felt Jonouchi's fingertips turn his face to him. His amber eyes glistened. Kaiba looked back, feeling some strength return to him.

"Don't you ever do that again," Jonouchi said, and he pulled Kaiba into tight hug, kissing the side of his head multiple times.

At first, Kaiba was stunned. While this wasn't necessarily a public place, they never really did anything where people might see them. The unease left him, and he wrapped his arms around Jonouchi's torso and held him. He let himself melt into the hug; he swore that he could feel Jonouchi's heart race.

Breaking the embrace, Jonouchi said, "You're not saying anything. If you want, I can leave."

"I'm sorry," was the only thing he could think to say.

"What? What are you sorry for?"

"The meltdown. I'd understand if you wanted some distance."

Jonouchi gaped. "You're kidding, right? I thought we were past this. I don't want distance. I want…Look it doesn't matter what I want right now. What do you want?"

"Honestly?"

"Please," Jonouchi said dramatically.

There was so much that he wanted, but he didn't know how Jonouchi felt entirely. Kaiba didn't want to make any assumptions about anything. He still wasn't sure if the blond was avoiding him because he was "vulnerable" or if the entire fiasco had turned him off from actually pursuing anything with him. Looking at Jonouchi, he knew. What he wanted was to keep Jonouchi near him, by his side as much as he could, damn what the media said. But that wouldn't happen if Jonouchi didn't want it. Instead, Kaiba gave a small smile. He said, "I want to go to the Setsubun festival with you and Mokuba. May as well give the kid what he wants."

Kaiba saw frustration? Relief? Disappointment? He wasn't sure, but Jonouchi managed to smile at him and nod.

"Sounds good, Seto."


	17. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I always appreciated you all for reading. Tell me what you think! Next chapter is the last one!

Chapter 16

 

It was too snowy to bike to Yugi's, so Jonouchi sat on a bus and rubbed his arms and hands together. Maybe if he talked to Yugi, he might figure things out...what to say, what to do, what to think...besides, he especially needed to talk to him since he was apparently in a secret relationship with Anzu. He'd have to get to the bottom of that mystery. Solemnly, he stared out the window of his seat. It was the first heavy snowfall of the season. A reminder that Shizuka's graduation was coming in just a few months.

In all of the mess, he had only been able to send texts to check in on her. He hadn't even told her about him and Kaiba. If he could even call him and Kaiba something. It would have been easier if he felt he could express how he felt, but Jonouchi knew that if he spoke up Kaiba wouldn't believe him. A confession after a traumatic experience to him probably could be explained away. Something like "You just feel that way because you feel bad" or "This has only changed because I almost died." It was true. He felt more inclined to say something now that Kaiba had nearly died...twice. But of course, Jonouchi wasn't even sure if Kaiba would respond like that. They hadn't necessarily parted on good terms before the hospitalization. And then Kaiba's actions at the hospital. Jonouchi could have kept holding him for hours. Again, confusion blanketed his thoughts.

"...I'd understand if you wanted some distance…"

Distance was the last thing Jonouchi wanted.

He took out his phone, scrolling. He wished that he could send a text to him to see how he was doing, but he knew Kaiba wouldn't receive it until he was released. Now that was a nightmare, imagining the the sheer amount of work emails, phone calls, texts, and calendar updates waiting for him. It had been a total of seven days in the hospital. He was due to be released the next day, which made Jonouchi giddy, but he wasn't sure if Kaiba was just going to jump back into the high-pressure life.

The game shop came to view in the distance. Jonouchi pulled the signal for the bus driver to stop, and the bus began to slow. Standing and holding onto his seat, he tried to keep his balance as the bus braked to a stop. The doors opened, and bracing himself against the cold, he rushed out.

The salt on the sidewalk crunched under his shoes. Yugi must have shoveled recently. Would Sugoroku be paying someone to do that when Yugi left? To be honest, Jonouchi felt a little betrayed. Yugi had so much in Domino. How could he just drop it? He wondered if Kaiba knew about the move. How would that affect game development? He pushed those thoughts out his mind as he opened the door and said, "Peasants, your champion is here!"

Yugi popped his head out from the living area. "Ah! You're here. Come on in. Honda's already here."

"Cool," Jonouchi said.

When Yugi found out that Honda and Jonouchi were on speaking terms again, he found any way to get them together. Jonouchi knew he just wanted to make up for the missed time and for the upcoming move. It was just so strange, being plunged into the deep end of a freezing cold pool. To make matters worse, he hadn't told Yugi what he had wanted to talk about. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about it with Honda around.

Jonouchi entered the room and gave Honda, who sat on the sofa, a wave. Honda gave him a head nod.

Sugoroku was in the kitchen, steeping his ginger tea. The entire area smelled like it.

Jonouchi sat on the floor. Yugi followed suit. The shorter friend popped some gum in his mouth. He didn't have the scent of tobacco on him as strong as he normally did. Jonouchi hid a smirk, but it dropped quickly.

"Jonouchi, we know what you want to talk about."

"What do you mean?" Jonouchi eyed them both.

"Kaiba and you," Sugoroku shouted from the kitchen.

Jonouchi blushed. "What about us?"

"Jonouchi, you obviously care for him. And he cares for you too. Whenever I visit him at the hospital, he asks about you. And don't forget how close you were for a few years. Anytime you had a moment to each other, there was obviously flirting and interest," Yugi said.

"Flirting and interest doesn't means he cares. And maybe he's just curious," Jonouchi said. He had no idea why he was deflecting. He was among friends. Was it because it was about Kaiba?

"I find that hard to believe," Yugi responded. "Ever since Mokuba's accident, he's sought you out for comfort besides anyone else. Not his fiancee. You."

Yugi stood and walked to the kitchen, saying, "And you can't deny that you care for him. You've been in better spirits with Kaiba. You were there for him when Mokuba had his accident. You were there for him in Tokyo. You're here for him now."

Yugi returned with a bag of carrot sticks, one clamped down between his molars. Through his gritted teeth, he said, "If you didn't care, you wouldn't be so involved in helping him get better. You don't have to talk to his therapist today, but you are."

"Maybe I'm just an involved, close friend," Jonouchi said to Yugi defensively.

"Don't get me started with the looks. Besides, Mai told me about what happened between you two. Again." Yugi crunched at some carrots.

"Man, I knew I shouldn't have said anything to her." Jonouchi crossed his arms. "So what should I do? I care about him. A lot. But the timing couldn't be any worse."

Honda leaned forward on the sofa. He had been silent up to this point. "If you want my honest opinion, you should just take the plunge and tell him how you feel. You've seen what bottling things up can do. Do you want to end up like Kaiba? Besides, I know how you feel about him. That's something you just can't put in a box and forget."

"I don't know," Jonouchi said. He pulled his knees to his chin. "Ever since we saw each other again, I've been thinking a lot. Not just about him, but me too-my future. I just don't want to hope for a future that won't happen."

"Jou, some things are worth hoping for. And you'd be surprised about how things work out," Yugi said thoughtfully as he chewed at another carrot.

Jonouchi snorted. "Yeah, yeah. You'd know."

"Yeah, Yugi," Honda said with a smile. "Mind telling us what's up with you and Anzu?"

Grateful that the attention was off him, Jonouchi stole a few carrots and ate as Yugi stammered in front of him. He was going to miss the guy.

There was a heavier blanket of snow on the ground when Jonouchi stepped out of the game shop. He shivered, wondering if he could handle a stroll instead of taking the bus to the hospital. Money wasn't tight for fare, but he still budgeted like he was dirt poor. If he didn't need it, he didn't need it. The thought of need brought Kaiba to the forefront of his mind. How had he become a need? They were just fine being friends a few years back, but then, that became a want. Now he needed Kaiba, and he couldn't imagine a darker world if he ceased to exist.

Jonouchi decided to forego the bus and walk instead. He needed to cool his head. A few people crunched through the snow with Jonouchi, but it was evening and no one really wanted to be outside. He daydreamed about a hot bath when he got home and then snuggling into his covers to sleep. He frowned. Last year, about this time, he and Kaiba weren't talking. That seemed like a completely different world now. About this time, he was with Grayson, and when he thought of having a drama-filled relationship, he had honestly thought that if he had a relationship with Kaiba then that would be tops. But he and Grayson had a lot of their personal lives shared via the media and Grayson himself. Jonouchi cringed. At least with Kaiba, he could imagine them dealing with their shit without the need for an audience. He shook his head. Kaiba wasn't his boyfriend; they were a complicated mess, so he needed to stop comparing.

His phone pinged. He looked at the message. From Mokuba:

"Waiting on you."

"Almost there."

After a few more minutes, Jonouchi was walking up the way that he had become so familiar with. First, for Mokuba; then, for Kaiba. He hurried down the hallway after signing in, toward a small conference room Hana had reserved. He peeked inside to see Hana and Mokuba sitting and talking already.

What was he even doing? This was something that significant others did, and Kaiba wasn't his boyfriend. He thought of booking it, but Mokuba saw him and waved him in. Hesitantly, Jonouchi entered, adjusting his coat.

"You made it," Mokuba said. He smiled. Jonouchi wondered if he had been worried he wouldn't show up.

"Of course."

Mokuba was looking stronger. It had been several weeks since his accident, and he was, with some difficulty, able to move around more. His range of motion was still in the gutter, but it was a relief after seeing him stuck in the hospital bed for so long. At some point, Mokuba had even gotten a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt to wear instead of the hospital clothes. It must have been a pain to change into them, but the Kaiba brothers both turned out to be a vain bunch. Jonouchi assumed that Mokuba thought it was worth it.

Sitting next to Mokuba, Jonouchi rest his hands on the table and exhaled. He said, "What's going on?"

"We're creating a treatment plan for Mr. Kaiba when he gets out tomorrow," Hana said. Clipped delivery. It was no wonder why Kaiba had stuck with her. "I don't know what Mokuba has told you, but Mr. Kaiba will be in a six-week intensive outpatient program. He'll be there during the first half of the day. He will also be taking a leave of absence-"

"-partial leave, is what Seto calls it-"

"And Mokuba will handle much of the company's goings on."

Jonouchi looked to Mokuba. "Are you sure? I know Kaiba needs this, but this is a lot to take on."

"Sure. I've delayed my enrollment to college a year. Seto wasn't happy to hear it, but that was my choice. Kaiba Corp. is important to him, and I want to make sure he comes back with it in one piece."

"You're sure."

"Positive."

"Okay...so then what about me? What do you need to talk about?"

"Simple business. You're Mr. Kaiba's closest companion."

Mokuba smirked at Jonouchi at those words.

"He needs much support during this transition. It won't be easy on him, and I believe you'll help him cope."

Jonouchi wasn't sure how exactly he could help Kaiba cope. "Aren't you supposed to help him cope?"

"My job is to help Mr. Kaiba develop healthy coping mechanisms and help him understand what happens in his mind and the events in his life." She scribbled in a notebook. Was she taking notes on him? He frowned, but before he could ask, she continued. "You seem like a good person to assist him with this. I asked Mr. Motou as well, but he told me he was actually leaving very soon and wouldn't be able to be the support that Mr. Kaiba needed. He actually strongly recommended you as well as Mokuba."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Distract and diffuse," Hana stated simply.

Jonouchi felt his eye twitch. "He's not going to like a babysitter. I promise you he will use that exact word too. And he's just going to view this as a punishment."

Mokuba smiled at Hana. "I told you."

"Told her what?"

Hana sighed. "Then what do you suggest? We can't just let Mr. Kaiba go his merry way after he leaves the outpatient facility."

"Mokuba, you said partial leave. What if we found a safespace for him and just let him work for a few hours after he's let out? Not at the mansion or Kaiba Corp. Let him feel like he has freedom to do what he chooses without a pressured environment. Maybe something more public. Let him choose where. It's not like the people will distract him. He'd probably ignore them even if they said anything to them. Just let him check-in with you. Kaiba loves control. If he doesn't have it, he's gonna fight until he has it."

Mokuba's smirk looked like his older brother's. "I told you."

"Told her what?"

Mokuba turned to him. "I'd still feel more comfortable if you were with him some of the time. I know you're busy with your dueling career, but is there anyway you could make time?"

Well, he did say he didn't want distance from Kaiba, so he supposed that occasional check-ins with him were okay.

The press jumped at Kaiba the second he was discharged, and Jonouchi could only watch helplessly as Kaiba was forced to stop and talk to them. He didn't know why he came. What he expected. He just wanted to be there for Kaiba that day, and there Kaiba stood in the snow, his nose already rosy, nervously tugging at his coat sleeves. He looked well-rested, but mostly, he looked irritated. For good reason, if Jonouchi had been away from home involuntarily he would have felt the exact same way. Jonouchi fumed at the line of reporters asking their questions until Kaiba scoffed and pushed through.

"I fell. What else is there to tell?"

Shouted questions about he and Niko. Kaiba stopped as if he were thinking and turned to them.

"I don't think that's any of your damn business," Kaiba said.

Jonouchi caught undertones of mirth in his words. He grinned like a madman, the smile fading as Kaiba approached him.

"Jonouchi."

"Kaiba."

"Walk with me." Kaiba brushed past him.

"S-sure." His heart raced.

Jonouchi shot a look at the reporters, who stared after them warily.

"Come on, Jonouchi. It's cold out."

The blond hurried after Kaiba. There was already a considerable distance between them. Kaiba was waiting by the car, with the door open, when Jonouchi caught up.

"Get in."

"Okay? Aren't you worried about, you know?"

"If you keep pointing it out, I will. Get in."

Jonouchi hopped in. Kaiba following. After a brief silence, Kaiba said, "My treatment plan was made without me, so I'm entirely sure what role you play in it...Why were you waiting for me?"

"Can't a friend be there for you?"

"Hmmm. Take us to Jonouchi's place."

Jonouchi's eyes widened. "Where is-?"

"Isono? I called him and told him to take a vacation."

Kaiba stared out the window. Was that all he was going to do? Jonouchi had assumed he had something to say to him, but nothing. He watched his steady breathing as they drove along. Maybe he was just being nice and giving him a ride.

"I appreciate you being involved, but you don't have to be. I think I've caused enough inconvenience in your life."

Frowning, Jonouchi said, "You're far from an inconvenience."

He thought about what Honda said. Was this a good time to tell him how he felt? Jonouchi looked Kaiba up and down. He reconsidered Kaiba's words, and Jonouchi decided that Kaiba was still wrapped up in the self-blame mindset. It wasn't a good time. He needed a friend more than anything else.

"Hey, let's stop for coffee and talk about your tournament," Kaiba suddenly said. His eyes hadn't left the window.

Tournament? The last tournament was over a week ago when...Jonouchi grimaced. He said, "You sure?"

"Talking about duels will be refreshing after being talking to Hana every single day for the past few days. I need to hear someone else's voice for once. Besides, I don't even know how well you did."

Well? Jonouchi blushed. He was assuming that he had been doing, at the very least, well in his duels.

"Well?" Kaiba said. There were traces of impatience.

"Oh! Um, yeah."

"Good."

"But you owe me a danish."

"Who says?"

"I say."

"I'll get you a coffee, but that's it."

"Absolutely no fun."


	18. Setsubun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turn around is fast! But I really needed this out before classes started up again tomorrow.

Chapter 18

 

Mokuba's gift to Kaiba was tai chi lessons.

"It's supposed to be a stress reliever and great for meditation," he had said.

Before he left for the outpatient facility, he did his exercises wordlessly. At first, he felt stupid. He was fine with the slow movements and deep breathing, but the teacher was insufferable. She talked too much. Wasn't he supposed to be meditating? Wasn't he supposed to feel less stressed by doing this? He also couldn't let his body flow the way she was telling him to. Every bit of him felt stiff and uneasy.

Then Jonouchi showed up one morning in gym clothes. He had smiled at him. He was mid-stretch when the blond said, "You've been doing this for two weeks and you haven't figured out stretching?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just thought you were more flexible than that," Jonouchi had continued and had started his own stretch that seemed to flow naturally. "Stop being so precise and just let it go."

"What? Are you my teacher now?"

"Nope. But Mokuba told me about how much you sucked at tai chi and I figured you would want company."

Then, Jonouchi started showing up every morning for the lesson, occasionally jumping in and helping with his form, and he'd ask if there was any breakfast and Kaiba would end up having breakfast with him. And then when Mokuba was discharged, he was invited to dinner. By Mokuba. A lot. It started off as an inconvenience, but it grew into something similar to what they had before. Only this time, Kaiba was more alert of Jonouchi's actions. He wasn't sure what to expect from him, but Jonouchi, except for tai chi, had kept to his own space like he was avoiding him. But why come to visit everyday to see him then? Even when Kaiba was working on the limited projects funneled to him by Mokuba? He was going mad. What did Jonouchi want because Kaiba was finding himself looking forward to tai chi in the morning with him and dinner with him in the evening...

This morning, Mokuba and Jonouchi sat next to each other. They were discussing some television show that Kaiba refused to watch because of its failed attempts at being clever. While they did this, Kaiba flipped through a stack of news. There had been reports of an increasing number of robberies in the factory district. The Prime Minister was traveling to France. Kaiba stopped at another bit of newsprint. The discussion between Jonouchi and Mokuba stopped as they all stared at the headline.

"Kaiba Corp. CEO in Treatment"

He considered reading it. What bullshit were they coming up with now? Who was talking? He took his coffee mug and took a sip from it. He finally decided. The article wasn't worth his time. He folded the newspaper up and tossed it away from him. He looked up to see Mokuba and Jonouchi watching him.

"What?"

"Nothing," they said in unison.

Kaiba had to admit that it felt freeing to do that. It still nagged at the back of his brain though, but he signed up for the attention by being so...out there when he was younger. The attention wouldn't go away overnight. He hoped that over time he would receive less coverage now that he and Niko weren't together anymore. Which reminded him. He took out his phone and texted her.

" _Mokuba's been asking for your hot cocoa recipe. It's like he's four or something."_

" _Lol I'll text him. Heard you got a boyfriend now?"_

" _No."_

" _Really? You're sure?"_

" _Just unfounded claims."_

" _Whatever you say. You two are cute."_

He looked to Jonouchi. What were they even? Jonouchi looked to Kaiba, then gave him a soft smile, and Kaiba could feel his ears heat up. Before he gave any indication that he was affected by Jonouchi, he stood and picked up his mug of coffee, sipping.

"I need to get going."

"Look at you. About to finish your fifth week," Jonouchi teased.

"For the last time, it's nothing like probation."

"You're right. It's way worse."

"Don't you have an event you need to go to?" Kaiba turned away, fidgeting with his sleeves. "I'll see you later Mokuba. I'll want-"

"A full report on what has happened at Kaiba Corp. this week. You tell me this every week, and I haven't forgotten  _nor_  have I told your doctors or Hana that you're already pushing at your limits. I can handle this. You just take care of yourself."

"Fine, kiddo."

"What? What about me?"

"I was assuming that you got the hint."

Jonouchi stared at him blankly. Kaiba kept a straight face despite himself. The face was adorable. He managed to say, "You're leaving."

"Oh, right."

They both gave Mokuba a final good-bye and left out the front door. The car sat out front. The first day, Kaiba had driven off early after an idiot made assumptions about why he left Niko; all very insulting to Niko. The facility's staff told Hana, and Hana told Mokuba, and then Mokuba told Isono that he would, for the rest of the six weeks, drive Kaiba there. He wished Isono wasn't pulled into this. He had done enough for him. More than what was required of an employee, but Isono being Isono took the assignment and he took it very seriously.

Jonouchi walked alongside Kaiba, kicking at the small bits of snow remaining. "Hey, I was wondering...Did you want to watch a movie with me this evening?"

"Mokuba has physical therapy this evening."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah what?"

" _We_  could still watch it."

Kaiba jerked his head to Jonouchi, but the blond was looking away. Since he was discharged, they hadn't spent a single second alone together. Isono, Mokuba, the airhead tai chi instructor, other staff members...they had all been there like babysitters. Kaiba could have sworn it was on purpose.

"What did you have in mind?"

"The foreign film theater is playing  _Ode to My Father_."

They stopped at the car.

"Jonouchi, with our history with father figures, do you really, truly think I would enjoy it? And before you answer, I want you to really think about it."

"Well, I looked into  _Million Dollar Baby_  and that seems a bit too sad for my liking. Don't worry. I've done my research. It'll be good."

" _Million Dollar Baby_ won the 'Best Film' category at the Academy Awards. Sometimes 'sad' makes for a moving movie." Kaiba sighed. "Where is this film from?"

"South Korea."

He scoffed. "You and your damn Korean movies. Fine. What time?"

"We can walk together. Not too far from here. See you at five."

He usually worked then, and he was going to have a meeting with Mokuba. "But-"

"Nope! See. you. At. Five." Jonouchi said and took his bike. Kaiba looked around. Since when did his staff start doing things for Jonouchi? Before he could ask, Jonouchi was off on his bike. Kaiba stared after him.

"Mr. Kaiba."

He looked over to see Isono waiting on him.

"We should be going now."

* * *

Jonouchi felt bad for Mokuba. He hadn't gotten the okay by Dr. Sato to come to the festival. He was still in a wheelchair and was still healing. His physical therapist agreed. And Jonouchi figured by the look on his face that Kaiba also agreed, though he had a sneaking suspicion that he still was hiding from the press and didn't want to go to any temples. Understandably so.

Still, this didn't mean they couldn't celebrate Setsubun. He counted on his fingers as he added up Mokuba and Kaiba's ages, and he grabbed several bags of roasted soybeans. That would have to be enough. He searched around for ehomaki and shoved some in his basket. He had a demon mask at his apartment that he could use for the little ritual.

The event hadn't lasted too long. He had just needed to show up and smile, which was easy. As long as he didn't look mangy, things were fine. He stepped to the line and waited. Again, a magazine caught his eye.

"Is It Love? The Kaiba-Jonouchi Mystery"

He did a double take. The photo beneath the print was dark, but he could see the definite silhouette of himself and Kaiba standing side by side on the balcony of Kaiba's study. He felt violated. He knew exactly when that was and he knew that there was no intimate conversation. They honestly hadn't had a private conversation for weeks. He snatched at the magazine and placed it on the conveyor belt along with his other items. He'd read that later. What had they heard? Probably a boring conversation about duel monsters. He stopped. Had they been talking about something personal?

Jonouchi checked the time on his phone. Four thirty. He needed to book it to Kaiba's or he'd be late. He paid, took his items, and biked as quickly as he could.

When he arrived with the roasted soybeans and ehomaki, Kaiba gaped.

"What's that?"

"It's for your Setsubun celebration at home. I figured since Mokuba couldn't go to the festival that he could at least have fun here. You can join in too. You can throw beans at me as hard as you want even," Jonouchi laughed. "Do you think I can store this here until then?"

Kaiba looked away for a moment and muttered something to himself. Jonouchi couldn't hear.

"So can I? It'll only be for tonight and then it'll be like it was never there."

"Give it to the staff. We're supposed to be leaving, right?" Kaiba then took his typical defensive position and crossed his arms.

"Eager? I knew you'd see my way." Jonouchi ran in and returned breathless. "Alright. Let's go."

"Lead the way," Kaiba said, shoving his gloved hands in his coat pockets. "Spring's nearly here, but it's still cold."

As they walked in silence, Jonouchi racked his brain for something to talk about. He generally avoided bringing up the outpatient facility if he could help it. If Kaiba wanted to share, he would. But damn if he weren't curious. Kaiba probably worked before he had arrived, but they had strict rules of not talking about business outside of the times he worked. Jonouchi wondered if Kaiba was going batshit. If he was, he was hiding it well. Or venting about it at the facility.

"Thank you for thinking about Mokuba," Kaiba said. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"No problem. That kid needs one last campy Setsubun ritual before he's considered an adult."

"Don't remind me."

"You're not ready, are you?" Jonouchi said.

"No."

Silence.

"We had been fighting a lot about what he was going to do when he graduated. I wanted him to go and be a normal college student. I have spent the better part of my life working to make sure Mokuba could live a comfortable life where he didn't have to struggle. Give him what I didn't have. Mokuba wants to stay at Kaiba Corp. and go to school part-time at Domino. I told him it was beneath him." Kaiba thought for a moment. "I want him to stay, but he deserves more than what Kaiba Corp. can give him."

"I feel the same. My sister Shizuka is graduating this year too, and she's going to be off on her own. But it started earlier. She started dating Honda behind my back. When I found out, the more I said no, the more insistent she became. I didn't think that Honda was good enough for her. She has a bright future ahead of her, and she doesn't need some guy like me or Honda holding her back. Things have gotten better. It's like walking on eggshells though. He's coming to her graduation too."

Kaiba laughed. "I'd probably kill him."

"You know. Funny thing is that I have no idea if you're joking."

"Funny thing is that you think you're funny."

They arrived at the theater and bought the tickets. Jonouchi watched as Kaiba, seemingly out of habit, went to the back of the theater. Sometimes he forgot how freakishly tall that guy was. They sat together and again fell into a silence until the movie started. Ten minutes in, he heard a snort from Kaiba. He looked at him and whispered, "What? It just started."

"These subtitles are terrible."

"And you could do better?"

"Of course, I could."

"Turn your brain off and watch."

The movie progressed and from the corner of his eye, he noted the interest that seemed to grow in Kaiba. He had leaned in a little more and wasn't making any derisive comments as the characters returned to South Korea from Germany and as some audience members gushed at the wedding.

By the time the main character, Deok-Soon, leg lamed, returned home from Vietnam, Kaiba looked highly engaged. Jonouchi...not so much. He should have been watching the movie, but his attention always seemed to drift to Kaiba.

"Take a picture, Jonouchi."

Jonouchi jumped and thanked the gods that the theater was so dark he was blushing so much. He wasn't sure what to say, so he kept quiet. His words would probably betray him anyway.

When the movie ended, Kaiba had a very pensive look on his face. The final words of the characters dwelling. Deok-Soon's father wasn't coming back. Jonouchi swallowed a lump in his throat and told himself he wasn't going to cry. Instead he touched Kaiba's shoulder and gestured for the exit. Kaiba gave a curt nod. As they exited the movie theater, Kaiba shrugged.

"It was decent."

"Decent?"

"Jonouchi, I don't think you can be much of a judge since you watched less than half of the movie."

Again, Jonouchi felt himself blush as they walked down the street. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why did Deok-Soon go to Vietnam then?"

"Uh."

"Exactly." Kaiba rubbed his scalp. "You are ridiculous sometimes."

Jonouchi chuckled. He took a chance. "Guess I couldn't help myself."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Jonouchi backed down. "Nothing." He cleared his throat. "So...I guess we go our separate ways."

"Your place is in my direction, Jonouchi."

"Oh, right."

Impatience was mounting in Kaiba's voice. He was no fun to talk to when he started getting like this. Jonouchi tried to diffuse as they walked.

"How are you liking tai chi?"

Kaiba tensed. Not the reaction Jonouchi was looking for.

Kaiba stammered. "It's, it's fine. Something to do in the mornings. Since I can't really do much else."

"Well, I think you're getting better at it."

Though that was normal for Kaiba. The guy strove to improve until he was the best. At basically everything. It was inspiring and stress inducing at the same time. How did he become so hardwired into success and perfection?

"What? Not really liking it?" Jonouchi asked. He twisted his body so that he could get a better look at Kaiba's face as they walked. His face was rosy from the cold. "I mean, I admit. In any other situation, you wouldn't ever be doing it, but you seem to enjoy it from what I can tell."

Jonouchi was a generally active individual, so the new activity didn't disrupt anything about his life. But he had been enjoying it for other reasons. He hadn't realized that he was the only one enjoying the other's company. Kaiba turned his head away from Jonouchi and said, "If you want me to say I'm enjoying it, you're not getting it. Nor am I going to say that I hate it. It's just. Something to do."

They stopped at their crossroads. Jonouchi didn't want Kaiba to go just yet. He coughed. "Don't know about you, but I'm hungry. It's still early. You want something to eat? I'll cook."

He had just invited him over to his place...What was he doing?

"You're not going to poison me, are you?"

"Ha ha. I'm not too shabby in the kitchen." Jonouchi held his chin high. He ignored the suggestion in his statement. "I got some leftover rice. How about omurice? Easy. Only a complete moron could mess it up."

Kaiba smirked at that and started walking in the direction of Jonouchi's apartment. "Sometimes you make it too easy. Come on then. Let's get going. I've got nothing better to do."

When they arrived, Jonouchi pointed to the table in the kitchen telling Kaiba to have a seat, and grabbing the ingredients from the fridge, he went straight to work. He whisked the ketchup with the chicken stock and set it to the side, and then he started on the fried rice that would go inside the omelette. The pan sizzled as he cooked mushroom, onion, peas, and carrots and as he added the rice. Behind him, Kaiba was his normal quiet self. His boast that only a moron could mess up the dish made him paranoid. Surely, he wouldn't muck it up when he was cooking for someone. It was worse because he had no idea what was going on in Kaiba's mind at the moment. He clearly wanted to be there; increasingly, he had started becoming his obstinate self, not willing to take as much bullshit from anyone. It made Jonouchi happy to see that even if it was like talking to a brick wall at times.

Jonouchi added the sauce and mixed it into the rice. After a few minutes, he removed the rice from heat and started on the omelette. Kaiba snorted at the table.

"You can't even see what I'm doing. What are your snorting about?"

"Nothing," was the response.

As he added half of the fried rice into the omelette, he remembered. He had a few magazines sitting on the table. He jerked around and found Kaiba flipping through one. A ghost of a smile was on his lips. Jonouchi admired the look on Kaiba's face. Suddenly, Kaiba said without looking up, "You're burning the omelette."

"Shit." Jonouchi returned to the omelette and flipped in onto a plate. He quickly made the second one. He kept the burnt one to himself and placed a spoon and the nicer looking omurice in front of Kaiba, who finally looked from an article. Jonouchi took a look at the article. It was another "investigative" article on what had been going on with the CEO. This article suggest alcoholics anonymous. Jonouchi said, "I thought you weren't supposed to read this shit."

"Clearly it's interesting to you. Why else would you have it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just put it away." Jonouchi sat next to Kaiba. He felt him shift. Watching Kaiba, Jonouchi started eating. He felt the crunch of the burnt omurice. It was still good, but it wasn't how he expected it. Kaiba ate carefully, and Jonouchi simply stared, his eyes falling to the other's lips.

"What's wrong? You keep staring."

"Nothing." Jonouchi sat stiffly in his chair and shoveled the rest of the food in his mouth. He thought back to the article Kaiba had just been looking at. Realizing that he hadn't see the brunet with an alcoholic beverage in his hand in weeks, Jonouchi asked, "What's the program like?"

Kaiba paused with his spoon in his mouth and blinked at Jonouchi. Jonouchi never associated the word "cute" with Kaiba until that second. He doubted that it was intentional.

"What about it? I go, I talk, they talk, and they monitor my behavior."

"Uh-huh."

"Did you have a specific question…?"

"Uh…"

"Jonouchi, this is far from good conversation," Kaiba said, pushing his plate to the side.

"Sorry. Just...you've been acting differently. What exactly do you talk about?"

"Well, it is a behavioral program, Jou. We discuss better ways to manage our lives...new, healthier coping strategies. It's why Mokuba started pushing tai chi. It was better than other things that I did."

Jonouchi didn't ask more. It was pretty clear. He wanted to ask him how long he had been dry, but he assumed that Kaiba didn't want to talk about it very much. He changed the topic.

"With all your free time, have you thought of any new projects? They tell you to stop working, but they can't keep you from thinking."

"I've been thinking about moving."

"Why?" Jonouchi could think of a few reasons why, but with Kaiba, he wasn't sure.

Kaiba stared at the table, clasping his hands together. "It's long overdue. The place isn't much my style, and it's too big for me. I don't know what Mokuba will be doing, but he isn't going to live with me his entire life. He has his own life to live. And...other reasons."

"So selling the mansion."

"No."

"No?"

"What? Let some other rich bastard live in a place that is far too big for him?  _Please_. I've already talked to Mokuba about the idea years ago. We were thinking of making a contribution to the Domino Children's Foundation and helping establish a new orphanage. There's plenty of room, and the facilities are sufficient. Better than what Mokuba and I had."

Jonouchi wanted to praise him, but Kaiba wasn't doing this for that. "So where does that leave you?"

"Not quite sure yet. I've just been thinking about it."

"Sounds like you've made up your mind."

Kaiba smiled but didn't say anything.

Taking the plates the kitchen sink, Jonouchi said, "Ever think of having one?"

"What? Kids. I don't need another kid right now."

Jonouchi heard the sound of a chair moving, and he suddenly had Kaiba at his elbow. The brunet was rolling up his sleeves, and Jonouchi could help but stare at the healing gashes across his left arm. Stop staring, he told himself as Kaiba took the dishes and started washing them. Kaiba tossed Jonouchi a glance.

"Besides, I need to focus on the here and now. At least for the next few months."

"Do you mind if I ask what you're focusing on right now?"

"Washing dishes. Obviously."

"No. That's not what I mean," Jonouchi said. He took a clean dish and wiped it with a dish rag.

Kaiba started cleaning some chopsticks that Jonouchi had left in the sink. Jonouchi felt silly for not being to picture him doing household chores until now. It must have been the pent up energy. He was probably seeking out things to do these days. It was then that he noticed that Kaiba seemed uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be prodding too much," Jonouchi said. He half-expected Kaiba to bite his head off, but Kaiba looked intent on his chore. For a moment, Jonouchi admired him. How he always gave his hyper-focused attention to whatever he did. The sharpness of his blue eyes as he worked. He had the bluest eyes Jonouchi had ever seen, and he was suddenly entranced by them.

"No. It's…" Kaiba turned off the faucet and rested a hip on the counter. He took the remaining pair of chopsticks and fiddled with them. "I'm just focusing on...us right now."

"What's wrong with that?" Jonouchi moved close and caressed Kaiba's cheek. His blue eyes pulled him in, and then he suddenly felt the pressure of chopsticks on his lips. He blinked.

"What are we, Jonouchi?" Kaiba suddenly said. He had stopped Jonouchi just before his lips, and Jonouchi could feel his warm breath. Again, his eyes were diverted away from Jonouchi.

With his free hand, Jonouchi grabbed Kaiba's and lowered the barrier between them. "Call me Katsuya. Please?"

He saw Kaiba's breath hitch. His voice shook. "Katsuya. What are we? I need to know. What do you want?"

"I know what I want, Seto," Jonouchi said and pulled Kaiba into a brief kiss. He pressed his head into Kaiba's shoulder. Softly, he said, "But it's whatever you want-"

Kaiba's lips were quickly on Jonouchi's, and the fire that he had felt every time they had kissed previously returned. His heart raced as Kaiba breathed into him and ran his hand through his hair. Jonouchi wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him forward, and Kaiba stumbled toward him, wrapping an arm around Jonouchi's waist. Kaiba suddenly stopped.

"I want  _you_. I want you by my side and I want to be by yours. I care for you, Katsuya." He smiled and pressed his forehead onto Jonouchi's. "Am I wrong to hope you feel the same way?"

"No. You're not." And Jonouchi closed the gap between him and Kaiba.

* * *

It was morning already. Still pretty early, but Kaiba felt tired. Despite how uncomfortable the bed felt, he didn't want to move. (He had to remember to motivate Jonouchi to get a new mattress.) He reached over and brushed his hand through Jonouchi's thick bangs. A part of him didn't believe it. A part of him was frightened. All of him, though, was happy. He sat up and searched around for a clock in the bedroom. Blue flashed from across the room. Five o'clock. If he wanted to avoid too much attention, he needed to leave soon. It had been a while since he did the walk of shame.

Jonouchi inhaled deeply through his nose and reached over to stroke along Kaiba's bare back. He really didn't want to leave this apartment for home. Mokuba was there, but he couldn't stay there anymore. During his one-on-one sessions at the treatment center, Kaiba had to come to accept that while having the mansion was a wonderful fuck you to Gozaburo and a reminder of his achievements it was packed with unpleasant memories related to the man. Was stroking his ego more important than his mental health? Kaiba had said no, but it was hard accepting it. He hadn't wanted Jonouchi to know about that, though he suspected that Jonouchi knew there was more. He'd tell him when he was ready.

"It's too early," Jonouchi groaned.

Kaiba stretched and yawned. "I need to get going."

"Because you have very important places to go. I know you don't have to go today." Jonouchi yawned. "We're just celebrating Setsubun with Mokuba today."

"I know." Kaiba turned to Jonouchi. He blurted out, "I don't think I'm ready to come out publicly yet."

At that, Jonouchi laughed. Kaiba blushed, frustrated with the reaction. He wasn't sure why Jonouchi was taking things so lightly. Jonouchi sat up and wrapped his arms around Kaiba's waist. He kissed his shoulder. "That's okay."

Kaiba didn't feel that way. He touched Jonouchi's arm. "I'm not ashamed of you. I just don't want to answer to anyone right now. We'll go about business as usual but let's not talk about it too much...Just focus on us for now."

A shiver went down his spine as Jonouchi started kissing the nape of neck. He jerked forward. He wasn't going to get anything done today if this kept going. "What time are you coming over?"

"I'll come over with you. Tai chi, remember?"

"So you're always going to be around now, aren't you?"

"Yup!"

"Fantastic."

After Jonouchi finished getting ready and Kaiba found his clothes and called for a ride, they started out the door. Jonouchi held a ridiculous looking demon mask. Kaiba refrained from saying anything about it. They slipped into the back of the car. Isono whistled to himself and pulled out.

When they arrived at the mansion, Jonouchi slipped on the mask and bolted into the mansion, leaving Kaiba with Isono. He tossed a glance at the older man. He was awed by his loyalty.

"Isono," Kaiba said.

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba."

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. I owe you my life. If there is anything at all that you ever need, let me know."

Isono's posture stiffened. "Thank you, sir."

Kaiba walked onward. He didn't need anymore touchy feely moments. He went inside and took a shower. Downstairs from his room, he heard Jonouchi and Mokuba laughing and joking. He'd need to tell Mokuba at some point, but the kid was smart. If he didn't say anything, then he was positive that Mokuba would figure it out. He looked at himself in the mirror as he buttoned up his shirt. It was nearly six weeks and he felt like the world around him was stabilizing aside from the occasional shifts of the ground. He even seemed to look different in the mirror, though he couldn't quite place it. Did it matter though?

"Hey! Slow poke. We're waiting on you." Jonouchi's voice carried through the hall. Eighteen year old Kaiba Seto would have never believed this. He would have never admitted any feelings he felt toward the blond. Jonouchi was loud, brash, and uncouth at times. But he was also caring, devoted, and giving. Kaiba snorted. Enough with the sentimentality. The idiot just taunted him.

He hurried out his room, and he and Mokuba pelted Jonouchi with roasted soybeans.

" _Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!"_

_Demons out! Luck in!_

_-Fin_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, all. Apologies for anyone that was looking for smut btw. xP Currently, there are related stories in the makings. I'm already writing about the events before The Path of Most Resistance in a story called "Knock You Down" as well events after it in "Another Day". You'll see a struggling Kaiba, an idiotic Jonouchi, a bad ass Mokuba, and a Mai that just loves to stick her nose in other people's business. You, of course, have sweet Yugi.
> 
> It is a bit freeing knowing that I have finished a project. Lately my writing has fizzled out, but this accomplishment makes me feel pretty good.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your readership made it all worth it.
> 
> -S


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